New muse, considering abaxcity or maisondeportes

[stabstabstab]

Bonjour to you too, mon cher.

So you think that you can handle a man like me? I pray you know what you're getting into then. The life of a Spy is a hard one, and [he chuckles] no offence, mademoiselle, but you and I both know you don't have what it takes. So consider carefully before you bring me anywhere petit, lest you come to regret it and go crawling back to those other idiots in your head space.

[Just taking a drag from his cigarette here, before he continues on.]

Now, tell me more about these 'games' that you are interested in, hmm? A haunted house, or a city of questions? Both good choices for one of my profession. Look over the intel then and keep me informed, cher.

Comments

[stabstabstab]

[Don't worry Sniper, you get your kukri back in the mail the next day, along with a note and a photograph circled in red ink. It's off the RED Pyro and him in a...compromising position. The note reads:]

You need to be more discreet. No hard feelings, convict.

[hasstandards]

[He crumples that photo up, furious. Guess who is his least favorite Spy ever already?

Yes, that includes you, BLU Spy. Feel proud that you're considered more worthwhile in Sniper's eyes than this guy.]

[stabstabstab]

[Don't worry RED, he won't make it a habit of bothering you...so long as you stop poking your nose into Spy convos, he's cool.]

[hasstandards]

[Hey, Spy brought him up first. No promises when it's like that.]

[stabstabstab]

[He did give you a chance to back out.]

[hasstandards]

[After Spy had brought up such personal information? Yeah, right.]

[stabstabstab]

[That should've been warning enough.]

[hasstandards]

[He's a stubborn thing.]

[stabstabstab]

[Unfortunately. Spy has a feeling this will not be the last time they clash.]

[hasstandards]

[Probably not. Sniper can hold a mean grudge against someone who holds such personal information against him.]

[stabstabstab]

[They are going to be such good fr-, I mean, team mates, aren't they...?]

[hasstandards]

[Yes. Great teammates. Sniper would love nothing more than to give Spy a close and personal look at the sharp end of his knife.]

[stabstabstab]

[Oh no, it would be rude if Spy didn't introduce his first.]

[hasstandards]

[We already know Spy is a gentleman. Sniper should probably do the introductions first.]

[stabstabstab]

[If he's a gentleman, than he should really go first. It's only polite, after all. Be polite, be professional...oh, what was the last one?]

[hasstandards]

[Have a plan to horribly maim and/or kill every Spy that sticks his nose into his private life. I'm pretty sure that's it.]

[stabstabstab]

[Funny, Spy's version is: have a plan to kill every single person you meet.]

[hasstandards]

[He could start with himself. Sniper will be in attendance at the funeral.]

[stabstabstab]

[That's not killing, that's suicide. And he only kills people that he meets who give him reason to.]

[hasstandards]

[Hey, Sniper does that. And people he's hired to kill. He's a professional.]

[stabstabstab]

[Hence why Spy's knife is going nowhere near himself. It's saved only for professional purposes. Specifically, the backs of others.]

[hasstandards]

[And Sniper's is saved for cutting through the brush and the limbs of people he views as a threat. It's practical.]

[stabstabstab]

[Nice. So they're both saved for professional purposes that do not involve self-harm. And to be polite, Spy will make sure to introduce his to Sniper first. They both get to keep their professional images.]

[hasstandards]

[Better, Sniper can introduce Spy to his gun. He can do that from over a mile away. Wouldn't want Spy to have to walk all the way back, after all.]

[stabstabstab]

[Ah, but he has to be polite. He doesn't want to deny Sniper the chance to say hello to his knife, after all. Don't worry Sniper, he'll get to your cozy Sniper's nest. You don't even have to lift a finger.]