fiftyfirsthates: (pic#4914436)
Karkat Vantas ([personal profile] fiftyfirsthates) wrote in [community profile] dear_mun2012-10-04 11:33 pm
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I don't know what I'm doing

YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING?
OH YEAH, THAT'S REALLY REASSURING.
IN FACT, I FEEL HONORED TO BE PLAYED BY YOU. IT'S REALLY GREAT, REAL FUCKING GREAT.
HERE, LET ME GIVE YOU A CERTIFICATE TO PROVE IT.
"I'M SO GLAD YOU'RE HERE TO BUTCHER MY CHARACTER AND TORTURE ME FOR YOUR AMUSEMENT.
FUCK YOU."
SIGNED,
"KARKAT VANTAS"

LOOK, I KNOW YOU'RE USED TO ORDERING AROUND THAT SWEATY HORSE-BULGE LOVING IDIOT, SO LET'S GET SOMETHING STRAIGHT RIGHT FROM THE BEGINNING.
I DO NOT TAKE ORDERS. I GIVE THEM. OR AT LEAST I USED TO.
FOR ALL INTENTS AND PURPOSES, LET'S JUST SAY THAT I AM DEFINITELY THE ONLY ONE GIVING ORDERS AROUND HERE.
DO YOU UNDERSTAND THAT? WAIT, LET ME HERE IT STRAIGHT FROM YOUR CHUTE: "I WILL NOT GIVE KARKAT ORDERS."

[Sing "I'm a Little Teapot"!]

ALRIGHT, OBVIOUSLY YOU DIDN'T GET IT THROUGH YOUR THINKPAN THE FIRST TIME SO I'M JUST GOING TO REITERATE THAT I'M A LITTLE TEAPOT SHORT AND STOUT
OH FUCK.

I HATE YOU SO MUCH ALREADY.
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[personal profile] bigusdickus 2012-10-05 04:58 am (UTC)(link)
[ He can't help but laugh. ]
Edited 2012-10-05 04:58 (UTC)
fiftyfirsthates: (pic#4914433)

lemme know if troll text is not your thing! ^^

[personal profile] fiftyfirsthates 2012-10-05 05:01 am (UTC)(link)
WHAT ARE YOU LAUGHING AT? I DON'T SEE ANYTHING FUNNY HERE.

I've tagged hamsteaks before. It's cool!

[personal profile] bigusdickus 2012-10-05 05:06 am (UTC)(link)
Do you hear yourself? It's pretty funny to me!
fiftyfirsthates: (pic#4914439)

[personal profile] fiftyfirsthates 2012-10-05 05:14 am (UTC)(link)
NO, I MADE SURE NOT TO HEAR MYSELF IN ANY OF THAT.
BUT I'M SURE MY FUTURE SELF WILL COME BACK TO LISTEN AND BITCH AT ME ABOUT IT LIKE THE SMUG ASSHOLE HE IS.

[personal profile] bigusdickus 2012-10-05 05:17 am (UTC)(link)
So you're a smug asshole?
fiftyfirsthates: (pic#4914466)

[personal profile] fiftyfirsthates 2012-10-05 05:18 am (UTC)(link)
NO, I AM NOT. I AM THE LEAST SMUG AND ASSHOLE-ISH OF ALL POSSIBLE KARKATS.
DON'T YOU KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT TIME FLOW AND TIME SHENANIGANS?

[personal profile] bigusdickus 2012-10-05 05:31 am (UTC)(link)
I know a bit, and I'm not in the neighborhood of learning more anytime soon.
fiftyfirsthates: (pic#4914433)

[personal profile] fiftyfirsthates 2012-10-05 05:36 am (UTC)(link)
GOOD. THE COMPLEXITY OF IT ALL WOULD PROBABLY JUST ROT YOUR THINKPAN.

[personal profile] bigusdickus 2012-10-05 06:34 am (UTC)(link)
What the hell's a 'thinkpan'?
fiftyfirsthates: (pic#4914439)

[personal profile] fiftyfirsthates 2012-10-05 04:57 pm (UTC)(link)
OH RIGHT I FORGOT.
YOU HUMANS DON'T USE NORMAL WORDS, YOU USE WEIRD THINGS LIKE "BRAIN."
WHICH IS PRETTY CLOSE TO BLUEBLOODED VERNACULAR.
TO YOU THAT MEANS IT MAKES YOU SOUND LIKE A HUGE TOOL.

[personal profile] bigusdickus 2012-10-05 07:39 pm (UTC)(link)
In what universe is the word "brain" weird?! And why is some midget with horns calling me a tool?!
fiftyfirsthates: (pic#4914459)

[personal profile] fiftyfirsthates 2012-10-07 06:22 am (UTC)(link)
IT'S WEIRD IN EVERY CONCEIVABLE UNIVERSE BUT YOURS.
AND I AM NOT A MIDGET. I AM A PERFECTLY NORMAL HEIGHT FOR MY AGE.
airquotes: ([john] i got it covered dont you fret)

[personal profile] airquotes 2012-10-05 05:04 am (UTC)(link)
[Hey. He likes your mun. Be nice.]

sup krabble
fiftyfirsthates: (pic#4914459)

[personal profile] fiftyfirsthates 2012-10-05 05:08 am (UTC)(link)
OH MY GOD.
IT'S LIKE THIS POST WAS A MATING CALL FOR NOOKSNIFFERS.
Edited 2012-10-05 05:08 (UTC)
biwinning: (On a rocket ship to the moon sometimes.)

[personal profile] biwinning 2012-10-05 05:04 am (UTC)(link)
well the 2hort part ii2 riight.
fiftyfirsthates: (pic#4914433)

[personal profile] fiftyfirsthates 2012-10-05 05:11 am (UTC)(link)
GOOD TRY BUT WRONG.
I AM NOT SHORT AND NONE OF THAT WAS IN ANY WAY RIGHT.
YOU DON'T WIN THE MILLION BOONBUCKS.

[Someone's in denial.]
biwinning: (ii aiin't even mad.)

[personal profile] biwinning 2012-10-05 12:02 pm (UTC)(link)
you're 2horter than me.
therefore you're 2hort.
fiftyfirsthates: (pic#4914459)

[personal profile] fiftyfirsthates 2012-10-05 05:00 pm (UTC)(link)
IT'S A MINUSCULE HEIGHT DIFFERENCE, IT HARDLY MEANS ANYTHING.
ONE DAY I MIGHT BE TALLER THAN ALL OF YOU, AND YOU'LL RUE THE DAY YOU MADE FUN OF MY HEIGHT AS I CRUSH YOU UNDER MY FEET.
biwinning: (I've been a veteran of the unspeakable.)

[personal profile] biwinning 2012-10-05 05:04 pm (UTC)(link)
miinu2cule??
what kiind of 2opor are you eatiing.
ii'm at lea2t a foot taller than you dude.
fiftyfirsthates: (pic#4914439)

[personal profile] fiftyfirsthates 2012-10-07 06:23 am (UTC)(link)
THOSE ARE JUST DETAILS.
LIKE I SAID, BIG FEET AND SQUASHING.
biwinning: (On a quest to claim absolute victory.)

NOT LATE

[personal profile] biwinning 2012-10-12 05:33 am (UTC)(link)
yeah no.
smells_to_see: (Hah)

[personal profile] smells_to_see 2012-10-05 05:07 am (UTC)(link)
[Excuse her Karkat, this distinctly human-looking Terezi has to laugh. She's nearly falling over with laughter in fact.]
fiftyfirsthates: (pic#4914439)

[personal profile] fiftyfirsthates 2012-10-05 05:12 am (UTC)(link)
[Damn, girl. When'd you get so pink and human-y?]

TEREZI?
WHAT THE FUCK.
smells_to_see: (Hmm)

[personal profile] smells_to_see 2012-10-05 06:42 pm (UTC)(link)
H3Y K4RK4T N1CE TO KNOW YOUR3 H3R3

[She sniffs the air.]

H3Y W41T

[No version of Terezi seems to have an idea of personal space and Terezi is no exception. She gets close to Karkat and sniffs him.]

YOU SM3LL 4LOT L1K3 K4RK4T BUT NOT 3X4CTLY

[She points and accusing finger. Given their closeness Karkat might be able to note there was a burn across her eyes.]

WHO 4R3 YOU?!
fiftyfirsthates: (pic#4914499)

[personal profile] fiftyfirsthates 2012-10-07 06:26 am (UTC)(link)
[Man, he hates when she does that. Okay, so maybe he doesn't hate it THAT much...]

I AM KARKAT, TEREZI, IF THAT IS YOUR REAL NAME.
HOW THE HELL ARE YOU HUMAN AND WHY DON'T YOUR RECOGNIZE ME?
synesthesic: (are you serious?)

[personal profile] synesthesic 2012-10-05 05:37 am (UTC)(link)
1 L1K3 YOUR MUN 4LR3DY
>:]
fiftyfirsthates: (pic#4914436)

[personal profile] fiftyfirsthates 2012-10-05 05:40 am (UTC)(link)
OF COURSE YOU DO. IT'S BECAUSE YOU AND SHE HAVE THE SAME FUCKED UP GOALS IN LIFE.
THOSE GOALS BEING ANNOY AND HUMILIATE KARKAT AT EVERY TURN, OF COURSE.
synesthesic: (>:/ yeah whatever)

[personal profile] synesthesic 2012-10-05 05:42 am (UTC)(link)
TO BOTH OUR CR3D1TS
YOU DO TH4T PR3TTY W3LL ON YOUR OWN
fiftyfirsthates: (facepalm)

[personal profile] fiftyfirsthates 2012-10-05 05:48 am (UTC)(link)
WHETHER OR NOT I DO IS NOT ON THE TABLE FOR DISCUSSION.
AND ANYWAY I WAS DOING JUST FINE UNTIL SHE INTERVENED.
synesthesic: (alligator cackle)

[personal profile] synesthesic 2012-10-05 05:50 am (UTC)(link)
YES YOU W3R3 R1GHT 1N TH3 M1DDL3 OF SOM3TH1NG
1M 1NT3R3ST3D TO H34R HOW TH3 R3ST OF THE SONG GO3S
fiftyfirsthates: (pic#4914433)

[personal profile] fiftyfirsthates 2012-10-05 06:04 am (UTC)(link)
YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO KEEP ON HOPING BECAUSE THERE'S NO WAY I'M EVER, EVER, EVER SINGING THE REST.
IT WILL NEVER GRACE YOUR AURICULAR SPONGES.
honkism: (pic#4844381)

[personal profile] honkism 2012-10-05 02:39 pm (UTC)(link)
[


haha oh wow. sup kankri look-alike-- in this case, a mime could put forth his motherfuckin' peace and toleration, simply smiling. just smiling a stitched smile sealed and quirked with an eerie mirth.

just kind of. there. holding a hand up in silent greeting.

what's sizzling you heretic cancerous motherfucker you. ]
Edited 2012-10-05 14:54 (UTC)
fiftyfirsthates: (pic#4914466)

[personal profile] fiftyfirsthates 2012-10-05 05:06 pm (UTC)(link)
[Oh fuck it's you. Why do Makaras have to be so creepy in general?]

I'M GUESSING YOU'RE HERE TO LEAVE MOCKING GIFS AT MY EXPENSE OR SOMETHING.
fiftyfirsthates: (pic#4914433)

[personal profile] fiftyfirsthates 2012-10-07 06:28 am (UTC)(link)
WELL.
THAT'S BETTER THAN I EXPECTED.
honkism: (pic#4844377)

[personal profile] honkism 2012-10-07 11:37 am (UTC)(link)
[ how can you "expect" from a capricious brother, homes? you should know them makaras by now! ( or not know them, honk ).

by going about various signs, and pointing, he imitates the movements of

little

tea

pot

honk ]


fiftyfirsthates: (pic#4914439)

[personal profile] fiftyfirsthates 2012-10-07 11:06 pm (UTC)(link)
ONE DAY, YOUR MUN IS GOING TO MAKE YOU DO SOMETHING HORRIBLY EMBARRASSING AND I HOPE SOMEONE IS THERE TO RUB YOUR NOSE IN IT.
caligulas_aquarium: (Default)

[personal profile] caligulas_aquarium 2012-10-05 04:56 pm (UTC)(link)
wwoww
uh
sure looks like you got yourself a wwinner there kar
fiftyfirsthates: (pic#4914433)

[personal profile] fiftyfirsthates 2012-10-05 05:09 pm (UTC)(link)
SHE IS DEFINITELY THE WINNER, IF THE COMPETITION IS "WHO CAN BE THE BIGGEST BULGELICKING BITCH THIS SIDE OF PARADOX SPACE."
IF THAT'S THE COMPETITION THEN SHE WINS HANDS DOWN.
I DON'T EVEN THINK VRISKA CAN BEAT HER NOW.
Edited (grammar derp) 2012-10-05 17:10 (UTC)
hearnoevil: (8)

[personal profile] hearnoevil 2012-10-06 12:36 pm (UTC)(link)
[Also here to giggle at you. What a lovely Mun]
fiftyfirsthates: (facepalm)

[personal profile] fiftyfirsthates 2012-10-07 06:30 am (UTC)(link)
OH GOD, EVEN THE SHIPPER CAT GIRLS ARE LAUGHING AT ME.
superheirstyle: (Default)

[personal profile] superheirstyle 2012-10-07 11:03 pm (UTC)(link)
Then you are firmly under their control, I take it?

How depressing.
fiftyfirsthates: (pic#4914433)

[personal profile] fiftyfirsthates 2012-10-07 11:12 pm (UTC)(link)
NO, OF COURSE NOT.
THE ONLY ONE FIRMLY IN CONTROL OF ME IS ME.
THIS IS AN ISOLATED INCIDENT. NEXT TIME I'LL BE READY.
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