Voicetesting: In which Travis questions my choice in muses

[jerkitout]

Yeah, that's right. Your choice in characters has been seriously pissing me off lately. What do I mean? What the fuck do you think I mean? First off, you pick up every assassin and their grandmother but me. Then after you finally get rid of them all and pick up me you have the balls to leave her around? Have you gone insane? Bad Girl is batshit fucking psychotic! ...no pun intended.

...anyway, like I was saying before; get rid of her! I have to sleep in here, asswipe! I don't want some crazy bitch coming at me with a bat while I'm trying to catch some Zs!

[...]

Wait...WHAT?! You mean to tell me through those lazy-ass ellipses that you're actually apping HER to a game, but not ME?! What kinda fucked up shit is this?  No, you know what? Bullshit. I am not standing for this level of bullshittery. There's gotta be a place I can report your ass to! You know, I call up a hotline, tell them my story, then they go and get me a new player because you suck?

...no? ...nothing at all?

...

...well they should. Seriously, fuck you.

Comments

[getdownfromthere]

Assassins? Where?!

[jerkitout]

[Is...is that a suit of armor?]

Everywhere, considering my luck.

[getdownfromthere]

[with a person inside, naturally]

They're on the roofs again, aren't they?

[jerkitout]

[That's kind of geeky, but in a cool way.]

Well, I have fought a couple of them on roofs. So yeah, probably.

[getdownfromthere]

He is the height of Renaissance battlegear fashion]

[growls in frustration] why do some people find it so difficult to obey the law?

[overdosing]

You're no prize yourself, schweinhund. That's no way to talk about a lady.

Oh wow, voice actor bros

[jerkitout]

Okay. Maybe I wasn't clear enough the first time, old man. Let me say it in a way you can understand.

[Oh boy, this outta be good. He's even clearing his throat and everything.]

Zhis bitch ist quite crazy, ja? She vill bash mein head in vithout a second zhought!

That sound any better, Doc?

[overdosing]

[wow R-U-D-E. you racist, boy?]

...You've never enunciated a day in your life, have you? Here, take it slowly, like this.

[ready to hear his horrible imitation of a Californian accent? you sure as shit better be.]

Oh fuck, I cannot believe that such a sweet, fair young woman would hate my stupid fucking guts! The nerve! Who is SHE to call me out for the waste of fucking space I am? Fuck, fuck, FUCK!

Was that good enough?

[jerkitout]

[No, just a huge prick.

While Medic goes on that little tangent, Travis actually sticks his finger in his ear to make it look like he's plucking the wax out. A few seconds later, he looks at the German with an obviously fake look of confusion.]

Oh, I'm sorry. Were you talking to me just now? My bad, dude. All I could hear was "I have no idea what the fuck I'm talking about, please ignore my ignorant ass". Needless to say I took your advice.

1/2

[overdosing]

[that little blip you hear might be the sound of his blood pressure spiking.]

2/2

[overdosing]

What? Was I not filthy enough? Should I have gone on a tangent about being a lazy, arrogant child?

Bitte, tell me. Unlike you, I only strive for accuracy.

sorry not sorry

[forgatmigej]

[This is just too good to resist.]

So I see you two have met.

[overdosing]

He's disgusting!

[jerkitout]

I think you need to reread the English dictionary, old man! Seems you're throwing around words with no idea about what they mean.

[overdosing]

Well, "idiotic" was too nice and "perverse" would have been an understatement!

And besides, shouldn't you be off getting your skull caved in?

[forgatmigej]

He is, I won't deny that.

You know, he was the person I was facing in my duel to the death.

[overdosing]

That was HIM?

[oh god, he is so sorry, Holly.]

Your poor dignity...

[riskbreaker]

[Once you deal with one Travis you deal with all of them--except not because Travis please calm down oh my god.]

If your safety is that much of an issue, I suggest you start paying attention to your surroundings. If this woman with a bat is as deranged as you claim, she may very well take you by surprise one day.

[jerkitout]

[HE WILL NOT CALM DOWN, SOME BITCH WANTS TO KILL HIM]

...you know, I'm starting to think sleep's overrated.

[riskbreaker]

Well.

If you mean to make yourself even more paranoid, yes.

[jerkitout]

Fuck being paranoid, this bitch is insane!

[flirts]

My, you are quote ze overdramatic child.

Oh my god...

[jerkitout]

[WOW SYLVIA, WAY TO HELP HIM OUT HERE...]

How exactly am I being over dramatic? You know damn well she'd bash my face in first chance she gets.

cackles

[flirts]

[ WHEN HAS SHE EVER BEEN HELPFUL REALLY ]

So? You should bash her face in right back.

his misery really is beautiful tbh

[jerkitout]

[LIKE HE SAID IN THE SECOND GAME, HER PERSONALITY KINDA SUCKS]

For some unexplained reason, he actually likes her better than me. Which means he'll let her do it while I can't do jackshit!