I've got my eye on you

[motherfuckin_avengers]

[A letter for each and every Avenger]

Comments

[motherfuckin_avengers]

You, Stark, have an unprecedented and unbroken record of 45 consecutive absences.

That's not a compliment or an achievement, by the way.

[tasteslikecoconut]

[Gasp! How dare you insinuate such a thing.]

It's forty four and you know it. I was ... at least half-present for that one where Barton took three bathroom breaks in a half hour. You might want to get that checked out, by the way, I've heard prostate cancer and uncontrollable bladder impulses are pretty common for compromised assassins these days.

[motherfuckin_avengers]

You were still hungover from god only knows what you were doing the night before.

[The mention of prostate-cancer, however, earns a slightly arched brow. Nothing else. Just his usual stone cold face]

Why are you telling me this instead of him?

[tasteslikecoconut]

I was fine. You should consider yourself lucky Pepper thought that meeting was important enough to get me up at all. [She owes him sexual favors for that one.]

[The answer, to him, is obvious.]

He's an assassin. I would really like to avoid taking an arrow to the knee just for helping the guy out.

[motherfuckin_avengers]

Sometimes I think I should have hired Pepper to be your keeper.

[Siiiigh]

Alright. I'll take it under advisement.