voicetesting

[ex_elucidation693]

You hardly have a handle on this language yet you wish to attempt me.

Somehow I don't think this is anywhere within the range of an intelligent decision.

Comments

[ex_elucidation693]

Oh, John, but where would I put my new set of kidneys?

[Your food can take the bottom shelf or the chiller.]

[brb_blogging]

Somewhere else. Not cuddled up next to things I plan on eating, thanks.

[ex_elucidation693]

All my specimens are correctly sealed, decontaminated and otherwise seen to to prevent contact with edible perishables, relative location doesn't affect food quality.

Why is this an issue?

[brb_blogging]

[How in the hell can he phrase this in a way that isn't going to get him mocked?]

Because it's gross. [Annnnnd that was not it.]

[ex_elucidation693]

It's gross.

[Can you hear the many levels of "are you really this simple" propping up every letter of that sentence? Yes? Good.]

[brb_blogging]

...Yes. It's gross. [He is saying it so slowly and so carefully that there's a good chance he's trying to throw Sherlock's mockery back in his face. Good luck with that.]

[ex_elucidation693]

[He's actually putting whatever it is he's fiddling with to look at you like a math problem.]

You're capable of feeding yourself with sustainable non-refrigerated food, or canned goods. Why do you need a refrigerator?

[brb_blogging]

[The most exasperated.]

Because some of us eat for pleasure, Sherlock, not just because we have to.

[ex_elucidation693]

You should watch your diet, then, John, wouldn't want you to get fat.

[INSERT DRAMATIC NEWSPAPER FLIPPING ACTION.]

[brb_blogging]

[Wait, what. Excuse him, he's trying to figure out where this turned into an issue about his weight.]

...I'm throwing your kidneys out. Just so you know.

[ex_elucidation693]

This is blackmail.

[He took those from the morgue, John, don't you dare.]

[brb_blogging]

Think of it as an intervention. [Slightly smug, just a little.]

[ex_elucidation693]

You've already intervened enough with hiding the cigarettes and the patches, you leave the poor kidneys alone, John.

John.

[all the disapproval WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS]

[brb_blogging]

Can't hear you, emptying the fridge out! [And he's grabbing those disgusting containers with a grimace. Honestly. This has gone on far too long.]

[ex_elucidation693]

You realize I will just replace those with something worse entirely, don't you?

[Like a head.

Or bits of torso, legally acquired.]

Those kidneys are vital to my experiments, John.

[ex_elucidation693]

Put them back in.

[brb_blogging]

[If he opens the fridge and there is a decapitated head leering at him in the morning, he might suffer a minor heart attack.]

Sherlock. [He's taken that exasperated tone that he sometimes gets when he thinks Sherlock is being ridiculous.] You can find another experiment.

...Or we can get a separate fridge. [Why does he always find solutions for these problems?]

[ex_elucidation693]

[One day, John. One day. Also you get to solve these because you're the only one who cares, there's nothing wrong with toes being stuffed next to the broccoli.]

I vote fridge. You can move your silly dairy and tuna into it and not contaminate my samples.

[He's such a caring creature, isn't he.]

damn you for using that icon <3

[brb_blogging]

Because you've already sullied the one we have now, am I right? [A long-suffering sigh.]

Fine. I'm not putting these back, though.

it describes these two perfectly, imo <3

[ex_elucidation693]

Why not. Open the door and put them back, it honestly doesn't take that much effort to accomplish, why did you take them out in the first place at all?

[DOES NOT GET]

It's true!

[brb_blogging]

[Why is this hard to understand....] Sherlock, I am not going to have you keep your experiments next to food we're going to eat.

You say it's perfectly sealed and safe, and I don't bloody buy it.

[ex_elucidation693]

You think I'm being directly misleading about what I put in the fridge.

Is there some hidden mystery to your common intelligence that's been kept from me all these years, John, because I don't see why you're being disingenuous to my reasoning when you - or anyone yet - has to prove me wrong in anything.

Your food is safe. I'm not going to poison you beyond your inability to tell castor oil from honey, you're an adult, keep yourself informed and leave my kidneys alone.

[brb_blogging]

You know what--you being catty about it just lost you the kidneys. [So very casually, and no, John does not regret a thing. There are times when he is just not in the mood for Sherlock's... well. There are times when he's just not in the mood.]

[ex_elucidation693]

[This is Mr. Punchline, he's going to trip you on the way to the trash can.

No regrets either, on here.

Also, guess it's time to sign for that medical school purchase for the decapitated head. Gotta text Lestrade for a heads-up, now.]

[brb_blogging]

[This is John falling into the trash bin and getting kidneys all over the kitchen floor. This would be John swearing loudly and chucking the container at Sherlock's head in a fit of bad temper.]