On shipping memes on plurk and impending graduation.

[lastmanstanding]

...You brought this on yourself you know.

what do I have to have a dead wife or a lost kid to make you get I'm fucking fine, I don't need anyone, go away.

Besides I have a lot more on my plate right now don't you think?

...Don't get upset. I'm just saying.

Comments

[lastmanstanding]

[He laughs at that.] I make a better scary guy then a normal guy huh? [he smirks] I could make an inappropriate comment to return to old themes.

[he grins and then his grin fades] It sucks. Being called on the carpet and knowing how much you screwed up. Wanting to go back and having to accept that...you can't even in some capacity. I don't want to be alone anymore and if that's going to drive people away..

[famouslytough]

You definitely make a more rakish scary guy. But I've caught you at a bad time.

[That's a rather sad smile she offers in return. She might not get another chance.]

Just try to make things right. That's all you can do, one day at a time.

[lastmanstanding]

You haven't caught me at a bad time! [Is that a note of desperation? He instantly withdraws.]

....okay maybe you have.

...What are you doing? Are you...okay?

[famouslytough]

I'm fine, Mark. I'm happy. I'm working.

We were talking about you.

[lastmanstanding]

...Amanda told me point blank when she graduated that she wanted nothing more to do to me. It's the barge. More then half of the people who I...cared about are gone.

...Oh hey. I got turned into a woman. That was a fun experience.

[famouslytough]

[That gets a laugh, though she tries her damnedest to muffle it.]

I think you needed that. How'd you like it?

[lastmanstanding]

Hey I was a good lady. Very pretty. VERY pretty. I uh...

Women feel a lot of things differently then men do.

[famouslytough]

[What.

Just. What.]

We're not a different species. Come on.

[A beat, then a pair of narrowed eyes fix on him.]

You stood in front of a mirror the whole time and fondled your own breasts, didn't you?

[lastmanstanding]

No!

Could have. I had nicer hair then boobs though but I uh-I didn't know who I was. It was a female version of me, a male version of my sister, male version of Amanda, male version of you.

She just...she thought differently about a lot of different things. Cherished these...weird girly romantic notions. Different versions of the same kinds of thought. Have you ever been a man?

I mean seriously. There was this bit.Men are hunters. Women gatherers. Men just-we're trained to see the prey. Women see...everything.

You're all really engaged. I see where you got it from.

[famouslytough]

You're saying she had a complex emotional range and the ability to form coherent thoughts based on those complex emotions? The ability to - ah - see god in the details?

[This is her, pursing her lips at you, Mark.]

It's not a girl thing. It's a 'people who aren't you' thing.

[lastmanstanding]

[He puts a hand over his heart, feigning a wound.] Ow. Ow. My pride.

Besides. [he nods] if she was able to do that and we were the same person then that means we both have that capacity.

She just got stuck on some things.

[famouslytough]

[Exasperated laughter goes here.]

You get stuck on things.

[lastmanstanding]

Why do you think that having somebody else from a whole other universe...

[This was a deep and meaningful experience. He glares at Sarah-wounded-before pacing around once.]

.....Women and men do "stuck on things" differently. It hurts you all more then it does us.

[famouslytough]

No, it - really doesn't. It varies, you know. From person to person. And it depends what things we're talking about.

[The situation with Mark and Amanda, for example, though she's not bringing that up. Just...heavily implying.

She wouldn't have been as hurt as he was.]

We're just built differently. We're not aliens.

[lastmanstanding]

[Therein is something that Chick Hoffman and Male Hoffman had too.]

...I'm trying to give you a compliment. Women are more deep and meaningful then men. So much for me doing it with tact.

[grump]

[famouslytough]

Compliment me by saying we're equals.

Or tell me you like my eyes and keep out of the quagmire that is unintentional misogyny.

[At least she's still laughing. She's been told she has an "overbearing feminist perspective" by her colleagues (whatever that means); this could get ugly.]

[lastmanstanding]

I like your hair. It looks good on you.

[and then, because Hoffman's DNA spreads to Homer Simpson's genepool and Homer always spoils moments..] Do men do anything right?

[famouslytough]

[Facepalm and a slow inhale, because Hoffman. Just.

Good lord.]

Most do all right for themselves. I'm pretty sure it's just you.

[But the way she's laughing rather helplessly suggests there's no meanness behind that statement. Just...pity. Mark Hoffman, you are a dumb thing.]

[lastmanstanding]

I'm unique. I like being unique. It draws people's attention to me.

[He smiles at that. No mean. It's like having a big dumb boxer dog.]

[famouslytough]

That and the freakish height and massive build. That'll draw attention in any crowd.

[Fight me.]

[lastmanstanding]

Goddamnit I'm not fat anymore.

[No there's still a layer of pudge there. Well-more then a layer]

You need some new insults.

[famouslytough]

Don't be so sensitive. I'm not talking about your weight.

[lastmanstanding]

[stop. stare. dirty thought. dirty thought. You can see the dirty thoughts marching across his subconscious in a neat little line.]

...I don't want to say anything without sounding like a bigger asshole.

[famouslytough]

[Sarah has perfected the Epic Lineface today. And the wide-eyed look of horror.]

I was talking about your musculature.

[lastmanstanding]

[Hoffman looks delighted for a moment] You think I'm...

[He looks amused] Well thank you.