(no subject)

[norussianplz]

All right, fine. You want to "find a home for me," okay. I can appreciate that, even if I already have one. Remember? That nice place in Manhattan? Only a couple of miles of really bad city traffic from my company? No? That's not ringing any bells? No, of course not. Why would it? You listen worse than Ivan did.

Look, I'll spell it out for you. And just, try to listen, okay, sweetheart? I know it's hard, but try.

You make terrible decisions. You're making another one now. And for the sake of everyone involved, you should stop before you regret it. You really should.

Trust me here. I'm already regretting it.

Comments

[norussianplz]

Whatever helps you sleep at night, Anthony.

if only I had clever keywords

[norussianplz]

You strike me as the kind of man who has trouble tying his shoelaces, so yes. You do.

alas, they're just numbers

[norussianplz]

That's probably because you haven't graduated from Velcro yet.

[Nope, not buying it.]

if the character limit was higher, they would be

[norussianplz]

What a surprise.

Aren't you?

mine too

[norussianplz]

With something simple. That's usually how people learn to function on their own.

that is a great thing!

[norussianplz]

[Go ahead, Rain Man. He will verbally hand you your ass so hard, shorts won't be the only thing left on the highway.]

Do you need me to remind you what "on my own" actually means? Because it excludes personal assistants, robots, the Scooby gang, and computers.

[norussianplz]

And you realize that building robots on your own isn't the same as getting through an ordinary day without the high-tech equivalent of a helper monkey, right?

[norussianplz]

We're talking basic life skills that most people, regardless of occupation, can accomplish without someone else looking over their shoulder and holding their hand through the whole process.

[norussianplz]

Personal hygiene, for starters.

[norussianplz]

Listening is another one.

[norussianplz]

For a helper monkey, no. But that's the problem, Anthony. You're not a helper monkey, you're a person. A little personal pride and self-respect wouldn't hurt you.

[norussianplz]

It's because the shower's a little complicated to figure out, isn't it? It's okay. It happens to everyone when they're first starting out.