[Canon is the SCP Foundation. For Ink City's 4th Wall Event.] Commencing epic fail in 3...

[amajorchord]

So you're asking yourself: "What the fuck am I doing?" Which is the multimillion dollar question here. But whatever it is, the answer is no.

Honestly, you should have something better to do with your time than Photoshop a third eye onto a man who looks nothing like me for an event that's a month away.

[It sounds bad when you say it like that. Besides, it's your fault for having three eyes in the first place.]

Hey. Don't hate me because I have dubious properties attributed to myself.

Comments

lkzjdfkhsadnfk CLEF somebody get Kondraki in here

[nagant]

Third eyes ain't that weird, all things considered. It could always be worse.

Neck snapping all over this place!

[amajorchord]

Apparently, you haven't seen me painted like a French girl.

As long as he doesn't claim to be Satan again...

[nagant]

... [That earns a full-body shudder of revulsion.] Ugh. Pass.

Does quoting the Rolling Stones count?

[amajorchord]

I had a feeling that would be your reaction.

"Pleased to meet you..."

[nagant]

Smart man. Either that, or you're a psycher. -Means mind-reader.

"I'm a man of wealth and taste~"

[amajorchord]

How'd you know? Oh, next you're going to guess how I grew up in the wilds of Russia and survived the end of World War II by lying about my age and working in the concentration camps before illegally immigrating to England.

Aah, great, now that's gonna be stuck in my head all night.

[nagant]

The hells is a "Russia"? And if you fought in some giant war, you look free of bullet holes. And scars. Sorry, I ain't buying it.

OH MY GOD A CLEF. /ultimate SCP fanboy

[ponyoftime]

Uh... do you mind, er, explaining to me why my mun has suddenly started freaking out at the prospect of your arrival?

[amajorchord]

My incredible wit and ability to be genre-savvy would be my first guess.

[ponyoftime]

That might be it. Might just be it...

Just, ah, he requests that you don't bring in any... what did he call it, "Keter-class baggage" on your way in.

[amajorchord]

Damn, I just lost some entertainment.

Although from what I hear, a good amount of people would do well to get a visit from... say, 682.

[anonasu]

[Shoving the pony aside.]

Ahem. Well. As true as that might be, it's still probably not a good idea to put 682 into a pocket dimension with... no... escape...

Uh, hm. Y'know what, that might not actually be a bad idea.

[amajorchord]

It'd certainly get him out of our hair.

[caesarcipher]

I must say, I find your organization quite fascinating.

Seeking out so much supernatural phenomena and keeping it all secret from the world...

The Illuminati would be proud.

[amajorchord]

It'd be a lot more effective if everyone didn't know about it. Someone really dropped the ball on security somewhere.

[caesarcipher]

Perhaps, but all those who know become secret keepers themselves. Lest risk confiding in those unable to handle the truth.

Such is the burden, and the honor, of the enlightened.

[amajorchord]

Yes, but it's our job to keep people from being "enlightened" lest the world crumbles into chaos and ends.

Basically, keeping that incident from last Tuesday from happening again.

[caesarcipher]

Certainly! Not everyone can be made aware, as I said.
Though those who are serve a very important purpose.

More than just protecting the stability of human society.

[amajorchord]

Hmm. Not to mention the survival of human society.

[Thinking not-so-fondly of you, SCP-1548.]

[wondertainment]

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I love you.

[amajorchord]

Oh, for the love of -- SCP Foundation scientists are not Wondertainment property!

...May contain nuts?

8)

[wondertainment]

Litigiousness not included!


Disclaimer: Not for people who clearly hate fun.

Re: 8)

[amajorchord]

Someone's gotta play sane man here and there. I can be litigious with the best of 'em.

[wondertainment]

If you call the number on the bottom of your screen now, Dr. [REDACTED]® comes with a set of free swappable eyeballs!



Compatible with Dr. Wondertainment's Young Surgeon's Transplant Kit!


Disclaimer: Good luck pinning down a permanent address to which you can deliver the papers.

[amajorchord]

[Yeah nope, he is totally marking this as something to report back for.]

How the hell this got out from under our noses is beyond me.