Zachary Fair (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
weallfalldown) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
dear_mun2012-10-12 01:53 pm
weallfalldown) wrote in dear_mun2012-10-12 01:53 pm
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You know, I'm really glad you're waiting a few months before you get me into the dating scene because I gotta say, as I am now? I'm not up for it.
Sure, I'll wink and smile and play it up, but that's just me. It doesn't mean too much, it's the usual flirty ole me, you know? If I don't, it'd be obvious, and I don't need Angeal asking me if I'm okay all the time. He's got enough to deal with. But the longer I'm there, the longer I think about it and the more you learn director? I think it's becoming more clear that I'm not ready for that. Every time I even think about her, there is always that question of why didn't I call her? Sure, I was on the run, but hell, I already knew the Turks were on my trail. It wouldn't have hurt me much. Just one little phone call. Cissnei was on my side...I could have...I should have.
I know I shouldn't sit around, crying over all those past mistakes. That's not like me, but damn is it hard not to. I got over some of it, but this seems to be the hardest. Or one of them.
Just, promise me I won't go on the network talking about her like that. It's not that I'm embarrassed...just, ashamed. I made her my goal when I should have made her first priority instead. And I have this sinking feeling that I'm never going to get over it. Maybe, come December or January...if she doesn't show up?
I can take his hand and we can walk that road to recovery together. Maybe.
Sure, I'll wink and smile and play it up, but that's just me. It doesn't mean too much, it's the usual flirty ole me, you know? If I don't, it'd be obvious, and I don't need Angeal asking me if I'm okay all the time. He's got enough to deal with. But the longer I'm there, the longer I think about it and the more you learn director? I think it's becoming more clear that I'm not ready for that. Every time I even think about her, there is always that question of why didn't I call her? Sure, I was on the run, but hell, I already knew the Turks were on my trail. It wouldn't have hurt me much. Just one little phone call. Cissnei was on my side...I could have...I should have.
I know I shouldn't sit around, crying over all those past mistakes. That's not like me, but damn is it hard not to. I got over some of it, but this seems to be the hardest. Or one of them.
Just, promise me I won't go on the network talking about her like that. It's not that I'm embarrassed...just, ashamed. I made her my goal when I should have made her first priority instead. And I have this sinking feeling that I'm never going to get over it. Maybe, come December or January...if she doesn't show up?
I can take his hand and we can walk that road to recovery together. Maybe.
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Man, what I'd give to see that. Did he have make up on too? Or, I guess he wouldn't need much of it.
He's got a pretty face.
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[Leans in close, hand cupping her mouth like she's hiding a secret.] He got a Honeybee girl to do it!
[Let's hope there's no Clouds around to explode in embarrassment as she spills all his secrets.]
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Do I even want to know why?