canon is Undertale. She has a few things to say...

[forthespiders]

Oh~ you wish to play with me in a game?

Okay. [Wait.. really?] Sure! Why not?

[Well, I would think you'd be upset at being removed from your home...]

Oh, those guys? No, they'll have things figured out. This isn't the first time I haven't left Hotland. They know to keep an eye out for anybody that hurts spiders, and leave notes for me to find. The Spider clan are known for their dependability you know!

[Huh... this seems awfully understanding of you, Muffet, I would have thought you'd at least ask-]

Of course you're going to have to pay me. [...yup, of course...] 9999 gold!

[Uh... I don't have gold. I mean, I have some human money, but...] That'll do! [*deftly one of her hands reach into her pockets and pull out a cute spiderweb phone. She does a few web searchers and...]

That'll be 11,378,862 human dollars. [WHAT?! Muffet, I don't have--] I'll take installments. Unless you think you can't pay. Ahuhuhu~♡

Comments

[your_best_friend]

[A flower with golden flowers pops up from out of the ground.]

Howdy! I'm Flowey. Flowey the Flower. Hmm... You seem to be misinterpreting things here.

You see your mundane? They're a human! And things are very different on the surface world, don't you know? For instance, it should be against the law to extort that much money out of the one that's giving you life!

[forthespiders]

Oh, is that so~~?

[The five eyes blinks. Then she smiles. She remembers you, oh yes. The talking flower with the charming smile that told her some misinformation about the human child and their questionable relationship with spiders.]

[But she'll mention that later, when there isn't a more pressing conversation point to discuss.]

And what about monsternapping? Are there laws against that? I do miss my home, you know, I'm starting to decide.

1/2

[your_best_friend]

[Wait, that was him that time? ...Did he NOT do that even? So many loops...]

Then what's keeping you from going back? The fact that you'll be lonely? Not having any customers, everyone deciding to stay in the surface?

Who even kidnapped you anyway?

2/2

[your_best_friend]

Were you even kidnapped to begin with?

[forthespiders]

What's keeping me? Well, aside from the 11,378,842 human dollars. [...her player shakes out an empty money clip sadly.] I am only on one of the biggest webs ever conceived! The INTERWEBS! I totally have to find our distant relation that set this thing up!

[She's totally serious.]

[But ah ah! Yes that face! She remembers how you changed your shape and disappeared that one time, too! She's so pleased that she claps her hands together merrily. She's so happy, in fact, that she even decides to pour two glasses of tea and set one in front of Flowey.]

I said nothing of kidnapping, stupid, I said monsternapping. It's the same principle, but with monsters.

Get your terminology right.

[your_best_friend]

Ah, yes... The internet... The biggest collection of idiots who do nothing but argue about things they don't like...

[Flowey sort of tips the tea with his mouth so he can take a sip of it. No limbs.]

I think you have a lot to learn. Besides, you might not even know of your mundane if they decide to put you in a...

...

Well, I'm sure you'll eventually find out!

[forthespiders]

Sounds a lot like life. Ahuhuhu~

[She enjoys a bit of her tea, and brings one of her spider donuts up to her mouth and gives it a nibble. Sure, it's going to cut from her profits, but even a spider philanthropist has to eat.]

I'm sure I will. Why bother worrying about the future, when there's so much glorious present to unwrap.

How's your tea, dearie? Does it need more spiders?

[your_best_friend]

The tea tastes wonderful.

[Though it doesn't beat snail pie.]

So what do you plan on doing in the present?

[forthespiders]

Oh, oodles. I have to first set the terms of the repayment with my muddane or however you called it, then I need to start finding a table to set up my baking stand. I'm deciding that as I go out I will look for other humans and monsters to chat with and hear the latest gossip and whether or not there is anybody around that are smashing spiders. I'll also look for good financial possibilities, though I think you know that goes without saying.

I'm also going to need to start gathering dead spiders because my supplies were left wherever I came from! Spiders don't bake themselves, and these are Overworld spiders. I'm going to have to figure out which ones taste good enough to eat!

[your_best_friend]

I bet there's tons of people here that just love to smash spiders! I wouldn't know who exactly. You'll have to ask around!

...But let me warn you: Many might not sit through your amazing song and just try to kill you outright. Be careful!

[determinedpacifist]

I still can't afford 9999 gold, but I have been getting donuts from the spiders in the RUINS!

Maybe I can get Toriel to knit them sweaters? Or maybe Toriel can teach them to knit sweaters?

[forthespiders]

Oh, what!? How rude.

But you know. I know that, and I know that there are a lot of people that would be more then happy to squish me.

[Her six hands steeple together, making herself look a bit like a praying mantis spider... except the top set, of course, which are now raised to her mouth.]

Except... [One of her fingers raise up into the air... one of her middle arms, because the appraising power of steepled hands in front of her mouth is too important to be ended so soon.] ...not that child you told me about. ahuhuhu

[forthespiders]

Thank you Frisk, that is very kind of you~♡

[Like everyone else, she's learned your name too. She doesn't seem too bothered by that, of course.]

I'm sure they can be taught to knit sweaters, but what about after? We're going to need to celebrate our grand reunion of the entire spider nation! Maybe a festival? I can just see the millions of spiders gathered around the street following the best spider floats~

And I'm thinking about getting a new hat. What do you think of... [One of her hands has already been subconsciously working on a cell phone so all she has to do is raise it up and it's already showing a picture of this.] ...this one! Isn't it adorable??

[Whether or not Frisk actually thinks is adorable is not really relevant to whether or not she thinks it is.]

[determinedpacifist]

(Okay that hat is pretty sweet.)

Sure, sure! I think you'd look good in it.

And I can't pay, but I know a lot of people who'd like to cook! Uh... though I hope spiders like snails. Or spaghetti.

[your_best_friend]

Golly, I could have sworn... I'm terribly sorry, I must have misinterpreted things.

My apologies.

[Yeah, he'd been ready to get called out on that for longer than you think and had the appropriate response chosen. The least he could do is manipulate Muffet to get out of trouble.]

I promise to be more careful in the future.

[livingimpaired]

WOWIE!! MUFFET, THAT MIGHT BE A LITTLE BIT TOO MUCH. I MEAN, FRIENDSHIP. IT SHOULD BE FREE!

[forthespiders]

What?! Are you saying that a friendship with me isn't worth anything at all?!

I'm surprised at you, Mister... [A hand twirls into the air... it's low and out of sight, but she's trying to remember which isn't going to work because wow you never really were that important to her... within a good ten seconds she decides that she doesn't really care to guess and just decides to continue that sentence as though Papyrus' name was said accurately.]

...I'm surprised at you! And a little hurt, really. I thought you wanted to be friends...?

[forthespiders]

Oh it's fiiiine, it all worked out, ahuhuhu...

...still, it's not nice to tell me the wrong information! I could have hurt them, or even KILLED them.

And that wouldn't be very nice. It would weigh heavily on my...

...mm...

...hmm...

...conscience! Yes, that's the one.

[forthespiders]

Spiders like bugs, stupid.

...

And maybe other spiders.

...

And fish and birds and... anything else that we can get our hands on.

... [Actually...]

...that sounds good right now, do you have any of those?

[your_best_friend]

[Maybe you did. Multiple times. But that's not something Muffet needs to know. Flowey makes himself look properly cowed.]

I'm terribly sorry... That would be a horrible thing.

[livingimpaired]

NOT WORTH ANYTHING AT ALL? THAT'S NOT RIGHT, EITHER.

I'M SAYING THAT IT'S PRICELESS AND PUTTING A PRICE ON IT IS SILLY. THAT'S WHY IT SHOULD BE FREE. 'CAUSE THEIR ISN'T A PRICE THAT'D BE GREATER THAN FREELY SPENDING TIME WITH ONE ANOTHER.

THAT IS WHAT I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, MEANT. SO NO HURT FEELINGS. ONLY FRIENDSHIP. NYEH-HEH-HEH.

1/2

[forthespiders]

[She'd probably would have just shrugged it off with a shoulder shrug and an "Oopsie daddle~ ahuhuhu"]

Mmm, you know you're lucky spiders are carnivorous, or I might have to act out some sort of punishment for that.

But I'm not so I won't~♥

2/2

[forthespiders]

[Then she looms near...]

But Cupcake is, so keep that in mind the next time you go around spreading misinformation.

[She pours herself a glass.]

Some more tea, dearie?

[forthespiders]

That was so dumb, I think I lost some brain cells just from hearing that.

...

...150g to replace them, please.

[livingimpaired]

COME ON, MUFFET.

I DON'T HAVE ANYTHING LIKE THAT ON ME. MOST OF MY MONEY WENT TO SPAGHETTI RECIPE INGREDIENTS.