dear_mun | canon is Dragon Age II, game is Entanglement, & Anders is excited

Mundane!

... I don't see why I ought to call you that, actually. It's not as though I don't know your name. Should you call me character? If you want to be on a first-name basis, it ought to go both ways. What if I call you Princess Crazypants? What do you mean, I've already given that name to Roxie? That's out-of-character chat, it doesn't count ...

No, that's not why I'm ~~mouthing off~~ ~~shouting~~ going to some trouble to solicit your attention.

I want you to read this. Carefully. Have you got any idea how much I miss having a cat around? You recall that scene in Act II, when I put dishes of milk all around the Darktown clinic? I wasn't trying to be cute when I told Hawke I missed having a cat around. As difficult as this may be for you to credit, I really was trying to feed feral cats.

... Hold that thought for a moment. You can tell me about feline lactose intolerance when I've finished, all right? I've been giving cats milk for years, cream when I could get it, and not a one complained, mundane. Not a single cat.

And it's off-topic. Hush. Eyes on me, if you please.

There is a cat who is coming to our station. It is a talking cat. A cat. Who talks.

Contemplate this marvel if you will. I've not had the pleasure of regular conversation with a cat since the Wardens made me give away Ser Pounce-a-lot, and while he was a brilliant darkspawn-fighting kitty, even he did not possess the power of human speech. And Ser Pounce and I talked all the time. How much more fun will it be to speak with a cat who can reply in other than the language of meow?

I demand that you make every effort to cultivate the acquaintance of this cat. When the cat appears, I want to be nearby, or at the least, you'll have to find an NPC willing to stand on cat-lookout for me. Handwave some backstory about how I sing the praises of the feline species to everyone; that shouldn't be too hard for you to manage. I already tell everyone about mages, why not also cats? These are my two favorite topics.

One last issue, mundane, now that you've agreed. (Your silence is no doubt consent.) I understand you've spoken with the mundane of the talking cat, and that this cat will not humor my preference for using baby talk with cats. Is it true the talking cat will mock me? For a heartfelt display of affection and esteem?

Can I buy its interest with dried mackerel? Always worked with Ser Pounce-a-lot. An easygoing cat, him, happy to be stuffed in a pack and carried about the Deep Roads. This cat sounds more ... high-maintenance. But I'm willing to adapt, insofar as is possible for me.

I leave you with this final thought, mundane. If you deny me discourse with the talking cat from Kiki's Delivery Service, you'll be sorry. All those little backthreading excursions and musebox trysts? You'll not get a tag more of smut out of me if you ignore what really matters.

Cats.

That is all.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[His lap is suddenly full of warm, bouncy catgirl. Oh Maker. This is so confusing.]

Uh. It would be, for a cat. Only, as I was saying, I haven't got any on hand. Used to carry it as a treat for Ser Pounce-a-lot, when he still traveled with me, but that was years ago ...

I ... could scratch your ears? [Why is he offering this? Well, she is a cat ... right?]

Aw well that's okay. We can get some fish later.

[Yes she's planning on sticking with you for a while Anders.]

Ear scratching? That would be nice.

[With that she would lay her head against his chest to give him a good position to scratch her ears.]

... We can? Whereabouts? I'm on what's called a space station, floating in the Void. Supplies are, er, of limited variety.

[Yep, still flustered. But polite! Not going to kick a cat off his lap. She is a cat.

An exceptionally friendly cat.]

I've perfected the art of ear scratching. [And he demonstrates. Attention to cat ears helps remind him she is a cat. Not a human girl. He really is quite good at ear-scratching, for the record.]

Well doesn't this dear mun place have a lot of random stuff for us?

[An exceptionally friendly cat who had a body that could compete with Isabela's. Said friendly cat was rubbing her head against his hand and was wiggling in his lap a little.]

I thought this dear mun place was like the Fade. You know, can't take anything out of it with you; eat something and your body will still hunger; everything a figment of dream, or a personification, or a shadow ...

[... or a slightly wiggly, very curvy girl with kitty ears growing out of her hair ...]

I don't suppose if you were a desire demon, you'd tell me you were one? I mean, I ought to be able to tell, but. My perceptions don't seem terribly accurate, just now.

[Still dutifully scritching, to do him some credit.]

I kind of look at it like we have two bodies. One in whatever game we're in and then one here. So we're comfy here and can get as full as we want while it's a little harder in the games.

[She was purring at this point, enjoying the attention and it was becoming more and more likely that she was going to follow Anders around.]

Blair is just a cat with a lot of magic skill.

[with this unholiness, nsfw, dear lord]

I'm fairly sure I've only got one body. One body, two spirits, not enough of me to go around. [He manages an unconvincing chuckle.]

Blair? Is that your name? Why not ... Princess Purple Ears? That would suit you better. And why is it you're a girl, if you're a cat?

Well how else do you explain that you're here but in the game at the same exact time?

[She tilted her head in confusion.]

I'm named Blair because I named myself that. I also look like a girl because I made myself look like one. Here I'll make myself look like your friend!

[And rather suddenly Anders would find what appeared to be female Hawke sitting in his lap.]

[Anders doesn't quite yelp. He does leap up, which would unceremoniously dump Blair out of his lap were it not for the feline grace which must surely save her, or at least enable her to land on her feet?]

You are a desire demon. Must be. Taking on the form of what I want most.

No Blair is just a kitty.

[She would change in a Particularly cute cat ]

See?

canon is Dragon Age II, game is Entanglement, & Anders is excited

have a flustered Anders

Yay xD Poor Anders. Especially since she finds him adorable

his life, so difficult

Mhm, especially when I'm sure if Blair ever gets her way Anders will be teased relentlessly

why does everyone enjoy making Anders suffer

Re: why does everyone enjoy making Anders suffer

meanwhile OOC chat is taunting him

x3

oh noes it IS a desire demon

Love Anders, and then I have another muse teasing Fenris