oh god. plurk inspired a very weird AU

[theyounglord]

My my my!
Good heavens my dear, i must say!
Bravo on deciding to manipulate the little voice you had for me into something so sinister!
Are you as convinced as i think you are in believing that i really am some more terrifying bloke than the series is conveying me to be?
You appear to be quite perturbed.
And with good reason!
Why having the voice of a lord english in training as you say might be rather unsettling wouldnt you agree?
Especially since you claim that i just manifested in the past few minutes within your mind.
But i have news for you darling.
Why do you have to be so surprised?
Ive been here all along.

Comments

[theyounglord]

[More laughter! Not so fun being on the receiving end, is it Kaz?!]

Yes you do!
Oh this is fun!
I see why you do it!

[parasiteye]

[ not really no ;A; ]

Come down here and say that, I dare you.

[theyounglord]

[He shifts his position on Kaz's back and leans down, whispering into his ear with a low his.]

I said...
I see why this is fun!

[And he'll just laugh quietly.]

[parasiteye]

[ And in response? Kaz literally hisses at him, though it's not quite the kind a feline might make--it's raspier, less gutteral. And then the snaps his fangs at him. ]

[theyounglord]

[Jake's fortunately got his hands and well, most body parts away from Kaz's mouth.]

Now now.
Thats no way to behave.

[parasiteye]

I'm going to eat you, you little shitface!

[theyounglord]

Id like to see you try.

[parasiteye]

Let me up an' you'll get your chance.

this is getting sexy.

[theyounglord]

Will you make it fun for me?

i ship it

[parasiteye]

Oh trust me, you'll love it.

/fans self

[theyounglord]

[There's that small flickering of neon green as Jake gets off of Kaz's back. But where the fuck is he, Kazzy? Where oh where could he be?]

Then ill have to make it fun for you too!

[parasiteye]

[ oh dear god what even--he's scrambling to his feet and drawing one of is daggers yes, but Jake...is nowhere to be found wth. ]

--Where the fuck did you go??

[theyounglord]

Right here.

[Jake appears a few feet to Kaz's left, just smiling, egging him on a little bit.]

[parasiteye]

[ and immediately he's turning and swing the dagger around at Jake's head, hissing again B( FUCK YOU ENGLISH ]

[theyounglord]

[But this time, he's not so much disappearing as he is casually stepping to the side to avoid the strike, smirking like a douche.]

[parasiteye]

[ oh fuck him--he's whirling around with a curse and swinging again, quickly, while trying to make a grab for his shirt at the same time ]

[theyounglord]

[This attack misses still, but Jake allows his shirt to be grabbed, and he smirks at Kaz lowly.]

Oh dear.
It seems youve caught me.

[parasiteye]

Bad luck for you, asshole. [ because he's making a bite for him now, and it doesn't matter where B( just as long as he gets this smug asshole ]

[theyounglord]

[Jake just merely sticks his hand out and grabs Kaz, firmly by the jaw as he goes in to bite him, and smiles.]

Oops.

[parasiteye]

[ A very displeased hiss is Kaz's response--but he's still got his knife hand, and he's trying to stab him through the middle with it now as he struggles to push forward against the hold on his jaw ]

[theyounglord]

[Jake merely reaches out and grabs with his free hand, the one in which Kaz is holding the knife. He smiles, gripping him tightly, as if to tell him not to make any sudden movements. Because Lord English taught him well.]

[parasiteye]

..... [ he's definitely hesitating. But he does have the option of letting Jake's shirt go to try and jab him with his elbow....and it's tempting ]

[theyounglord]

Thats probably not a good idea you know.
Because I could easily just vanish again the second you move your arm.

[parasiteye]

Says you. [ ...and then like an idiot, he's trying it ]

[theyounglord]

[And Jake just vanishes again and appears behind him once more, throwing a few hits to the back of Kaz's head to try and knock him off balance.]

You were saying?