Because it's just too cracktastic not to

[widdle_widow]

....

What are we waiting for?

Cap says Bucky Bear is out there, and he needs us. It's time to pull on the big girl pants and go save the day!






(Warning, extreme cuteness ahead.)

Comments

[agentx13]

It's me, Sharon.

[And Natasha is just too cute for words. Sharon doesn't even like kids, but mini-Natasha...]

We're friends?

["We pretend to be prostitutes together sometimes?" No, that- that isn't right. She's pretty sure you don't tell a child-sized version of your friend that she's a fake prostitute sometimes.]

We work together.

Who- Did you lose Bucky?

[Bucky Bear? Sharon has never wanted a video camera in order to blackmail her friend more.]

[widdle_widow]

{A prosti-what? Well anyway, the name doesn't seem to strike a chord with her but she nods anyway.}

Friends? But...you're a growed up.

{Work? Lady you crazy, she's a toddler. Now the squinty eye is coming your way.}

No! I would never lose him! Those dumb-head, doodie-face X-Babies stoled him!

{And that made her lower lip tremble just a tiny bit}

[agentx13]

[... Doodie-face? How- How can Natasha be this adorable? How? And how can she never have mentioned it to Sharon? Of course, Natasha said "Doodie-face," and even now, Sharon is trying so hard not to laugh that her eyes are a little wet, so she might be able to see why Natasha - her Natasha - wouldn't say anything.]

Who do the X-Babies have helping them?

[widdle_widow]

They didn't need any help, they sneaked in while Cap was in the bath an took him! That's not fair! They don't play by the rules...so I'm not gonna either!

{And so begins a life of espionage.}

[agentx13]

[Sharon nods sagely.]

Good idea. Do you have a plan?

[She can't believe Natasha started making trouble at such a young age. Oh, wait. No. Never mind. She can believe it. This is Natasha they're talking about, after all.]

[widdle_widow]

{Sigh, why does everyone always ask her?}

Well the boys will go in and start a fight, and while they have the X-dummies distracted I'll grab Bucky Bear and escape. Then I give the signal and we regroup at Cap's.

[agentx13]

Good plan.

[Wait.]

The boys? Who're the boys?

[widdle_widow]

{Oh the exasperation of a child. A deep breath and a sigh and she counts them off on her fingers as she names them.}

Cap, Hawkeye, Hulky, and...Ironbutt.

[agentx13]

[She'd laugh at the Ironbutt, but the mention of Cap stops her.]

Does Cap have his shield? [She can't believe it. That idiot. Either he gets himself killed or child-sized. He can never have a normal day, can he?]

[widdle_widow]

Yes, he always has it.


Except when he throws it.

[agentx13]

Okay. That's good.

[Except for how Sharon has no clue what's going on anymore. Her friends have been babified. How?]

Do you want a grown-up to help you?

[widdle_widow]

{And you get all the weird looks}

Why would we need a growed up?

[agentx13]

To keep them from coming after you? I could put them in time out.

[Or something. She remembers time out being a thing, though. And something about getting other people to watch after the kids. Sharon is mostly familiar with the latter, though.]

[widdle_widow]

{She giggled, that really seemed to tickle her.

Noooooo they come after us and I'll kick kick their butts again.

[agentx13]

[Sharon manages a slight grin despite herself.]

That sounds a lot like the Natasha I know.

[widdle_widow]

{She just shrugs a little because really...what other way would you do it?}

[agentx13]

Okay. I guess I'll go let you kick butt. Should I get some band-aids on hand for the boys?

[widdle_widow]

Hmm, maybe. They are always getting scrapes. They don't know how to sneak in and out like me!

I'm the only one who can get into the cookie jar!

[agentx13]

I think I'll be putting a lock on that cookie jar. Though I'm not surprised you're better than the boys.

... I'm going to need pictures of you, later, okay?

[Not creepy at all, Sharon.]

To show my friend Natasha. Big Natasha.

[widdle_widow]

No! Then it'll be harder to get the cookies out!

Pictures? Ok! That sounds fun!

....some people call me Natasha, sometimes.

[agentx13]

Yeah, but you'll have even more to brag about when you finally get the cookies.

What do they call you now?

[widdle_widow]

Just Nat or Widow, usually.

[agentx13]

People call my friend Nat sometimes. Or Widow. Or Black Widow. Or Red.

But yeah, you look more like a Nat than she does.

[widdle_widow]

That's a lotta names, how does she remember them all?

[agentx13]

She's not a very good spy. She has to write all her names on the palm of her hand.

[She hopes this isn't a miniaturized version of her Natasha. Or that, if it is, Natasha doesn't remember this when she grows up.]