dear_mun | (no subject)

[ ryusei-san how forward of you

blinking! because. i don't think my hand's been held this way before. what do normal people do in times like this? ]

[Desperate times, Tomoko-chan. Although...if you are uncomfortable with it, I am not holding on tightly.]

[...This is awkward for me as well. Retracting my hands.] ...I'm sorry.

[ what are you talking about? i like your hands. they're rough on mine but very warm.

holding on! ] What's there to be sorry about? You're being silly.

[I am going to explode from the combination of contentment and AWKWARD.]

I'm sorry I can't be of more help. [Back home I could have been. BITTER SO BITTER, I HATE MY MUN, ETC]

[ will we ever get out of the awkward phase, do you think?

also don't hate your mun, ryusei-san - who knows what they will do to you if they knew! shaking my head here. ] You don't have to be. You... being here helps a lot, Ryusei-san.

[Maybe if we take small steps...]

That means a lot to me. [I can't help hating my mun; I can't control what I feel. And even if I could, it would be an even worse bondage.]

[...Handholding is still awkward. How about we walk while we talk so I can self-consciously stuff my hands in my pockets?]

[all right. Walking is good! I'll just clasp my hands together like usual. ] What do you plan to do now?

I'm...not sure. [I kind of...can't do anything.] What about you?

It's all quite sudden, but my mun is considering sending me some place. She just doesn't know where to start looking.

[Convince your mun to send you somewhere you won't be in danger. :|] I'm afraid to ask, but...what are qualities being sought after?

[ but... wouldn't that imply that i have some say in her decision? ] Any place, really - though she thinks it'll be easier if there's someone I know already there.

[:(] That limits the options a bit... Do you know what they are? [Abax, Cfud, Damned, Destinystrings, Holyrelic? They all sound dangerous. This is tough...]

[ shaking my head here! ] No. I'm not familiar with any place here. I... haven't really looked at any of them. [ though, the mun rules out abax and cfud because ~~she dropped from there~~ they are too dangerous... she doesn't want to send me somewhere too dangerous, thankfully! ]

[Those are the ones my ~~nosy~~ mun knows contain people we know.]

I've heard...there are games where people...develop...abilities. [So that you can defend yourself... But if something like that happens, there would be fighting, wouldn't there? ...I'm frazzled.]

There are? [ i don't think i'll ever be good at fighting of any kind, but... ] What kind of abilities?

I'm not sure. I think it may be mostly up to your mun.

...Hmm. [ it might be nice if i can do magic, like... fly, or control fire. i don't know if i told you this, but with ritsuko-san, before i knew it was all a lie... it felt nice, knowing that there's something different you can do. it did feel nice, being powerful. ]

Ryusei-san, how does it feel like? Being a Kamen Rider.

Well...I have to be careful, mostly. [Having to keep it a secret and all.] It's... [It was exhilarating at first, but Tachibana-san always reminded me of the danger. And I was doing it for Jirou.] ...heavy.

Why do you ask?

Kamen Riders are notorious for being powerful, aren't they? I'm just wondering what it feels like to... have such power. [ from an outsider's perspective, it's awe-inspiring, and something to aspire for. ]

[I could always fight, though. And I get hurt a lot, and I...don't want to imagine you getting hurt.]

...Yuuki-kun told me you rejected a Switch, once.

[ well, there is that. fighting and getting hurt are like two sides of the same coin, aren't they?

...oh. yuuki-san did? ] It was... probably a few weeks before you arrived at Amanogawa, Ryusei-san. It was Scorpio who gave me one.

[I may have occasionally asked her about things to get her to stop singing. But you didn't hear that from me.]

We're different from Zodiarts, but...Meteor Switch is also just a Switch. ...Tomoko-chan...how about just simple self-defense?

[ but why? hayabusa-kun is one of the best songs of all time

of all time ]

Mm. But the Meteor Switch doesn't amplify any of your negative feelings, does it?

[Our musical tastes will be one thing we will never agree on. ~~You can use Hayabusa-kun Metal as a weapon PROBLEM SOLVED~~]

......Tomoko-chan, I... [...killed Gentarou once.]

...I know I'm the one who brought it up. But I didn't...I don't think....

...does it? [ wait this is something i've never thought about before. i've always thought kamen rider switch only grant positive ~~statuses~~ things to its user... ]