(no subject)

[worstpire]

No.

No, nope, I am not being dragged into your half-cocked plans -- not this time, not ever. You think I don't know what kind of things you get up to with your scheme-y friends? Don't you think I've suffered enough mental anguish? I'm still dealing with the v-word problem, I don't have time for this!

Okay, okay, I'm sorry for yelling at you, but still, no. Noooooo.

Comments

[onteamdyson]

[Did someone say mental anguish? Can you sneak up on a wussy vampire?]

Pffft. V-word problem. You can say it dude. It's okay. We're all adults here. How hard is it to say vagina anyway? Did you recently grow one, or are you having trouble finding one?

[worstpire]

[ djflSJFalsdjfLSK ]

WH -- oh my god, that wasn't what I meant at all! Not -- not that I'm repulsed, shit, but that definitely was not the v-word I was... referring to...

[onteamdyson]

You sure? You sound a little repulsed. But hey, that's cool, too. We could totes find you a man. So what v-word are we dealing with? Vermin? Varicose veins? Viking? [GASP] Do you have a viking problem?!

[worstpire]

Vi -- who has viking problems? No, it's... vampire. Vampire problems. Alright?

[onteamdyson]

Britain? Eastern Europe? [Legit viking problems, Conrad. Way to not know history.] Who has vampire problems? There shouldn't be any problems. Only coolness. You're doing it wrong.

[livelygolem]

No, no! It's the virgin problem! Look, he's really shy.

[onteamdyson]

Awwwwwwwwwwh! What?! Seriously?! Oh my god, that's tragic and adorable at the same time. Tragidorable on so many levels. I know a fine-ass lady that could help him out. Unless he'd prefer not-a-lady. I-- ... he's not as fine-ass.

[fangool]

[ what is you ] There's no escape. Yer doomed. Forever.

[worstpire]

[ ... YES? ] Fantastic, maybe I can set a record for most times doomed forever.

[fangool]

With this lady, I don't think you'll have too hard of a time. [ Give him a second, he's going to... sniff at you. ] How old are you?

[worstpire]

Why? ... Did you just sniff me? Why do people keep sniffing me?

[fangool]

Because you smell like vampire. [ Oh god, he's too cute. ] S'why. How old are you?

[livelygolem]

Don't have time? What exactly are you killing all these hours on?

[worstpire]

Things that aren't unnecessary existential torture?

[livelygolem]

Torture? PFFT. Come on, it's not that bad.

[worstpire]

Easy for you to say, you haven't had to deal with this in roughly a year. I'm not taking any chances!

[livelygolem]

Yeah, but in my defense? When I was dealing with it, I dealt with some serious shit, man. Are you eating glass right now? No? You're heh--you're fine. How bad can it be, anyway?

[clockworking]

They certainly do have a knack for this sort of thing. And for ignoring even the most through of complaints.

[worstpire]

I'm noticing this! And yet realizing that that's pretty much no different from my everyday life.

[ HMM THAT OMINOUS TICKING IS FAMILIAR ]

[clockworking]

Perhaps another method would be more prudent.

[ NOPE. No ticking going on here. ]

They seem to indulge in making one's life...more difficult by throwing us into situation. But surely there are ways to prevent such matters from occurring.

[worstpire]

Well, lying down and refusing to cooperate didn't work, so I'm fresh out of ideas.

[sonotagirl]

Hey at least your mun doesn't plan on taking you to a sex game. Eventually.

[worstpire]

The -- that's a thing?

[sonotagirl]

Heck yeah- I mean gnee...

Well yeah it is.

( sorry, the possibility of being with a cute girl is making him hopelessly happy. )

[worstpire]

[ Pfffff -- ffffpfffppffttt. ]

Are -- are you sure that's the kind of place for you? [ NERDY POT, NERDY KETTLE. ]