the most tentative of voicetests

[missionbegins]

Oh yes, good work, Ms. Mun. I mean it. Are you proud of yourself, being my mouthpiece to this ridiculous website? You're like Miss Pauling, but less useful. After all, do you really expect me to be put in one of those dreadful games everyone goes on about? I don't have time for that, I've got work to do. And even if I did have the time (which I don't -- I've already used my annual vacation, and those damnable squirrels didn't even reach full rebellion against my arbitrarily installed squirrel leaders), I still wouldn't let you entertain the thought. So what, exactly, is the point of this exercise in failure?

You're such a disappointment.

Comments

[hasstandards]

Now here's a face I never thought I'd see around here.

[missionbegins]

Do try to contain the overwhelming excitement I'm sure you must feel.

[hasstandards]

Right. Loads of excitement.

[missionbegins]

As much as I'm sure you truly missed me, I can't help but hear a grievance in your tone.

[hasstandards]

No grievances here, miss.

[Just the mildly annoyed tone of a man who thought there was finally a place they wouldn't have to listen to you going on and on over an intercom.]

I don't expect that now you're here that you're gonna put us to work, are you?

[overdosing]

...Well. Isn't this a pleasant surprise.

[missionbegins]

I'm sure you've missed me, Doctor.

[overdosing]

Not as much as I have missed your checks.

[missionbegins]

As hands-on as I prefer to be with my employees, I don't personally sign and deliver your checks, you know. Perhaps you should contact payroll.

[overdosing]

And wait weeks upon weeks for a response? Bitte. And you call us incompetent.

[ragdolls]

[ beep boop bop wait this isn't one of the mercenaries ]

UNIDENTIFIED HUMAN. UPDATE NECESSARY [ beep beep beep ] DATA UPLOADING IN PROGRESS —

[missionbegins]

[She just… watches. With disdain. Maybe it'll crash permanently.]

asdfghjkl! The smile on my face right now.

[yesadministrator]

Well- um, t- there isn't really much of a choice I'm afraid...

[missionbegins]

Don't be ridiculous. Your mundane isn't me, Miss Pauling.

[yesadministrator]

No. Of course not...

[She's just standing around, a little nervous; she's... not seen you in a very long time, and... well, you don't seem very happy.

She looks like she's about to say something maybe, but she's just fidgeting with her clipboard.]

[missionbegins]

[The Administrator will let this awkward, tension-filled moment drag out for just a beat or two, to see if it'll subside. When it doesn't, she snaps a little.]

What do you have to say?

[yesadministrator]

Oh!

[She snaps into speaking, jolted by her boss.]

I was just wondering... how you're going to get home? They tend to send us to games, which can be alright- not preferable though, totally not.

[sentryslinger]

A lot of mundanes find it alleviates some of our boredom to let us out every now and then, ma'am.

[missionbegins]

Who said anything about me being bored?

[sentryslinger]

Well, I didn't mean you specifically, ma'am. I meant the people around this place in general.

[missionbegins]

Perhaps they're bored because they've stopped doing their jobs.

[pocketsurgeon]

Vell, zey von't get better vizout hard work, ja? Give zem time.

[missionbegins]

Hard work and discipline, which she seems to lack.

[pocketsurgeon]

Vell she ist still here. Zat ist a good sign.

[missionbegins]

Or a sign of intimidation.