Anders (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
birdhousesoul) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
dear_mun2012-01-12 02:19 pm
birdhousesoul) wrote in dear_mun2012-01-12 02:19 pm
Entry tags:
canon is Dragon Age II, game is Entanglement, & Anders is excited
Mundane!
... I don't see why I ought to call you that, actually. It's not as though I don't know your name. Should you call me character? If you want to be on a first-name basis, it ought to go both ways. What if I call you Princess Crazypants? What do you mean, I've already given that name to Roxie? That's out-of-character chat, it doesn't count ...
No, that's not why I'mmouthing off shouting going to some trouble to solicit your attention.
I want you to read this. Carefully. Have you got any idea how much I miss having a cat around? You recall that scene in Act II, when I put dishes of milk all around the Darktown clinic? I wasn't trying to be cute when I told Hawke I missed having a cat around. As difficult as this may be for you to credit, I really was trying to feed feral cats.
... Hold that thought for a moment. You can tell me about feline lactose intolerance when I've finished, all right? I've been giving cats milk for years, cream when I could get it, and not a one complained, mundane. Not a single cat.
And it's off-topic. Hush. Eyes on me, if you please.
There is a cat who is coming to our station. It is a talking cat. A cat. Who talks.
Contemplate this marvel if you will. I've not had the pleasure of regular conversation with a cat since the Wardens made me give away Ser Pounce-a-lot, and while he was a brilliant darkspawn-fighting kitty, even he did not possess the power of human speech. And Ser Pounce and I talked all the time. How much more fun will it be to speak with a cat who can reply in other than the language of meow?
I demand that you make every effort to cultivate the acquaintance of this cat. When the cat appears, I want to be nearby, or at the least, you'll have to find an NPC willing to stand on cat-lookout for me. Handwave some backstory about how I sing the praises of the feline species to everyone; that shouldn't be too hard for you to manage. I already tell everyone about mages, why not also cats? These are my two favorite topics.
One last issue, mundane, now that you've agreed. (Your silence is no doubt consent.) I understand you've spoken with the mundane of the talking cat, and that this cat will not humor my preference for using baby talk with cats. Is it true the talking cat will mock me? For a heartfelt display of affection and esteem?
Can I buy its interest with dried mackerel? Always worked with Ser Pounce-a-lot. An easygoing cat, him, happy to be stuffed in a pack and carried about the Deep Roads. This cat sounds more ... high-maintenance. But I'm willing to adapt, insofar as is possible for me.
I leave you with this final thought, mundane. If you deny me discourse with the talking cat from Kiki's Delivery Service, you'll be sorry. All those little backthreading excursions and musebox trysts? You'll not get a tag more of smut out of me if you ignore what really matters.
Cats.
That is all.
... I don't see why I ought to call you that, actually. It's not as though I don't know your name. Should you call me character? If you want to be on a first-name basis, it ought to go both ways. What if I call you Princess Crazypants? What do you mean, I've already given that name to Roxie? That's out-of-character chat, it doesn't count ...
No, that's not why I'm
I want you to read this. Carefully. Have you got any idea how much I miss having a cat around? You recall that scene in Act II, when I put dishes of milk all around the Darktown clinic? I wasn't trying to be cute when I told Hawke I missed having a cat around. As difficult as this may be for you to credit, I really was trying to feed feral cats.
... Hold that thought for a moment. You can tell me about feline lactose intolerance when I've finished, all right? I've been giving cats milk for years, cream when I could get it, and not a one complained, mundane. Not a single cat.
And it's off-topic. Hush. Eyes on me, if you please.
There is a cat who is coming to our station. It is a talking cat. A cat. Who talks.
Contemplate this marvel if you will. I've not had the pleasure of regular conversation with a cat since the Wardens made me give away Ser Pounce-a-lot, and while he was a brilliant darkspawn-fighting kitty, even he did not possess the power of human speech. And Ser Pounce and I talked all the time. How much more fun will it be to speak with a cat who can reply in other than the language of meow?
I demand that you make every effort to cultivate the acquaintance of this cat. When the cat appears, I want to be nearby, or at the least, you'll have to find an NPC willing to stand on cat-lookout for me. Handwave some backstory about how I sing the praises of the feline species to everyone; that shouldn't be too hard for you to manage. I already tell everyone about mages, why not also cats? These are my two favorite topics.
One last issue, mundane, now that you've agreed. (Your silence is no doubt consent.) I understand you've spoken with the mundane of the talking cat, and that this cat will not humor my preference for using baby talk with cats. Is it true the talking cat will mock me? For a heartfelt display of affection and esteem?
Can I buy its interest with dried mackerel? Always worked with Ser Pounce-a-lot. An easygoing cat, him, happy to be stuffed in a pack and carried about the Deep Roads. This cat sounds more ... high-maintenance. But I'm willing to adapt, insofar as is possible for me.
I leave you with this final thought, mundane. If you deny me discourse with the talking cat from Kiki's Delivery Service, you'll be sorry. All those little backthreading excursions and musebox trysts? You'll not get a tag more of smut out of me if you ignore what really matters.
Cats.
That is all.
They have sequins in Thedas? Great shades of Priscilla, Q of the D!
No, you aren't.
Now all we need is an Elrond, tarted up.
It's a little disturbing to think of you hearing about what I used to be like in those days. I mean, you've already got the general sense of it. First-hand anecdotes, though? I cringe. Justice did make me a better person.Fine, I'm not hearing about the song. That means I have to imagine the song. I have a productive imagination.
Exhibit A: Sebastian's Templar song.Welcome to Rivendell, Mr. Anderson.
Andraste's bloody...fine. It was a conspiracy, mind. I serenaded Norah. And her breasts.
They were pretty fantastic breasts, you must admit.THANK YOU, I could not watch LOTR without seeing that. NOT THE ONLY ONE!
... Well, that's not embarrassing. Why didn't you just say so? I love songs about breasts. Almost as much as I love the subject of said songs. Or should that be subjects? Bother. The grammatical quandary of bosoms: impossible, but pleasant to contemplate.
Lord no, most people had that reaction. "Agent Smith, what are you doing in my fantasy film?"
You've forgotten some aspects of this story. Like the strip diamondback part. It wasn't just a serenade. I was standing on a table, in the middle of the Hanged Man, buck naked, singing to Norah's breasts, with everyone hooting and hollering and suggesting rhymes for "perky". I didn't show my face there again for weeks.
[ooc: P.S. I can edit I'm so happy thank you. God that makes life easier.]