(no subject)

[shaves]

Okay. No, okay, I can work with this. Whatever you've got planned when you actually plan it, I mean, which could take — what? How long? Whatever, all I want right now is a cheeseburger and for you to cool your jets just enough not to give yourself a migraine because you're as excitable as JARVIS with a new firewall to hack and I'm hungry, which is obviously the more important theme that we need to deal with. Look, I'm here. I'll take care of stuff. Check this out, right now, I'm leveling with you.

Relax, skippy.

You are so lucky to have me. I'm basically your Pepper, only more rugged and less inclined to ... wear booty short-shorts. Scrap that. Who am I kidding? You can't handle imagery of me in trunks, no one can. Although it's true hers get a lot tighter around the. General rear area. Yeah, this got derailed so fast and I'm not even sorry, can I get a sign saying I tap that? 

Where can a guy in metaland get his caffeine in-take around here? First one to pony up gets a blueberry.

Comments

[shaves]

To a game? You want to join in with them, too? I can do that.

[dated]

[ WHAT. DREAM COME TRUE--

wait. ]

That's - not necessary. [ stop abusing your money/power, tony! ] It was hypothetical, anyway.

[shaves]

[ hahahaHAHAHA that is his life. ]

Elocution lessons. Most words in five seconds wins. You get your box seats after a day of hanging out with a team of your choice and if I win ...

[dated]

[ he stays quiet. not because he wants to know or anything.

and definitely not because he might actually be considering this... rap battle between captain america and iron man? what is this workd coming to... ]

[shaves]

[ Holy shit a rap battle. ]

I get your shield for a weekend.

[dated]

--no. No way. [ WHO KNOWS WHAT HELL YOU'LL CAUSE WITH IT. ]

[shaves]

I'm not going to hurt the little critter, I just want to take a closer look. Scan it. Maybe use it as a gaudy vintage coaster. It'll be fine.

[dated]

[ squinting. ]

...with supervision.

[shaves]

Pepper'll be floating around, sure, don't worry so much.

[dated]

No. My shield, my eyes.

[shaves]

What are you going to do at my house all weekend? DJ?

[dated]

Hover.

[ also check out your hd tvs...

but hey - doesn't winning sound less appealing now? :) ]

I feel the need to interject

[bromachine]

Tony no.

you WOULD

[shaves]

Yes. Yes, yes, yes. Can't stop, won't stop.

[bromachine]

You are not getting into a rap battle with Captain America and you are not taking his shield. That's a national icon, Tony!

[shaves]

It would make a great vintage coaster.

I mean, I already said that but. It bears repeating.

[bromachine]

National icon. Washington would have your head.

[shaves]

Oops.

[bromachine]

No, no 'oops'. Your group of superhero buddies will not save you from the fallout, Tony. I can't.

oh hello...

[dated]

[ dammit. it's one thing to listen to your gut - it's something else entirely to have a consensus. ]

I'm getting the feeling saying yes to Tony Stark is never a good idea.

hi!

[bromachine]

Take it from the man who's known him almost as long as Pepper: never say yes to Tony Stark.

[dated]

[ sighs. he feels a headache coming on. ]

This is all purely hypothetical anyway.

[bromachine]

Nothing with Tony is hypothetical. He'll make it happen.

[dated]

Have a little faith. I'm just humoring the guy.

[shaves]

This is a cute conversation. A little delusional, but.