dear_mun | (no subject)

You know, I'm really glad you're waiting a few months before you get me into the dating scene because I gotta say, as I am now? I'm not up for it.

Sure, I'll wink and smile and play it up, but that's just me. It doesn't mean too much, it's the usual flirty ole me, you know? If I don't, it'd be obvious, and I don't need Angeal asking me if I'm okay all the time. He's got enough to deal with. But the longer I'm there, the longer I think about it and the more you learn director? I think it's becoming more clear that I'm not ready for that. Every time I even think about her, there is always that question of why didn't I call her? Sure, I was on the run, but hell, I already knew the Turks were on my trail. It wouldn't have hurt me much. Just one little phone call. Cissnei was on my side...I could have...I should have.

I know I shouldn't sit around, crying over all those past mistakes. That's not like me, but damn is it hard not to. I got over some of it, but this seems to be the hardest. Or one of them.

Just, promise me I won't go on the network talking about her like that. It's not that I'm embarrassed...just, ashamed. I made her my goal when I should have made her first priority instead. And I have this sinking feeling that I'm never going to get over it. Maybe, come December or January...if she doesn't show up?

I can take his hand and we can walk that road to recovery together. Maybe.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I actually have no idea what that'd be like. But I'll take your word for it. In the extremely unlikely event that someone ever writes me like eighty letters in four years I'll take the first chance I get to call 'em. Good deed done in retrospect, wisdom passed on - I've heard that sometimes makes things better?

I'd say that I like you just fine, but I'm not the best judge of character so that might not help.

Well, at least I know you won't make my same mistake. [That gets him to smile, just a little bit.]

Hey, I like you just fine too, so it'd mean something to me at least.

That just means that you've got questionable taste in unpeople, too.

I don't have questionable taste. I'd like to say my taste is rather attuned to finding good people. Or you know, the good in people.

Maybe people, but I'm not really a person.

I'm not sweating the fine details, man.

You're a good whatever, in my book.