Meet the Pyro: Coming sometime between now and the end of the world.

[notintehkitchen]

Hey, mun.

I know my super amazing introduction is about to unfold but you keep saying two words that really confuse me.

"Meet the Pyro" I understand "coming", I also understand. Now, this "Valve time" I don't! What is it? It is not something I can translate or understand properly....

Comments

[sentryslinger]

Well, they're probably there to balance out the ones you said who have other things on their mind.

[notintehkitchen]

And what about your Pyro?

What is it like?

[sentryslinger]

At which base? I've been to a lot of 'em.

[notintehkitchen]

[Oh, that's right. He's probably been working much longer then she has. Compared to anyone but Scout, she's just a kid.]


Um, any of them?

[sentryslinger]

There's this one at one of the bases up north- Viaduct, maybe. She's particularly good at keepin' your RED Spies off my back. The problem is when she gets distracted and wanders off, and I'm still expectin' her to be there. She's real easy to get along with though, so I'm not complaining.

I had one I dealt with years ago back at Turbine who spent all his time hidin' in the vents. Just couldn't convince the little fella that Spies weren't always up there! I kept havin' to work around him by putting a dispenser up there on one side and a sentry on the other. We blocked folks from comin' in above us, but that left the intelligence room open for attack if you REDs just took the long way in.

[notintehkitchen]

They sound cute! I want to adopt them as pets!

[Pyro hasn't learned you can't adopt whatever you please, especially not BLUs.]

[sentryslinger]

Now ya can't just go around adopting people as pets. They might not like that.

[He's heard about Medic.]

[notintehkitchen]

Can I adopt you then? I'll feed you bacon three times a day.

[BUT HE'S SO CUTE, CRANKY AND ADOPTABLE.]

[sentryslinger]

I just got through sayin' you can't go around adopting people like they're animals, Pyro.

[Unless they're Spies.]

[notintehkitchen]

I'll treat you like a human! The only difference is I'll pet your head!

[sentryslinger]

I don't think that'd work out even if I agreed to it. We're not on the same team.

[notintehkitchen]

If you came to Paradise it would be fine! Mr. Hawk and BLU Sniper are great friends! We don't fight with one another and try to get along since the respawn system is faulty here!

[sentryslinger]

I've heard about that faulty respawn y'all got there. That doesn't sound like any place I want to be.

[notintehkitchen]

Maybe you could fix it for us.

[sentryslinger]

I'm good with machines, but I'm not that much of a miracle worker. Miss Pauling said y'all don't even know where it is.

[notintehkitchen]

In that case, we just need to find it.

[Although if they did find it and fix it, the BLUs and REDs may not get along anymore.]

[sentryslinger]

I doubt it'll be easy, or someone would've found it already. That'll be somethin' to keep you busy in that city you're livin' in.

[notintehkitchen]

Maybe Jell-O can find it! He brings home tons of interesting things for me already!

[sentryslinger]

Like what?

[notintehkitchen]

Oh, it's really cute. He brings me home presents like brains from animals--at least, I think they are animals not human brains. He must think I'll want to eat them too!

[sentryslinger]

Well ain't that, um... interesting.