dear_mun | (no subject)

You know, I'm really glad you're waiting a few months before you get me into the dating scene because I gotta say, as I am now? I'm not up for it.

Sure, I'll wink and smile and play it up, but that's just me. It doesn't mean too much, it's the usual flirty ole me, you know? If I don't, it'd be obvious, and I don't need Angeal asking me if I'm okay all the time. He's got enough to deal with. But the longer I'm there, the longer I think about it and the more you learn director? I think it's becoming more clear that I'm not ready for that. Every time I even think about her, there is always that question of why didn't I call her? Sure, I was on the run, but hell, I already knew the Turks were on my trail. It wouldn't have hurt me much. Just one little phone call. Cissnei was on my side...I could have...I should have.

I know I shouldn't sit around, crying over all those past mistakes. That's not like me, but damn is it hard not to. I got over some of it, but this seems to be the hardest. Or one of them.

Just, promise me I won't go on the network talking about her like that. It's not that I'm embarrassed...just, ashamed. I made her my goal when I should have made her first priority instead. And I have this sinking feeling that I'm never going to get over it. Maybe, come December or January...if she doesn't show up?

I can take his hand and we can walk that road to recovery together. Maybe.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[He can't help but freeze up at first, INSTINCT. Trapped. Of course he was aware that wasn't quite what was really happening but once he was tugged forward and felt the (honestly- warm, comforting) weight of Zack's arms around him he momentarily lost all ability to do much more than stand there looking like ~~a chocobo trapped in flare~~ a deer in the headlights.

But just as quickly it passed and he returned the affectionate gesture. Been far too long... maybe they hadn't been the type to go around all HUGGING AND SHIT before but now- now it was okay. Because it was Zack. Because they were friends. Because they were family.

At least until there was a hand rubbing haphazardly over his head, then the frantic flailing and squirming started up.]

Damnit, Zack.

[THIS IS WHY WE CAN'T HAVE NICE THINGS. He's never falling for this trap again.]

[See, it was nice while it lasted. Except for Zack really isn't done since the last time he got to give any sort of friendly gesture, you were all doe eyed and mako-poisoned. And so instead of letting Cloud go, he stops messing with the hair and puts that other arm around him.

Even with the wiggling and struggling, he keeps a decent hold on him, patting his back again.] Calm down, I won't do it again. It was just really tempting.

I'll even let you mess with mine if you want some good old revenge. [And that's saying a lot. No one gets to touch the hair usually. So feel special.]

[Once his hair is left alone Cloud calms down. Somewhat. He's still on edge though, waiting for another attack.

The offer to mess up Zack's hair is tempting but... just not something he does. To anyone over the age of 10 anyway. So he just kind of stands there, quietly.

(It's tempting too to just never let go, as if that childish wish could make everything that's happened not matter anymore and Zack would stay.)]

...Revenge is better if you don't expect it.

[He will get you back son. Just not right now.]

Hoooboy...You've grown a bit haven't you? [He didn't really notice when they had sprung out since Cloud hadn't exactly been walking around. More like slung over his shoulder. But, he is taller. And definitely filled out since his Cadet days.

But it's kind of nice to know that he's grown into himself rather than being the shy and eager blonde he had first met. And to hug him like this, that he actually doesn't mind means a lot. He gets that you like your personal space Cloud, but you have to admit it feels good to just be there, knowing that for right now nothing is being ruined, or needs their attention immediately.

He can just soak in that bromance. Kind of a nice feeling.]

Hey, I hear you on that one. I guess I'll just have to keep my guard down for a while and maybe you can sneak that in somewhere.