Meet the Pyro: Coming sometime between now and the end of the world.

[notintehkitchen]

Hey, mun.

I know my super amazing introduction is about to unfold but you keep saying two words that really confuse me.

"Meet the Pyro" I understand "coming", I also understand. Now, this "Valve time" I don't! What is it? It is not something I can translate or understand properly....

Comments

[hasstandards]

When she stops making sense, you'd best just assume your mundane is insane, pumpkin. That's what I do.

[And look where it's gotten him. On second thought, maybe his advice isn't so great.]

[notintehkitchen]

She said nobody will know I'm ever a girl or a boy even when my video does come.

She said our creator is a "huge troll", Mr. Hawk.

[sentryslinger]

Has your mundane been findin' some of those odd items lyin' around, too? Mine has. Got her all excited for your introduction and everything.

[hasstandards]

Troll? Like one of those things what lives under a bridge in fairy tales?

[notintehkitchen]

I don't know but I hope so! Trolls are cute!

[notintehkitchen]

Odd items?

[UNSURE, UNSURE, UNSURE AND MORE UNSURE.]

[hasstandards]

... I don't think we were told the same stories as kids.

[notintehkitchen]

I want a pet troll! Can I have one? I'll take really good care of it and build it a bridge to be cranky underneath!

[hasstandards]

I don't see why you're askin' me. If you can find a troll and want to build a bridge for it to live under where it'll eat anyone mental enough to cross it, that's your business.

[notintehkitchen]

Because it's going to be our child.

[hasstandards]

... You're kidding.

[On second thought—]

No, you're not. Pyro, you can't just go adoptin' everything. Some animals are dangerous.

[If a troll constitutes as an animal, that is.]

[sentryslinger]

Yeah. There was a plank of wood and a goldfish that showed up for my mundane the other day. I'm not sure what they'd be good for, but she trusts me to find some use for 'em.

[notintehkitchen]

They are just items suited for me.

[She was afraid her underwear showed up. Not that she should worry since she wears men's underwear and bounds up her breasts with bandages anyways--but hey, sometimes she forgets.]

[sentryslinger]

And how do you figure that?

[notintehkitchen]

But everyone calls me dangerous and other mean words too. I feel bad for trolls because no one must love them, that's why I must adopt them all and make them my children.

[notintehkitchen]

Because they are cute.

[Everything is cute to Pyro.

EVERYTHING.]

[hasstandards]

You don't go standin' under bridges and devouring anything that crosses them.

[notintehkitchen]

I would if it all tasted like bacon.

[sentryslinger]

If you say so. You'd think the fish would've come with a bowl to keep him in, though. I ended up puttin' mine in an old can. Not perfect, but he's alive.

[hasstandards]

I'm pretty sure people don't taste like that. And goats certainly don't.

[notintehkitchen]

You should put a laser on it's head and it can be a substitute sentry in the water.

[DON'T GIVE BLU IDEAS.]

[notintehkitchen]

But they both have meat, so they probably taste good...

[LOLOLOWhat.]

[hasstandards]

We can have goat sometime, if you'd like. I've cooked it before.

[Not people, though. The man has some standards.]

[notintehkitchen]

Ok! I'll try any kind of meat once!

[Nods.

Pyro wouldn't eat a person, only lick them. As Sniper may have experienced in the past.]

[hasstandards]

[Not that he's ever talking about that.]

Really. I was pretty sure you wouldn't eat anything you thought was adorable or what have you.