On being chipped

[deadpoet]

Hello, I've got a idea. Rather than wait all those episodes for those government bastards to play around with my head, how about you go and leave me unchipped. You get the big bad me, I get to do whatever I like without a bloody killer migraine whenever I find myself feeling a little peckish. Everybody wins. Maybe not the blokes that get killed, but I can't say I really give a damn about them.

Better yet, let's go a bit before that where I still have that nice shiny ring. That way when you send me into that personal hell with two slayers, I don't find myself filling a Hoover within a week.

Comments

[touchofrogue]

First mistake: Askin' your mun ta be nice to you.

[Her mun knows this guy. No way, Spike. There's just no way.]

[deadpoet]

Well I bloody well know there's not point lodging threats. I've seen enough of these dumb bastards try that already.

[touchofrogue]

But not enough to realize that ya really can't change their minds.

[deadpoet]

Can't blame a bloke for trying. Besides, invincible vampire with a ring. It's a sure win.

[touchofrogue]

[... invincible vampire. Great. Her mun has her talk to the nicest people.]

...reckon he didn't mention the power cap, huh?

[deadpoet]

Oh, I heard all about that. Real nice too. Slayer at half strength sounds lovely, save that I'll be punching like a sissy too. Seems the only ones who do good by that are the average joes. A real pain in the backside, if you ask me.

[touchofrogue]

So ya also know there's no point in askin' ta be "invincible."

[deadpoet]

What do you call half of being invincible, love? Still bloody invincible.

[touchofrogue]

[...sigh. He is so unfairly hot. Evil. But hot.]

Vincible. I call it "vincible," since half of invincibility ain't invincible at all.

[deadpoet]

[It's the cheekbones.]

Invincible means nothing can kill me. Half of nothing is still bloody well nothing.

[touchofrogue]

[Dryly:] Think you need ta work on your long division.

[deadpoet]

I'd say you need to be more concerned about how long my patience lasts. The mun may be off limits, but you're fair game.

[touchofrogue]

[Snort.]

Is that supposed ta be a threat?

[deadpoet]

No, it's a promise for me to take you off to Disney Land to go on the little boat rides.

[No. It's a threat.]

[touchofrogue]

[She gives him a little smirk, meeting his gaze directly.]

Gotta tell ya, sugah, you've got a better chance of one than the other.

[deadpoet]

Seeing as I don't make a point of daytime appearances, I've got to agree with you.

[touchofrogue]

An' that somethin'? Somehow finding a way from Luceti ta Disney World.

[deadpoet]

Not bloody likely.

1/2

[touchofrogue]

Now, I know I must look delicious, but I've got bad news for ya - you can't lay a finger on me.

[touchofrogue]

An' I'll be happy ta stand in the way of anyone you can touch.

Welcome ta Luceti.

[deadpoet]

And what does that make you? The other Slayer? If so, I like the hair and makeup. Nice to see a Slayer who goes all the way to fit the job.

[touchofrogue]

Who me? Naw. I'm... not like anythin' you've ever seen.

[Mutant. X-Man. Freak. He'd know one of those terms. But she's not keen to claim it right now.

Monster.

Yeah. She's that too.

But she's also more. And that more is enough to keep her standing, loosely confident, and meeting his gaze.]

[deadpoet]

Right. Like I've never heard that line before. Not a single bloody hellspawn that doesn't crawl its way into the world planning to use that line.

[touchofrogue]

"Hellspawn..." [She weighs the name, tilting her head a little before she shakes it.] Now ya sound like the Friends of Humanity.

[Ha.]

[deadpoet]

I don't think it needs to be said how wrong you are on that one.