Seen the new update, couldn't resist a post.

[prpl_assistant]

I know we're probably past words at this point, but...

Good luck mundane. You're going to need it.



...and no, I won't be taking any questions from Scouts.

Comments

[bring_the_beatdown]

But I gotta knooooooooooooooooow!

[prpl_assistant]

You'll find out more once the robots are here.

No. Further. Questions.

[bring_the_beatdown]

Why not?

[prpl_assistant]

I'm afraid I can't answer you; that's a question in itself.

[bring_the_beatdown]

Aw man. I thought that was gonna work. Why you gotta be so smart?

So uh.... It's cool if I have Engie make my bat shoot lasers then?

[prpl_assistant]

[Does she look amused Scout?]

Scout.

[Please get the warning in her voice.]

[bring_the_beatdown]

Yeah yeah. No more questions. You're no fun.

[DRAMATIC SIGH ]

Guess I'll just... you know... wait for robots to attack or whatever.

[prpl_assistant]

You don't have to wait long. ETA is this Wednesday.

I wish you all the best, Scout.

[bring_the_beatdown]

No you don't. Bet you don't even care if the robots kill us all.

Not that they will. Because we can so handle this. With our eyes closed. Anyday.

[Someone is a bit scared of death robots. But not him. Nope. Someone he once heard of. Yeah. Total loser that guy is.]

Wednesday? Jeez that's soon.

[prpl_assistant]

It was a rather sudden attack. There was barely enough time to let the teams know about the robots.

[bring_the_beatdown]

Well you don't have nothin' to worry about because man do we got this shit. 'Cept we gotta work with the REDs which freakin' sucks.

I bet I smash way more robots than that RED loser calling himself a Scout.

[prpl_assistant]

Well, a little competition is healthy, but try not to get yourself blown up by the REDs or the robots. BLU doesn't cover you for insurance.

[bring_the_beatdown]

They couldn't hit me if they tried. I'm a freakin' blur man.

[You better hope he doesn't die, or you're gonna face the wrath of his Ma.]

[prpl_assistant]

Right.

[Trying to be neutral but...why does she not believe you? Oh yeah, the footage from Meet the Pyro.]

[bring_the_beatdown]

[ Surprisingly he actually has a brain in that tiny head of his. Granted it's still processing what was said 3 minutes ago, but it's still there.]

Wait. What're ya saying about insurance? Is the respawn not working?

[prpl_assistant]

[Respawn is working, but maybe if it gets Scout to take this seriously...]

We don't know. It might be best for you to be extra vigilant and to put aside your grievances with the RED team for now.

[bring_the_beatdown]

What? WHAT?!?!?!?!?

YOU MEAN I MIGHT ACTUALLY DIE? LIKE FOR REALS??


Not..... not that that would happen. I mean.... it wouldn't happen. Nah man. I'm too awesome for that. Yeah. _Yeah.

[prpl_assistant]

If I may offer a word of advice?

Your ability to work well in a team would contribute significantly to your rate of survival.

Feel free to punch him in his dumb face.

[bring_the_beatdown]

I work awesome in a team.

A team of one.

Though uh.. if you're looking for someone to keep you safe during this invasion I can be a team of two if you know what I'm saying.

[Suggestive leer is go!]