New muse, considering abaxcity or maisondeportes

[stabstabstab]

Bonjour to you too, mon cher.

So you think that you can handle a man like me? I pray you know what you're getting into then. The life of a Spy is a hard one, and [he chuckles] no offence, mademoiselle, but you and I both know you don't have what it takes. So consider carefully before you bring me anywhere petit, lest you come to regret it and go crawling back to those other idiots in your head space.

[Just taking a drag from his cigarette here, before he continues on.]

Now, tell me more about these 'games' that you are interested in, hmm? A haunted house, or a city of questions? Both good choices for one of my profession. Look over the intel then and keep me informed, cher.

Comments

[regretzio]

[strum]

♪ Oh Spy, master of disguise
Deftly employing deceit and lies
But simple enough to detect and dispatch
Just light them on fire and see if they catch ♪

[stabstabstab]

[He raises an eyebrow and snaps his cigarette case shut.]

You must be singing of those amateurs in the other bases who claim to share my profession. If one were a good Spy, one would never be caught, especially by those flame-wielding imbeciles with the intellect of a brainless dog. They are simple enough to outwit and outmanoeuvre.

[not_onyourside]

A game? Well zhat sounds fun.

You will of course, let me know all about eet?

[stabstabstab]

Do your own homework. Life does not simply give you everything on a silver platter, especially something as precious as information.

[not_onyourside]

Eet was merely an attempt at camaraderie mon ami. Eef you do not wish to share I will not complain. Zhere ees little value een knowing more about places zhat I shall never be at.

[stabstabstab]

Camaraderie?

[He lets out a small laugh.]

How cute.

[Out pops out his knife, as he flicks it open.]

The world is not such a kind place, espion, especially to men like us. You would do well to shed such pathetic thoughts if you wish to survive.

[not_onyourside]

To each zheir own. Eet must be ever so lonely to be you.

[He brushes off some infinitesimal speck of dust off his suit.]

I have survived zhus far, non?

[stabstabstab]

To each their own, yes. I suppose that is how one distinguishes between a master and a fool. The master learns; the fool makes excuses.

If you call depending on that machine to bring you back, 'surviving', then I suppose so.

[not_onyourside]

Razzer presumptuous to zhink you know anyzzing about me. But I suppose conceit ees a common trait amongst Spies.

[He shrugs, very much not concerned with what the other has to say.]

[stabstabstab]

And it is rather foolish of you to think that I don't.

Tell me, how is that RED Sniper friend of yours doing? And his abomination of a lover?

But wait! Friendships aren't allowed.

[He holds up the knife and waves it, his face absolutely serious.]

Should I give him a reminder, espion? He has such lovely scars; I can give him one more.

Low blow.

[not_onyourside]

Ah such superficial details, I had expected more, but really, I should not be surprised.

Eef zhat was supposed to be intimidation or some sort of zhreat I must say, you are far out of practise.

Sorry, he's a jerk.

[stabstabstab]

I would not call it a threat; more of a lesson to be learned. It is sentimental fools such as yourself who taint the name of our profession.

[He flicks his knife close.]

You have been very careless around that man; you reveal too much about yourself. Tell me, have you ever considered that the Administrator is aware of what the two of you have been up to, and the consequences that may come with that? Not only to you, but to him as well? The little fiasco he had with the Docteur would never have happened either if you had kept your distance.

[not_onyourside]

[There's the barest flicker of something in his eyes, but it's gone almost immediately.]

Zhere ees more to life zhan zhe job. Not zhat I expect you to know zhat. Or razzer -- to care. And what eef I do? Who died and made you zhe Administrator to dole out punishment for rule breaking, many of which I am sure you do not follow yourself.

[lures]

A haunted house, a good choice? It's like you're asking for it.

[ of course, her thoughts of a haunted house is beyond people popping up in bad costumes and special lighting. ]

[stabstabstab]

[There's a tiny, tiny smile on his face when he sees that flicker and he pockets his knife.]

I am merely giving you some advice, one Spy to another. Take it as you will. And I do as I see fit. If I see a fellow Spy running our good name in through the mud, I will act. And I can assure you that I have never been caught. Unlike imbeciles who infiltrate the BLU base for marshmallows.

[His voice is heavy with contempt as he speaks.]

[stabstabstab]

[He shrugs.]

It is a challenge; it is something new. If I cannot handle or solve it, then I am unfit to wear this balaclava.

Those marshmallows were delicious.

[not_onyourside]

[Grin~~ He regrets nothing.]

Oh I am a disgrace am I? Mmm. Zhat ees almost refreshing, een a way. Liberating.

[He isn't offended by that in the slightest.]

So tell me, Spy of all Spies, when you are finished wez zhis job and zhere are no more sentries to sap, no more intelligence to gazzer, no more backs to plunge your knife eento, when you find yourself alone wez only yourself for company -- what will you regret?

He doesn't care, he hates marshmallows.

[stabstabstab]

Take care of your words then, espion, lest you come to regret them.

[He waves his hand dismissively.]

Regret? Who does not have any? But it is pointless to brood on them, and if I do have any, well, you are not going to know about them.

More for him. This conversation is lovely. The most serious Spy and the least serious Spy.

[not_onyourside]

Eet was rhetorical.

Ees zhis what you do for fun? Seek out lesser Spies and tell zhem zhe error of zheir ways? Should I fall to my knees and beg for forgiveness? Take off zhe mask and retire immediately? Enlighten me s'il vous plaît.

[While he waits to be enlightened he's going to snap open his cigarette case and slip out a cigarette for himself. Lighting it with a BLU engraved lighter. The spoils of war.]

[regretzio]

[strum]

♪ Barring that, there are many
Other true and tried ways
Like what they say, about how spies
Clack their hands and walk 'round sideways ♪

[lures]

Ooh? I didn't know spies were outer world investigators — at least, not the kind of spies in the stories stories I've heard of.

I hope they still like secrets in your world.

Thanks. I hope I'm doing this right.

[stabstabstab]

If I recall correctly, you were the one who approached me. And, as I have already told you, it is merely advice. It is up to you to make the next move.

[Not bothered by that lighter in the least. Anyone can pickpocket the dead.]

[stabstabstab]

And I suppose a singing bard would know best.

[Still not impressed.]

I can assure you that those masked morons who call themselves Spies are not like me.

<3

[not_onyourside]

My next move would be to tell you zhat I zhink your mundane has his hands full. Why would you wish to go a game eef you are simply going to stand around and wait for ozzers to come to you.

[stabstabstab]

It is our job to know everything, including secrets.