voice testing; spoilers for anything Spider-Verse, Spider-Gwen, or Secret Wars related maybe;

[iseespiderpigs]

Look. Dude. Chill. The icons are nice and everything but I--

[. . . pot, kettle . . .]

Oh no - don't tell me to chill. I've seen the kind of crap you've put the others in here through, and I'm just fine and dandy sitting that out. I've had enough to deal with the last few months without trying to devise some other way to send me off on some new and exciting ways to nearly get killed on another interdimensional "adventure."

[Oh come on, it's fun when you win, right?]

After watching other Spider-People get wrecked left and right, while half the rest of them give me the squinty eyes 'cause another "me" got chucked off a bridge by some green elf that throws pumpkins. Sure. Loads of fun.

[Okay, I'll admit that's a pretty weak argument--]

You can't wanna send me anywhere at this point, right?

Because who the hell knows what I'm gonna be in a few months once they're finished rewriting reality. Everyone's reality. I don't think I was in anyone's plans--

[You talk like that, people'll think you want to just disappear or something.]

...hn.

Comments

[fastest_thingalive]

... Trust me, I know where you're coming from on the whole "reality rewrite" thing. You lose what seems like, I dunno, two decades, and then suddenly, you're living a whole new life with whole new people.

And wow, you've done the whole "people who resemble you under attack" song and dance too, eh?

[iseespiderpigs]

That is way too common to be a "thing."

...and, sorta. Most of them were guys. One was a monkey. Another one was a pig--

[Squints. Okay, that's maybe a bit speciesist.]

--and another had a giant freaking robot.

[fastest_thingalive]

Hey, it took the people running our ship two decades to fall back on that. It seems you big two people can't go two years without that happening.

Giant robots, huh? This guy wasn't named Spider-Eggman was he?

[iseespiderpigs]

In fairness, I sort of get the feeling this doesn't happen here often. Great timing for me.

...no. He was Japanese.

[fastest_thingalive]

Until he decides to update your canon. Then you have to deal with all of it.

Hm. Well, I never did ask old Ivo where he was from, but... probably not there.

[astarkreminder]

It's best to take this whole thing in stride. Besides, judging by most practitioners of the mighty marvel method, you're better off wherever this so-called mun of yours sends you.

Unless of course... he ever finds a place for me, then it'll probably be the same place, knowing those two.

[iseespiderpigs]

...the sad thing is, you're not the weirdest thing I've seen this year.

[astarkreminder]

I'll try not to seem disappointed.

Was it the talking car? I've been informed your event had a talking car.

[iseespiderpigs]

...I really try not to think too hard about the stuff Miles brought back with him.

But that'd be one.

And robots much bigger than you.

[astarkreminder]

Hm. Well you know, it's not the size that counts, it's how you use it.

[he is Tony Stark's son after all]

[speedpariah]

I can relate on the matter of stigma regarding another life, given what my so-called "writer" has opted to throw in my direction. We've barely started and he's already building a whole different story for me.

Luckily, we're in the early stage, so I'm more or less "myself" now. For whatever quantification of "myself" might be, anyway.

[iseespiderpigs]

I don't care about that other life. I mean, why should I? Not that I can't relate to what the other people there might've gone through, just...

I've got a lot on my plate.

[Maybe you just don't want the chance of dealing with people who would care?]

...please shut up...

[speedpariah]

I imagine the life of a super-heroin is fraught with danger and all manner of responsibilities. I'm, ah, in charge of helping a young man not much older than yourself come into his own.

[iseespiderpigs]

Lucky him.

Hopefully he spends less time with the police shooting at him then me.

[speedpariah]

Trust me. He is in far better standing with the police than most vigilantes.

[doomedtheworld]

[She's not even sure why she's being picked to talk to this one, but she's also given up on trying to figure out what makes the mun decide who it'd be interesting to have talk to.

... But better focus on the important things here.]

You have green elves that throw pumpkins where you're from?

[iseespiderpigs]

A few alternate realities to where I'm from do, anyway.

Me, I just got done fighting an old man in a bird suit.

[Totally less weird.]

[doomedtheworld]

Hm.

[Much less weird.]

I'm not sure if that's worse than what I've faced but it's definitely... stranger.

[iseespiderpigs]

Oh. I can get weirder.

[doomedtheworld]

From all your talk about alternate realities, whatever that is, and Spider-People I'm sure you can.

[britainshero]

Well sorry my fellows couldn't help you out besides that Spider... erm, me. Multiverse dying and all. Seems like you, Peter and the rest handled yourselves well, Ms Stacy.

[iseespiderpigs]

More like delayed the inevitable. We go running around everywhere trying to keep our own hides alive, and then look what happens.

[britainshero]

You're only able to deal with what you're comfortable with in your own corner of time and space, so I think you and the rest of the Spider types did the best you could. Though I suppose now there's Battleworld to contend with.

[bodysings]

If there's one thing I know, it's rewrites, sister. But trust me, if they really wanna torment you? They can always grab you from whatever point in your timeline they want and play out your story someplace else.

Mine likes to pick the most dramatic points. Fuckin' asshole.

Digging the suit, by the way.

[ultimatespider]

If you're lucky enough, you'll be sent somewhere after all this is resolved. Not sure where my mun plans to send me, and I haven't even made an appearance in the series that involves me yet!

(Yes, you do look very familiar.)