On Mun's general wish to get Angel in any game

[bigbad]

...No. He's the last person I need to see. Bugger off.

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[bigbad]

[...it's not what he ever expected to hear from Angel, though right now, after the whole Twilight debacle, he believes it. He hasn't always. Angel always seemed like the unreachable gold standard. More evil when he was evil and more heroic when he was a hero. Spike remained stubbornly a bit too human to reach Angelus levels of evil and a bit too bad boy to reach Champion status.

It's weird and uncomfortable and he doesn't know how he feels about Angel saying it, so he hides behind the familiar rivalry. It's easier.]

Buffy already named me her champion.

[thesulahs]

[Angel didn't expect anything less, so he just nods and tries to keep his expression blank to hide the twinge of sadness that comes with Spike's words.]

Then she made the right call. [Sometimes he wonders if he can ever slip back into the person he once used to be, but deep down he knows that he can't. He's screwed up to much, barely anybody trusts him and even if he did prove that he wanted to be a good man again, he couldn't just waltz into the Hyperion hotel and start solving people's problems again. It doesn't work like that.]

[bigbad]

[Spike gives a sort of sharp, half nod in return. He's weirdly annoyed with Angel right now. After all those decades of craving Angel's approval, even if he didn't admit it, all those years trying to impress or kill him, now, when Spike's finally realised what scum Angel really is, and how little he actually needs Angel's approval... Now he gives it.

Spike's not really sure how to react to it, so he changes the topic.]

How're things going in England? You seem a lot less catatonic than last time we didn't talk.

[thesulahs]

Faith really helped me out. She helped me find my purpose again and ever since then she's had my back. And things in England are...well, they're okay. [He's not going to elaborate because of reasons.]

[bigbad]

[LIKE BECAUSE RAISING GILES FROM THE DEAD IS A DUMB PLAN AND SPIKE WOULD TELL HIM SO? THOSE KINDS OF REASONS?]

Well, I've been thinking of visiting the moon.

[thesulahs]

[No...

OKAY, YES, BUT THEN SPIKE WOULD TELL BUFFY AND THEN THEY WOULD BOTH PLOT TO STAKE HIM AND ALTHOUGH HE HATES HIMSELF AND THINKS HE SHOULD BE A SMALL PILE OF DUST HE HAS A MISSION TO ACCOMPLISH FIRST.]

In outer space? Why?

[bigbad]

Why not? I've got a space ship, and I've never been.

[thesulahs]

What are you trying to escape from?

[bigbad]

Nothing. [Buffy. Buffy's feelings, or lack thereof. His own feelings. Life.] I just want to boldly go where no vampire's gone before.

[thesulahs]

[The pop culture reference practically bounces off of Angel.] You know it takes a long time to fly to the moon and back right, Spike?

[bigbad]

[Yeah... Spike's not sure why he even tries.] So? I'm immortal.

[thesulahs]

[Apparently neither of them are good at pulling themselves out of potentially awkward or sticky situations.]

What happened to being Buffy's champion? [The C word comes out a lot quieter than the rest of his words considering it's still hard to accept that Spike is a hero.]

[bigbad]

If she needs me I'll come back.

[thesulahs]

Don't be an idiot, Spike. Clearly something's going on between the two of you and instead of dealing with it like a normal person you're planning to escape the moon.

[bigbad]

You're lecturing me on not dealing with my problems and running away. That's rich.

[thesulahs]

What's that supposed to mean?

[bigbad]

That if you followed your own advice you'd still be with Buffy instead of being the name she can't stand to hear.

[A beat.]

So I'm glad you didn't.

[thesulahs]

She's better without me in her life. Nothing good ever comes from the two of us being together and yet somehow we keep getting dragged back in. [He's not sure why he's telling Spike all of this but it's an admission that he needs to get off his chest.] I still love her. A part of me always will. She gave me a purpose and showed me that I could be somebody decent, somebody that could make amends and she taught me how to feel again. But I'm not in love with her any more. She's outgrown me and there's nothing that I can offer her. Maybe it's for the best that she can't stand the sight of me. I don't ever want to hurt her again, which is why I'm going to keep away from her...forever. [And he means it this time. The only way he'll ever allow himself to see her again is if she desperately needs him. Otherwise he knows that it's just best for him to keep his distance.]

[bigbad]

[Spike's quiet for a moment because he's pretty sure he really shouldn't have abandoned Buffy... but he's not Angel, and it was different. He and Buffy parted amicably because Buffy didn't share his feelings and just being the guy she confided in sometimes had stopped being enough. So he left, rather than finding an excuse to stick around and keep hoping for what would never come.]

You better bloody mean it this time. If you hurt her again, I'll kill you. Even if she ends up hating me for it.

[thesulahs]

I don't think that would work in your favor. [Because Faith would probably take him out as a result.]

[bigbad]

I think we'll all be happier if we never find out.

[thesulahs]

I agree with that.

[bigbad]

And here I thought we'd never find common ground.

[thesulahs]

I guess we're just not as different as we like to tell ourselves.

[bigbad]

[Suspicious look.] We're very different. There's our colouring, for one thing. And the part where you're dead boring. And I already mentioned the forehead, didn't I?