Voicetesting: In which Travis questions my choice in muses

[jerkitout]

Yeah, that's right. Your choice in characters has been seriously pissing me off lately. What do I mean? What the fuck do you think I mean? First off, you pick up every assassin and their grandmother but me. Then after you finally get rid of them all and pick up me you have the balls to leave her around? Have you gone insane? Bad Girl is batshit fucking psychotic! ...no pun intended.

...anyway, like I was saying before; get rid of her! I have to sleep in here, asswipe! I don't want some crazy bitch coming at me with a bat while I'm trying to catch some Zs!

[...]

Wait...WHAT?! You mean to tell me through those lazy-ass ellipses that you're actually apping HER to a game, but not ME?! What kinda fucked up shit is this?  No, you know what? Bullshit. I am not standing for this level of bullshittery. There's gotta be a place I can report your ass to! You know, I call up a hotline, tell them my story, then they go and get me a new player because you suck?

...no? ...nothing at all?

...

...well they should. Seriously, fuck you.

Comments

2/2

[overdosing]

What? Was I not filthy enough? Should I have gone on a tangent about being a lazy, arrogant child?

Bitte, tell me. Unlike you, I only strive for accuracy.

[jerkitout]

Lazy? I wouldn't call killing the top-ranked assassins in the country "lazy". I'd called that badass.

As for what you did wrong, you can't just throw "fuck" anywhere in a sentence, especially not multiple times, and expect it to work out. Swearing's a lot like an art form. A really messy art form that people get offended about.

[overdosing]

I would call that a Tuesday. You haven't been doing this for very long, have you?

Oh my goodness. How could I have lived this long in such darkness? Danke for showing me the light at long last, mein retter. To think there was an entire world of fine art I was missing out on all this time.

[jerkitout]

My player used to play your game all the fucking time, you know. I've seen you guys fight, not impressed.

And you're welcome. I'm always willing to help out the old and uncared for.

[overdosing]

Likewise. You and the rest of those "assassins" are all style and no substance. [a beat.] Maybe with the exception of that brother of yours.

And selfless, too! My, my. Quite the package deal.

[jerkitout]

Okay, I'm going to explain this to you in the simplest way I can, you ready? Yes? Good. No? Too bad.

Now, you're dissing us assassins. Bad Girl, the very bitch I was talking about, is an assassin. You said, basically, that it was wrong to talk shit about women. However, you just, technically, did it yourself. In addition, about half the assassins in my series are chicks.

So to wrap it up nicely, you made yourself look like a bigger douche than me. Now that is fucking impressive.

[overdosing]

Not even close. Saying you don't care for someone's fighting style is hardly the same as calling them every foul thing under the sun. Don't mistake my disinterest for complete and utter disrespect. That is your area of expertise, Herr. I would not want to take your crown away from you.

[jerkitout]

It's a pretty big fucking insult, especially considering it's also our job. Not that you'd know much about killing people who aren't strapped to a table, what with how you gotta follow that fat tub of lard around like his lost dog.

And considering how bad you suck at insulting me, you wouldn't be able to take the crown from me anyway.