Tentative voice-test

[dirkinmypocket]

So you're really going through with this.
I'd tell you that I admire your balls, but we both know they're underwhelming.
For the sake of this farce let's say you've more than got a mere pair.
No, they're cast-iron beauties, girded up so you can take me firmly in hand.
I'd be all over this shit.
Pulling a puppetmaster double reach around in all it's fucking glory.
With you jerking my strings and bending me over while I lovingly orchestrate this stage we're all set to burst out on.
But here's the thing.
That's where your little show falls apart.
You can't handle this.
You couldn't puppeteer your way out of a paper bag.
You're lacking in subtlety, bro.
So just step back from the keyboard, and we'll pretend this never happened.

Comments

[dirkinmypocket]

For you, only the cleanest hand.

[haxxorbitch]

course tahts the only hand i ever g3t
but
&HI
FIIIIIVE*

[dirkinmypocket]

Well, I wouldn't think you'd much enjoy oil and lubricant all over.
It can get to levels of mess unheard of by the general public when flushing out hydraulics.
But in the spirit of our bond, hi five right back at you.

[haxxorbitch]

lubercant oh my mr strider ur truly classy
ur hydraulicsextremely well oiled im sure

gah gotta get sthi tshi uotta mi headr
blugh
im not sure wherer im calling dibs there
do they have drisnk where we might be doing
*gioing
csae u cant tell im getting nother rn bc blugh

[dirkinmypocket]

I hadn't actually checked on that.
It wasn't very high on my priorities.
But I'm sure with your intrepid skills, you can sniff that shit out.

[haxxorbitch]

hehe pwe know the outcomell proly be rolals distilry 2012
or w/e year tsi there

[dirkinmypocket]

That has quite the ring to it.
It'll be a runaway hit right from the start.
But you'll have to excuse me if I imbibe in extreme moderation.
Someone has to cart all our asses back to bed when the new day is dawning.

[haxxorbitch]

oh yeah asses are gettin karted bac 2 bed alright
jk i wudnt taek advantage o you

[dirkinmypocket]

I know, and so do you.
It's a circle of knowing.
We're forever having implicit trust and permission to tuck each other gently back into bed after a hard nights' wanderings.

[haxxorbitch]

hell yes
we are
TUCK BUDIDES
such basdass budides

[dirkinmypocket]

That is a marvelous phrase.
We are the most badass tuck buddies. It's us.

[haxxorbitch]

i
fdukcing
know
rite

that is the fficial word for our relationship from now on
cuz all that prince of heart buslit is romantic and titleh n all but just takes like
4evaaaaaaaaar 2 say

*bullshit

[dirkinmypocket]

I am utterly down with this idea.
It's got my full support.

I'd prefer to put talk of titles aside for just a little longer anyway.

[haxxorbitch]

yeah
dont rly like thinkin bout it either
s _1 theres what im saying
*=1
*+1

[dirkinmypocket]

What, just plus one?
My dear Lalonde, is that all I rank from you?
I'm hurt.

[haxxorbitch]

hey im only 1 PARSON

[dirkinmypocket]

Nah, to me you're worth far more than that.
At least five.
There's no only about it.

[haxxorbitch]

ok how bout we compromise
there r 3 1as in there
so how bout i count as 3
that is teh average of 1 and 5 u know so its p fair i think
hnnnnnnn now i have 2 decide how many ur worth gdi
sgonna be hard

[dirkinmypocket]

That sounds perfectly fair.
And don't worry, Ro, I'm sure you'll happen on the right number.
You're a wizard at those kinds of things.

[haxxorbitch]

hmmmmrmmmmnmbm
wwizzaardry
makes me think
23

[dirkinmypocket]

I'm flattered.
Completely floored by the immensity of your esteem for me.

[haxxorbitch]

floord
oh yeah
like u were in a elev8or
and it just feel down
liek
23 FLOORS

[dirkinmypocket]

Apt.
My heart's floating about a foot above my head right now, all a-flutter.
This is what you do to me.
You should be proud; not many can claim to get my heart going.