On Mun's general wish to get Angel in any game

[bigbad]

...No. He's the last person I need to see. Bugger off.

Comments

I really love your Angel btw

[bigbad]

Trying to make it clear how little I want you around. Been a while since we chatted, but I think we can go a couple more decades, don't you?

Wow, thank you. I love your Spike. He's golden.

[thesulahs]

You know, I think you've just found something that we can both agree on. For once.]

But um, before we go our separate ways [Thank god!] can I just-- I mean, I'd like to know how she's doing. [He falls silent for a moment, folding his arms across his chest.] Is Buffy okay? [It's none of his business and he knows that he shouldn't be asking but he just can't seem to help himself.]

Ahhhh thank you! <3 Any chance you're looking for a game or something?

[bigbad]

[He immediately stiffens because Angel and Buffy together is always a sore subject. Even if it's just Angel asking about it.] She's fine. Not that it's any of your business.

You're welcome! Possibly.

[thesulahs]

It isn't. I just...like to know that somebody's making sure that she's okay. Even if that person is you. [Angel knew that Buffy didn't need somebody to take care of her. She'd shown on multiple occasions that she was more than able to look after herself, but it was still good to know that somebody had her back despite that person being Spike.]

[bigbad]

I've always had her back. [Besides when he was evil. But that doesn't count.] But just so we're clear, I'm not one of your little spies. I'll keep an eye on her cause I care. Not for you. [Never for Angel.]

[thesulahs]

And because you're better than I am. [It's difficult for him to say and it's even harder for him to digest his sudden outburst. But it's the truth.

Right now, Spike is better than him. Spike isn't putting people in danger, he isn't planning to resurrect a man from a magicless word and he's isn't pushing away the one woman that still thinks of him as a man and not a monster. ]

The world needs a new champion, Spike. And that's you. [He croaks, staring blankly ahead before forcing himself to look at the other man to prove that he's being sincere.]

[bigbad]

[...it's not what he ever expected to hear from Angel, though right now, after the whole Twilight debacle, he believes it. He hasn't always. Angel always seemed like the unreachable gold standard. More evil when he was evil and more heroic when he was a hero. Spike remained stubbornly a bit too human to reach Angelus levels of evil and a bit too bad boy to reach Champion status.

It's weird and uncomfortable and he doesn't know how he feels about Angel saying it, so he hides behind the familiar rivalry. It's easier.]

Buffy already named me her champion.

[thesulahs]

[Angel didn't expect anything less, so he just nods and tries to keep his expression blank to hide the twinge of sadness that comes with Spike's words.]

Then she made the right call. [Sometimes he wonders if he can ever slip back into the person he once used to be, but deep down he knows that he can't. He's screwed up to much, barely anybody trusts him and even if he did prove that he wanted to be a good man again, he couldn't just waltz into the Hyperion hotel and start solving people's problems again. It doesn't work like that.]

[bigbad]

[Spike gives a sort of sharp, half nod in return. He's weirdly annoyed with Angel right now. After all those decades of craving Angel's approval, even if he didn't admit it, all those years trying to impress or kill him, now, when Spike's finally realised what scum Angel really is, and how little he actually needs Angel's approval... Now he gives it.

Spike's not really sure how to react to it, so he changes the topic.]

How're things going in England? You seem a lot less catatonic than last time we didn't talk.

[thesulahs]

Faith really helped me out. She helped me find my purpose again and ever since then she's had my back. And things in England are...well, they're okay. [He's not going to elaborate because of reasons.]

[bigbad]

[LIKE BECAUSE RAISING GILES FROM THE DEAD IS A DUMB PLAN AND SPIKE WOULD TELL HIM SO? THOSE KINDS OF REASONS?]

Well, I've been thinking of visiting the moon.

[thesulahs]

[No...

OKAY, YES, BUT THEN SPIKE WOULD TELL BUFFY AND THEN THEY WOULD BOTH PLOT TO STAKE HIM AND ALTHOUGH HE HATES HIMSELF AND THINKS HE SHOULD BE A SMALL PILE OF DUST HE HAS A MISSION TO ACCOMPLISH FIRST.]

In outer space? Why?

[bigbad]

Why not? I've got a space ship, and I've never been.

[thesulahs]

What are you trying to escape from?

[bigbad]

Nothing. [Buffy. Buffy's feelings, or lack thereof. His own feelings. Life.] I just want to boldly go where no vampire's gone before.

[thesulahs]

[The pop culture reference practically bounces off of Angel.] You know it takes a long time to fly to the moon and back right, Spike?

[bigbad]

[Yeah... Spike's not sure why he even tries.] So? I'm immortal.

[thesulahs]

[Apparently neither of them are good at pulling themselves out of potentially awkward or sticky situations.]

What happened to being Buffy's champion? [The C word comes out a lot quieter than the rest of his words considering it's still hard to accept that Spike is a hero.]

[bigbad]

If she needs me I'll come back.

[thesulahs]

Don't be an idiot, Spike. Clearly something's going on between the two of you and instead of dealing with it like a normal person you're planning to escape the moon.

[bigbad]

You're lecturing me on not dealing with my problems and running away. That's rich.

[thesulahs]

What's that supposed to mean?

[bigbad]

That if you followed your own advice you'd still be with Buffy instead of being the name she can't stand to hear.

[A beat.]

So I'm glad you didn't.

[thesulahs]

She's better without me in her life. Nothing good ever comes from the two of us being together and yet somehow we keep getting dragged back in. [He's not sure why he's telling Spike all of this but it's an admission that he needs to get off his chest.] I still love her. A part of me always will. She gave me a purpose and showed me that I could be somebody decent, somebody that could make amends and she taught me how to feel again. But I'm not in love with her any more. She's outgrown me and there's nothing that I can offer her. Maybe it's for the best that she can't stand the sight of me. I don't ever want to hurt her again, which is why I'm going to keep away from her...forever. [And he means it this time. The only way he'll ever allow himself to see her again is if she desperately needs him. Otherwise he knows that it's just best for him to keep his distance.]

[bigbad]

[Spike's quiet for a moment because he's pretty sure he really shouldn't have abandoned Buffy... but he's not Angel, and it was different. He and Buffy parted amicably because Buffy didn't share his feelings and just being the guy she confided in sometimes had stopped being enough. So he left, rather than finding an excuse to stick around and keep hoping for what would never come.]

You better bloody mean it this time. If you hurt her again, I'll kill you. Even if she ends up hating me for it.