On shipping memes on plurk and impending graduation.

[lastmanstanding]

...You brought this on yourself you know.

what do I have to have a dead wife or a lost kid to make you get I'm fucking fine, I don't need anyone, go away.

Besides I have a lot more on my plate right now don't you think?

...Don't get upset. I'm just saying.

Comments

[lastmanstanding]

No!

Could have. I had nicer hair then boobs though but I uh-I didn't know who I was. It was a female version of me, a male version of my sister, male version of Amanda, male version of you.

She just...she thought differently about a lot of different things. Cherished these...weird girly romantic notions. Different versions of the same kinds of thought. Have you ever been a man?

I mean seriously. There was this bit.Men are hunters. Women gatherers. Men just-we're trained to see the prey. Women see...everything.

You're all really engaged. I see where you got it from.

[famouslytough]

You're saying she had a complex emotional range and the ability to form coherent thoughts based on those complex emotions? The ability to - ah - see god in the details?

[This is her, pursing her lips at you, Mark.]

It's not a girl thing. It's a 'people who aren't you' thing.

[lastmanstanding]

[He puts a hand over his heart, feigning a wound.] Ow. Ow. My pride.

Besides. [he nods] if she was able to do that and we were the same person then that means we both have that capacity.

She just got stuck on some things.

[famouslytough]

[Exasperated laughter goes here.]

You get stuck on things.

[lastmanstanding]

Why do you think that having somebody else from a whole other universe...

[This was a deep and meaningful experience. He glares at Sarah-wounded-before pacing around once.]

.....Women and men do "stuck on things" differently. It hurts you all more then it does us.

[famouslytough]

No, it - really doesn't. It varies, you know. From person to person. And it depends what things we're talking about.

[The situation with Mark and Amanda, for example, though she's not bringing that up. Just...heavily implying.

She wouldn't have been as hurt as he was.]

We're just built differently. We're not aliens.

[lastmanstanding]

[Therein is something that Chick Hoffman and Male Hoffman had too.]

...I'm trying to give you a compliment. Women are more deep and meaningful then men. So much for me doing it with tact.

[grump]

[famouslytough]

Compliment me by saying we're equals.

Or tell me you like my eyes and keep out of the quagmire that is unintentional misogyny.

[At least she's still laughing. She's been told she has an "overbearing feminist perspective" by her colleagues (whatever that means); this could get ugly.]

[lastmanstanding]

I like your hair. It looks good on you.

[and then, because Hoffman's DNA spreads to Homer Simpson's genepool and Homer always spoils moments..] Do men do anything right?

[famouslytough]

[Facepalm and a slow inhale, because Hoffman. Just.

Good lord.]

Most do all right for themselves. I'm pretty sure it's just you.

[But the way she's laughing rather helplessly suggests there's no meanness behind that statement. Just...pity. Mark Hoffman, you are a dumb thing.]

[lastmanstanding]

I'm unique. I like being unique. It draws people's attention to me.

[He smiles at that. No mean. It's like having a big dumb boxer dog.]

[famouslytough]

That and the freakish height and massive build. That'll draw attention in any crowd.

[Fight me.]

[lastmanstanding]

Goddamnit I'm not fat anymore.

[No there's still a layer of pudge there. Well-more then a layer]

You need some new insults.

[famouslytough]

Don't be so sensitive. I'm not talking about your weight.

[lastmanstanding]

[stop. stare. dirty thought. dirty thought. You can see the dirty thoughts marching across his subconscious in a neat little line.]

...I don't want to say anything without sounding like a bigger asshole.

[famouslytough]

[Sarah has perfected the Epic Lineface today. And the wide-eyed look of horror.]

I was talking about your musculature.

[lastmanstanding]

[Hoffman looks delighted for a moment] You think I'm...

[He looks amused] Well thank you.

[famouslytough]

What the hell did you think I meant?

[lastmanstanding]

Honestly I was going to say muscles too but I really didn't want to sound like an egotistical jackass...I'm not you know. Most...of the time.

[he shrugs.]

[famouslytough]

Uh huh.

[She'll let it slide, but you're on thin ice, pal.]

Well, good on you for the weight loss, anyway. I didn't realize I'd given you such a complex about it.

[lastmanstanding]

I like looking nice. I was a looker once upon a time.

...I'm a depressive eater I suppose.

[famouslytough]

For a middle-aged cop with half a beer gut, you're still -

[Sarah. You're not here to flirt.]

You're not bad. You never were.

[lastmanstanding]

[He let her go. He broke down and let her go and swore, swore he was prepared to move on. On the verge of making a smart ass remark he stops and bows.]

...And for a girl with nice hair and pretty eyes...I really did like your personality the best.

It took some getting used to because you can sometimes just be the most. stubborn-

but it's...something to aspire to. If I ever had kids I'd want them to be like you.

[famouslytough]

Mm. There's a compliment. You'd want a daughter just like me.

She'd give you a run for your money.

[lastmanstanding]

...Opposites attract, what can I say.

I had a kid in that alternative universe barge. With my ex-partner. [he makes a face] neither of us were really happy but the girl was beautiful.