Possible new journal name?

[brujah_barkeep]

Okay, forgetting what a righteous pain in the ass you've been about not sending me somewhere, for a minute, I gotta say, you may actually be right about something.

I know. Miracles happen, huh?

But yeah. Don't think this journal name is really doing it for me. I mean, my bar's gone. It was sucked down to hell with my good boots and my shot glass collection and that Red Hot Chili Peppers CD. Don't think you can really define me as a "bartender" any more, ya know?

So let's think this one over, kay? Maybe a better journal name is the kick in the ass you need to actually send me somewhere.

Comments

[hasperkynipples]

In my experience, vamps side with whoever is highest on the food chain.

[brujah_barkeep]

Well, yeah. If they're stupid.

Lemme drop a knowledge bomb on you; smart vampires side with humans. After all, what good is a food chain without 'em?

[hasperkynipples]

I've met the alpha vamp. He doesn't really think that much of us.

[brujah_barkeep]

You're shitting me. You've met Caine?

[hasperkynipples]

[pauses for a moment as he thinks]

That wasn't his name.

[brujah_barkeep]

Well, sure it is. That's why they call vampires Cainites. That's where that comes from.

You just messin' with me, Perky?

[hasperkynipples]

Last I checked they called vampires -- vampires.

[brujah_barkeep]

Must be another one of those "different worlds" thingies. Or maybe "Cainite" is old fashioned.

I'm outta the loop. What with being in hell and all.

[hasperkynipples]

[ponders this for a moment]

... By Caine, do you mean Caine and Abel?

[brujah_barkeep]

The one and only.

Well.

Two and only, I guess.

[hasperkynipples]

It's a different worlds thing.

[He is 98.9% sure of that.]

[brujah_barkeep]

[Shrug. She gives no fucks about Caine and Abel, except when it comes to running away from 'em.]

So what's Big Daddy Vampire like in yours?

I'm guessing...unpleasant.

[hasperkynipples]

Unpleasant is the polite term.

[brujah_barkeep]

Well, I mind my fucking manners.

[hasperkynipples]

All the alphas are pretty big dicks. They're too old to be scared of anything, even the things they really should.

[brujah_barkeep]

Well, that's a problem that extends to pretty much all old things.

[hasperkynipples]

So you're saying the older you get, the stupider you get?

[brujah_barkeep]

Cockier is probably a better word.

Most Cainites are cocky little shits.

Although some of 'em have earned it.

I don't know what the werewolves' excuse is.

[hasperkynipples]

Cocky little shit is usually when you don't know any better. It's pretty safe to assume that these guys do.

[brujah_barkeep]

Yeah, you know what happens when you assume, Perky.

You make an ass of yourself.

[hasperkynipples]

All the shit I've seen? I think I know how the shots are called.

[brujah_barkeep]

Oh yeah?

So you're saying if you met a vamp, you'd know it and know what to do?

[hasperkynipples]

Yup. You take a little off the top.

[and by that he means their head. He'll illustrate with a nice slicing motion across his throat.]

[brujah_barkeep]

Okay. And how do you tell if someone's a vampire? Garlic? Crosses? A cape that's black on the outside and red on the inside?

An obsession with chocolate cereal?

[hasperkynipples]

[eyeroll]

You check the teeth.