The Life and Times of Scrooge McDuck is out of print ):

[wottagal]

Would you stop going on about that? I heard you loud and clear the first six hundred times. This is why I always say you take what you want, when you want it. Serves you right for waffling around like that.

Not that I see why you'd wanna read about that sorry old sop's life anyway, mind you. 'Course he probably had a lot of adventures, did a lotta stupid, brave stunts, had to beat impossible odds and rush headlong into dangers that woulda send most men screaming and he still came out on top every time...

[...]

Shut your trap. I don't want to read your Companion copy.

Comments

[shakespearealien]

What a shame. Such a read would have been of interest to me as well...

[wottagal]

[Looks him up and down critically. Eh, she's seen bigger guys. Gorthan's probably the purplest, though.]

Yeah? And why would a fella like you be interested in him?

[shakespearealien]

He is a very powerful and influential duck. Learning of his origins and how he was able to build his fortune would no doubt prove a fascinating experience.

[wottagal]

Well, I happen to know enough about him that you won't need the book to find out: he must've earned it by continuing to be a greedy cheapskate his whole life.

[And maybe there was something about honest hard work somewhere in there...]

[shakespearealien]

You cannot know for sure. He might have changed since the time you knew him.

[wottagal]

And still end up as filthy stinkin' rich as I hear he does? Just how would that work, tall purple and thoughtful?

[shakespearealien]

There is always more than one way to accomplish anything. But you have lived a tough life, have you not? Even so, it's something you should not forget.

[wottagal]

My life's none of your business, handsome. [All this understanding is wasted on her, Gorthan.] And there could be a hundred ways - I'll still believe it when I see it that he earned that fortune doing anything but obsessing over it.

Oh my goodness!

[number_one_dime]

Goldie?!

Right back at you!

[wottagal]

--Scrooge?! But you're... [significantly older than she remembers.]

pardon me, it's been a while.

[number_one_dime]

[And she's significantly younger then he expects her to be]

You - you haven't changed a bit.

[Scrooge is not quite sure how he wants to react]

That's okay. I'm not completely sure what I'm doing either.

[wottagal]

...I kinda figger it's me who should say you have. [What is even happening.]

[nosedive]

Sounds a lot like that dude had the same kinda life we Mighty Ducks have had since we came to this planet!

[wottagal]

Mighty Ducks? Kinda corny, but I guess it's eye-catching enough. [And pssh, Scrooge is the most unique duck in the world. She doesn't believe anyone could have a life that comes even close to his.] What's that about, "since we came to the planet"?

[nosedive]

Ehhh, it's the name our manager, Phil, chose for us when we started playing hockey in Anaheim. We all played hockey on Puckworld, anyhoo, so it was just natural to do it here.

We kinda got here through a dimensional porthole when we were fighting the Saurians (these big ugly lizard-type creeps) that took over our planet. Now they're trying to take over Earth, but we're keeping up with them in between games. We've had a lot of adventures here!

[femmefatalefowl]

My mundane just made a dying whale noise at that news. I assume that's not a good thing?

[dead serious, cause dying animals tend to be awesome.]

[wottagal]

I sure wouldn't go anywhere near anything that sounded like that, even if it were a good thing.

[femmefatalefowl]

I think she's upset about not getting those comics. I really don't see the big deal. If she really wants to read a handsome, adventurous duck, my sweetie is still in stock.

[wottagal]

If she's so upset, maybe your man doesn't measure up. [Goldie, don't be mean...] Not that I see the big deal either way - who'd wanna read about all that macho business regardless of the duck?

[femmefatalefowl]

[Twitch. But it's not nice to zap strangers.]

You don't think there's anything exciting about it either way?

[wottagal]

[Goldie probably deserves a zap or two, but Scrooge might disapprove.]

I get more than my share of excitement at the saloon - I really don't need it in my silly escapism as well. Readin' for pleasure's never been my thing anyway.

[femmefatalefowl]

But there's a huge difference here! It's reading about the man you love!

[wottagal]

Love?! Who told you something that ridiculous? He's the most impossibly stupid, stubborn idiot of a tightwad I've ever laid my eyes on!

[femmefatalefowl]

... Really?

... Because before you described him very positively...

[Smirk. Ah, denial, she's been there, honey.]