canon is Undertale. She has a few things to say...

[forthespiders]

Oh~ you wish to play with me in a game?

Okay. [Wait.. really?] Sure! Why not?

[Well, I would think you'd be upset at being removed from your home...]

Oh, those guys? No, they'll have things figured out. This isn't the first time I haven't left Hotland. They know to keep an eye out for anybody that hurts spiders, and leave notes for me to find. The Spider clan are known for their dependability you know!

[Huh... this seems awfully understanding of you, Muffet, I would have thought you'd at least ask-]

Of course you're going to have to pay me. [...yup, of course...] 9999 gold!

[Uh... I don't have gold. I mean, I have some human money, but...] That'll do! [*deftly one of her hands reach into her pockets and pull out a cute spiderweb phone. She does a few web searchers and...]

That'll be 11,378,862 human dollars. [WHAT?! Muffet, I don't have--] I'll take installments. Unless you think you can't pay. Ahuhuhu~♡

Comments

[your_best_friend]

[A flower with golden flowers pops up from out of the ground.]

Howdy! I'm Flowey. Flowey the Flower. Hmm... You seem to be misinterpreting things here.

You see your mundane? They're a human! And things are very different on the surface world, don't you know? For instance, it should be against the law to extort that much money out of the one that's giving you life!

[forthespiders]

Oh, is that so~~?

[The five eyes blinks. Then she smiles. She remembers you, oh yes. The talking flower with the charming smile that told her some misinformation about the human child and their questionable relationship with spiders.]

[But she'll mention that later, when there isn't a more pressing conversation point to discuss.]

And what about monsternapping? Are there laws against that? I do miss my home, you know, I'm starting to decide.

1/2

[your_best_friend]

[Wait, that was him that time? ...Did he NOT do that even? So many loops...]

Then what's keeping you from going back? The fact that you'll be lonely? Not having any customers, everyone deciding to stay in the surface?

Who even kidnapped you anyway?

2/2

[your_best_friend]

Were you even kidnapped to begin with?

[forthespiders]

What's keeping me? Well, aside from the 11,378,842 human dollars. [...her player shakes out an empty money clip sadly.] I am only on one of the biggest webs ever conceived! The INTERWEBS! I totally have to find our distant relation that set this thing up!

[She's totally serious.]

[But ah ah! Yes that face! She remembers how you changed your shape and disappeared that one time, too! She's so pleased that she claps her hands together merrily. She's so happy, in fact, that she even decides to pour two glasses of tea and set one in front of Flowey.]

I said nothing of kidnapping, stupid, I said monsternapping. It's the same principle, but with monsters.

Get your terminology right.

[determinedpacifist]

I still can't afford 9999 gold, but I have been getting donuts from the spiders in the RUINS!

Maybe I can get Toriel to knit them sweaters? Or maybe Toriel can teach them to knit sweaters?

[forthespiders]

Thank you Frisk, that is very kind of you~♡

[Like everyone else, she's learned your name too. She doesn't seem too bothered by that, of course.]

I'm sure they can be taught to knit sweaters, but what about after? We're going to need to celebrate our grand reunion of the entire spider nation! Maybe a festival? I can just see the millions of spiders gathered around the street following the best spider floats~

And I'm thinking about getting a new hat. What do you think of... [One of her hands has already been subconsciously working on a cell phone so all she has to do is raise it up and it's already showing a picture of this.] ...this one! Isn't it adorable??

[Whether or not Frisk actually thinks is adorable is not really relevant to whether or not she thinks it is.]

[determinedpacifist]

(Okay that hat is pretty sweet.)

Sure, sure! I think you'd look good in it.

And I can't pay, but I know a lot of people who'd like to cook! Uh... though I hope spiders like snails. Or spaghetti.

[forthespiders]

Spiders like bugs, stupid.

...

And maybe other spiders.

...

And fish and birds and... anything else that we can get our hands on.

... [Actually...]

...that sounds good right now, do you have any of those?

[livingimpaired]

WOWIE!! MUFFET, THAT MIGHT BE A LITTLE BIT TOO MUCH. I MEAN, FRIENDSHIP. IT SHOULD BE FREE!

[forthespiders]

What?! Are you saying that a friendship with me isn't worth anything at all?!

I'm surprised at you, Mister... [A hand twirls into the air... it's low and out of sight, but she's trying to remember which isn't going to work because wow you never really were that important to her... within a good ten seconds she decides that she doesn't really care to guess and just decides to continue that sentence as though Papyrus' name was said accurately.]

...I'm surprised at you! And a little hurt, really. I thought you wanted to be friends...?

[livingimpaired]

NOT WORTH ANYTHING AT ALL? THAT'S NOT RIGHT, EITHER.

I'M SAYING THAT IT'S PRICELESS AND PUTTING A PRICE ON IT IS SILLY. THAT'S WHY IT SHOULD BE FREE. 'CAUSE THEIR ISN'T A PRICE THAT'D BE GREATER THAN FREELY SPENDING TIME WITH ONE ANOTHER.

THAT IS WHAT I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, MEANT. SO NO HURT FEELINGS. ONLY FRIENDSHIP. NYEH-HEH-HEH.

[forthespiders]

That was so dumb, I think I lost some brain cells just from hearing that.

...

...150g to replace them, please.

[arach_nerd]

I hate to tell ya this lady, but extortion's illegal in most civilized societies.

[forthespiders]

Yeah, well, so is monsternapping, at least in places where there's mon--

[two eyes swivel to look at Spidey... then three, then all five]

...hello. What's your name? ahuhuhu~♡

[beeyourself]

Hi, excuse me! Barry B. Benson, attorney of human-bug law. You seem to have been placed in a disadvantageous position because of human oppression. Are you in need of counsel?

[forthespiders]

Why yes! I do believe I do!!

And perhaps a bit of lunch afterwards, ahuhuhu.

[beeyourself]

Super! Super. Because I'm thinking it might be hard to get that kind of money from one person alone. You're going to want to go after the government. You're an emissary of your people, a diplomat being accosted and yanked about by humans who think they have the right! It's an outrage!

That's the shtick, anyway. Can you cry on command? Not from all of your eyes, just one or two will do.

[forthespiders]

I can't speak for all of the people of the underground, nor do I really want to be. But I will speak for the spiders.

I think I can manage that.

...you're some kind of terrible bee liar, aren't you?

[megalovevania]

Oh hey, it's you. That lady in Hotland running the charity.

[a small grin graced Sans's face. Obviously he knew who Muffet was. There weren't many people in the Underground that Sans didn't know.]

Seems like you've had a hand in all of it; not too hard for someone like you.

[forthespiders]

Hello sans~♡ Donut? Just 5g, for you.

[Yup. She doesn't know Papyrus, but everybody knows sans. Not that they were friends or anything, but who wouldn't want to be nice to him, you know?]

[A hand raises to her cheek as she hears the rest of what he has to say.]

Hmm? I'm not sure I understand what you mean, dearie.

[megalovevania]

You know how to treat a customer. [He'd more then gladly pay for something, for the spiders, of course. But he left his gold in his other pants.]

I'm just saying that to anyone else it would probably be too much of a handful. [A bone-y smile was plastered on his face, as ususal.] Luckily, it looks like you have hands to spare.

[forthespiders]

Oh, hello your majesty~

I never thought I would be so important to get a visit from you.

But I am afraid that I must insist on my price. This person has taken something my commitment to working with them, and I was not consulted on the matter. Since they picked me of all people to go through various conflicts and story paths, I will have to charge the highest price possible or else it would not be equitable.

After all, they're getting me. Not my donuts, not some tea, they are getting Muffet, the maker of the tea and donuts!!