New Comic is up and Medic is back in action

[pocketsurgeon]

If I had a billion dollars to play viz I could bring somevon back from ze dead too. And animal parts. Sophisticated equipment. Unlimited time und resources.

So a lot more zan you're currently giving me. But I am undeterred by your .. shortcomings. Should ze BLU Sniper ein your head be killed by something else ein zere I vill be happy to patch him up! I mean sure zere might be some side effects und failed attempts. But vouldn't zat all be vorzh it in ze pursuit of science?

Comments

[pocketsurgeon]

I suppose it's not likely. Vat are you planning?

[Are you going to get yourself shot again?]

[hasstandards]

First, I'm gonna either gonna find a weapon, or I'm gonna make one.

[Or he's going to find coffee. Probably that.]

[pocketsurgeon]

Vat about ze Red Medic's source of funding?

[hasstandards]

What about it?

[pocketsurgeon]

[You're killing him RED.]

He's not going to be much vorzh to you vizout money to continue his experiments. Ze Medigun isn't cheap to maintain you know.

[Though if BLU Medic can't get to that funding, then it's not really benefiting him.]

If you find anyzing could you bring it back? For research.

[hasstandards]

I'm not about to bring him corpses so he can keep playin' God.

[pocketsurgeon]

But zink of ze advances in technology!

I could do a lot if I had a few billion dollars.

[He's seething with jealousy.]

[hasstandards]

And what all would you do?

[pocketsurgeon]

Bringing people back from ze dead is only ze beginning! Zink of ze possibilities. Full body transplants, entire organ reconstructions, vy ve could even defeat death itself!

[That maniacal laughter is totally reassuring. All he needs is some lightning crashing behind him.]

[hasstandards]

[Yeaaaaah. Not reassuring at all.]

Defeatin' death would put blokes like us out of work.

[pocketsurgeon]

Nein it vould just make you have to get cleverer at capturing points.

[hasstandards]

And what about assassins like me? Can't get much work if people don't bloody die.

[pocketsurgeon]

Couldn't you just knock zem out for a vhile? You're not getting paid by ze kill.



...



Are you?

[hasstandards]

I'm not at liberty to discuss my contract.

[pocketsurgeon]

[He grimaces.]

Zhat seems unnecessary. Shouldn't it be point based? Or somesuch.

[hasstandards]

It oughtta be based on how well you do your job. Might convince some of the wankers on the teams to do their bloody jobs.

[pocketsurgeon]

Who's not doing zeir job?

[hasstandards]

You know how many times I've seen Scout runnin' his mouth instead of runnin' to the point?

[pocketsurgeon]

Zen he wouldn't be paid. Zis is not a bad system honestly.

[Guess who he thinks the most paid member of the team should be.]

[hasstandards]

[Probably not the same person Sniper is thinking of.]

Not to mention all the times I've seen Spy taunting the bloody Engineer, or Pyro chasin' ghosts around the dispenser rather than keepin' an eye on my back.

[pocketsurgeon]

You see? Zis is a good system.

However it wouldn't vork on people like Soldier. Or Demoman.

But perhaps people would do zeir jobs, and zen I'd haff more time for experiments.

[hasstandards]

Experiments.

[Never a word he likes.]

[pocketsurgeon]

Of course! Zink of everyzing zat can be achieved! I mean ve haff already brought somevon back from ze dead. Now to iterate on zat process.

Faster, cheaper, safer.

[hasstandards]

You're gonna end up with bloody zombies.

[pocketsurgeon]

Minor setbacks on ze road to success.