In which a homeless muse doesn't want to go to strange places, and the mun thinks otherwise

[cancercarcino]

OKAY, LISTEN HERE YOU PATHETIC EXCUSE OF A LIFE FORM, BECAUSE CLEARLY THIS IS THE ONLY MEANS OF GETTING YOU TO ACTUALLY LISTEN TO ME FOR ONCE IN YOUR LIFE.
PUT THE BOOKS DOWN AND HOLD THE FUCKING AUDIO COMMUNICATION DEVICES, BECAUSE KARKAT VANTAS HAS SOMETHING TO SAY TO YOU.
I AM NOT GOING ANYWHERE, DO YOU HEAR ME?
YOU ARE NOT GOING TO FORCE ME TO GO TO SOME STUPID FUCKING 'GAME' WHEN I HAVE ENOUGH ON MY FOOD SLAB AS IT IS.
I'M A BUSY GUY, ALRIGHT?? IN CASE YOU WERE TOO PAN-DEAD TO REALIZE, I HAVE A SESSION TO DIG OUT OF THE COLOSSAL PILE OF BEHEMOTH LEAVINGS THAT IT'S GOTTEN INTO.
AND YOU REALLY THINK THAT THIS IS THE BEST WAY FOR ME TO ACCOMPLISH THAT FEAT?
THE ANSWER IS NO, YOU IGNORANT PILE OF NOOKSNOT.
WHAT EVEN GAVE YOU THE IDEA TO THINK THAT YOU COULD HAVE ANY CONTROL OVER ME?
I WAS THE ONE WHO CREATED YOUR ENTIRE RACE, REMEMBER?
I AM YOUR GOD HERE, NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND.
SHIT DOESN'T WORK THAT WAY, YOU HEAR?
I'VE ALREADY BEEN FORCED TO PRANCE AROUND LIKE A PUPPET IN THOSE 'MEME' THINGS.
WHICH I SWEAR JUST GET MORE AND MORE FUCKING CRAZY AS THEY GO.
SERIOUSLY, NOT EVEN SGRUB IS AS COMPLETELY ASS-BACKWARDS AS THOSE THINGS ARE.
SO YOU SEE, I'VE BEEN A GOOD LITTLE BARKBEAST DANCING FOR YOU.
I'M DONE PLAYING IN 'GAMES', AND YOU WANT TO SEND ME INTO YET ANOTHER FUN LITTLE 'GAME' FOR YOUR OWN AMUSEMENT?
THE SAME WAY YOU FORCED GAMZEE INTO ONE?
WHICH, I MIGHT ADD, YOU DECIDED WAS IN HIS BEST INTERESTS TO BE SENT WITHOUT HIS MOTHERFUCKING MOIRAIL.
DO YOU KNOW HOW FUCKING BAD OF AN IDEA THAT IS??
SURE, SEND THE MURDER-HAPPY CLOWN SOMEWHERE WITHOUT THE ONLY MEANS OF KEEPING HIM SANE, I'M SURE THAT'S GOING TO TURN OUT OH SO FUCKING WELL.
IT WON'T BACKFIRE IN THE SLIGHTEST, I'M SURE OF IT!
AND YOU KEEP COMPLAINING ABOUT HOW LITTLE TIME YOU HAVE TO GET YOUR SCHOOLFEEDING FINISHED, YET YOU DECIDE THAT YOU WANT TO SEND ANOTHER ONE OF US TO ANOTHER OF YOUR GAMES.
TELL ME, HOW DOES THAT MAKE ANY SENSE WHATSOEVER?
WHERE IN YOUR SQUISHY PINK IMITATION OF A THINK PAN DID YOU FISH OUT THE IDEA THAT SENDING ME TO SOME OTHER UNIVERSE IS THE ANSWER TO ALL YOUR SHITTY PROBLEMS?
SO BEFORE YOU STICK YOUR CRANIAL NUGBONE UP YOUR SHAME GLOBES AND IGNORE ME, JUST THINK LONG AND HARD ABOUT HOW FUCKING BAD OF AN IDEA THIS REALLY IS.
THEN ONCE YOU HAVE THIS GROUNDBREAKING EPIPHANY YOU CAN GROVEL ON THE GROUND AND THANK YOUR GOD FOR THIS BEAUTIFUL WISDOM I HAVE BESTOWED UPON YOU.
YOU'RE FUCKING WELCOME IN ADVANCE, GRUBFUCK.

Comments

[cancercarcino]

OH GREAT, BECAUSE OUT OF THAT WHOLE FUCKING COMMENTARY I JUST SPENT MY PRECIOUS FEW MINUTES WRITING THE MESSAGE WAS CLEARLY 'HEY LET'S BOTHER THIS GUY BECAUSE OF HIS TYPING QUIRK'.
YES, I AM SO HAPPY YOU FIGURED OUT MY HIDDEN MEANING.
CONGRATULATIONS BULGEMUNCHER, YOU WIN THIS SHINY NEW PIECE OF SHIT WITH YOUR NAME ENGRAVED IN IT FOR YOUR INCOMPETENCE.
AND BEFORE YOU CONTINUE TO SPOUT OFF NONSENSE, JUST KEEP IN MIND THAT I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT THE HELL YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.
IN CASE YOUR THINK PAN IS AS DAMAGED AS THIS 'MUN' OF MINE IS.

[tipsygnostalgia]

wow
u have some issues
lol

thanks 4 the piece of shit w/my name engreaved i will keep it 4ever
*engraved

[cancercarcino]

AND YOU HAVE AN ISSUE WITH TYPING LIKE A COHERENT, SENTIENT BEING, BUT YOU DON'T HEAR ME CALLING YOUR OUT ON IT DO YOU?
OH WAIT, I JUST DID.
NOW WHAT IN THE ALMIGHTY GRUBFUCKING SHIT DO YOU WANT?
BECAUSE I'M GIVING YOU THE BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT THAT YOU'RE BOTHERING ME BECAUSE YOU HAVE AN ACTUAL REASON TO, AND NOT BECAUSE YOU'RE A FUCKING IDIOT.
BUT HEY, IT COULD GO EITHER WAY AT THIS POINT CAN'T IT?

[tipsygnostalgia]

well i was gonna point out that going on a hueg rant is p pointless bc your mun wont really care
but
idk just seeing u fly off the handle at eveery little thing is sorta funny
*every

[cancercarcino]

WELL FUCK YOU FOR GETTING ENJOYMENT OUT OF MY FRUSTRATION AND SUFFERING.
IT'S GOOD TO KNOW I'M DEALING WITH A FUCKING SADIST WHO HASN'T GOT THE PAN-POWER TO ACCESS THEIR COMPUTER'S SPELL-CHECK FUNCTIONS.
I HAVE EVERY REASON TO BE FLIPPING MY SHIT OVER THIS.
I'M SICK OF THIS MUN THINKING SHE HAS ALL THE POWER OVER ME.
THE ONE WHO ACTUALLY MADE HER WHOLE UNIVERSE AND SHOULD TECHNICALLY BE WORSHIPPED AS A GOD FOR.
SHE THINKS IT'S A FUN TIME TO MAKE ME DANCE LIKE A FUCKING IDIOT AND I FOR ONE DO NOT WANT A PART OF THIS.
SO HERE I AM, CLAIMING THIS SPOT LIKE A BARKBEAST MARKING ITS TERRITORY WITH LEAVINGS IN THE HOPES THAT MY TERRITORIAL RANTING CAN SINK INTO HER THINK PAN AND MAKE HER REALIZE HOW MUCH I DO NOT WANT TO GO ALONG WITH THESE IDIOTIC PLANS.

[tipsygnostalgia]

she basically does have all the poewr over u thoguh
*power
**though
trust me ur better of jsuet giving in trying to argue against them is nothing but a lossing battle
but yeah
preeeeeetty sure shes not listening
r u always this angrey all of the time
*angry

[cancercarcino]

WELL SHE SHOULD BE LISTENING, DAMNIT!
SHE'D BETTER BE BECAUSE I DO NOT FEEL LIKE GOING BACK AND TELLING PAST ME WHAT A FUCKING WASTE OF TIME POSTING ALL OF THAT WAS AND STARTING YET ANOTHER CLUSTERFUCK OF HOOFBEAST SHIT WITH HIM.
AND WHAT DOES IT EVEN MATTER TO YOU HOW I AM?
WHO THE FUCK EVEN ARE YOU?
I'M PRETTY SURE I'D REMEMBER SOMETHING LIKE A FONT THIS FUCKING ANNOYING IF I HAD THE DISPLEASURE OF ENCOUNTERING IT BEFORE.

[tipsygnostalgia]

shes probably listening and then laguhing i know i would be
*laughing
and i was only asking bc i deicded i would be polite instead of contining to mock you but w/e dude
im gonna teach u an emote
i think u will get good use out of it bc you remind me a lot of someone that uses it
tumtu
wait
*tumut
anyways im roxy lalonde who are you angry greytext guy

[cancercarcino]

TUMUT?
WHAT THE ALMIGHTY FUCK IS THAT SUPPOSED TO BE?
IT LOOKS MORE LIKE A PROJECTION OF WORD VOMIT THAN ANYTHING.
THANK YOU FOR ENLIGHTENING ME TO THIS WORTHLESS EXCUSE OF A DISPLAY OF COMPETENCE.
AND FINE, YOU CAN KNOW MY NAME JUST BECAUSE I GUESS IT WILL PUT US ON SOMETHING OF A MUTUAL STANDING WITH EACH OTHER.
IF SUCH A THING IS EVEN POSSIBLE.
IT'S KARKAT.
REMEMBER IT BECAUSE IT'S THE NAME OF YOUR FUCKING GOD.
I'M ASSUMING YOUR HUMAN BECAUSE NO TROLL WOULD WRITE IN SUCH A GLANCE NUGGET-BLEEDING FONT.

[tipsygnostalgia]

tumut yes
its the expresion used by this very angry troll bascically flipping off the world
*basically
and yes u are quite wlecome no need to thank me
karkat
kaaarkaaaat
if ur my god you sould know of im human or not~......
*should

[cancercarcino]

YES, YOU'RE RIGHT, I SHOULD BE ABLE TO TELL FROM THE COMPLETE LACK OF ANYTHING RESEMBLING A COHERENT DISCUSSION THAT YOU WOULD OBVIOUSLY BE A HUMAN.
BUT HEY, I HANG OUT WITH SOME PRETTY FUCKED UP PEOPLE ANYWAY, SO WHO KNOWS.
FOR ALL I KNOW YOU COULD BE SOME WEIRD THING LIKE THE MAYOR IS.
EITHER WAY, WHATEVER TROLL DECIDES TO USE THAT AS AN EMOTICON IS PROBABLY PAN-DEAD AND STUPID, BECAUSE THAT JUST LOOKS RIDICULOUS.

[tipsygnostalgia]

blah blah blhagb lahblah

hey the mayor is a cool guy ok
dont diss can town

[cancercarcino]

OH FUCK NO.
NO I AM NOT DISCUSSING THAT RETARD HERE.
HE'S A DELUSIONAL FUCK WHO ISN'T EVEN A REAL MAYOR.
WHY DOES EVERYONE LIKE THIS GRUBFUCKER?

[tipsygnostalgia]

he seems like a prettty chill guy ok
anyway in more interteresting news
*interesting
are u suuuuure ur not related to umbrage
srsly dude u sound just like him
except he is actually a lot worse
loves LVOES his gray capslocks too for th most part
*LOVES

[cancercarcino]

GIVEN THE FACT THAT I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHO THE FLYING FUCK YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT,
I THINK IT'S SAFE TO SAY THAT I'M IN NO RELATION TO WHOEVER THE FUCK YOU THINK.
THE ONLY ONE ON THIS WHOLE FUCKING ROCK WHO TALKS IN GREY CAPSLOCK IS ME, OR ONE OF MY PAST OR FUTURE SELVES.

[tipsygnostalgia]

a simple yes or no would have been fine
but yeah ok i should have expceted that
*expected
seeing as none of u guys seem to know thjem
ok so my mun finally filled u in on who you r exactly
lol dude dave ttly owned you

[cancercarcino]

WHAT, HOW DO YOU...?!
WAIT, THAT'S RIGHT MY MUN KNOWS ABOUT THIS TOO.
FUCK.
WELL GREAT, NOW YOU KNOW ABOUT HOW MUCH OF A COLOSSAL TRAIN WRECK THAT WAS.
AND NONE OF THAT WOULD HAVE HAPPENED IF DAVE WASN'T SUCH A BULGE-LICKING, CULTURALLY INSENSITIVE NOOKSUCKER.
ALL HE HAD TO DO WAS READ THE FUCKING BOOK.
IS THAT SO HARD?!

[tipsygnostalgia]

he dont talk about my ectoson like that
reading books are p boring anyways unless its about wizards

[cancercarcino]

IT WAS A CLASSIC TROLL ROMANCE NOVEL!
I MEAN IT DEALT WITH COMPLEX ISSUES AND SHIT.
THAT FUCKASS JUST ISN'T CULTURED ENOUGH.

[tipsygnostalgia]

did it have porn in it

[cancercarcino]

THERE IS MUCH DEEPER MEANING TO THIS BOOK THAN JUST PORN OKAY?!
IT DEALT WITH THE COMPLEX ISSUES OF QUADRANT VACILLATION AS APPLIED TO AN OVERLAPPING GROUP OF ROMANTIC PAIRINGS.
OKAY IT'S SORT OF TRASHY AND THERE ARE MUCH BETTER ROMANCE BOOKS OUT THERE THAT I COULD HAVE OFFERED.
BUT THAT ONE JUST OUTLINED THE CONCEPT SO CLEARLY.

[tipsygnostalgia]

can i borrow it?

[cancercarcino]

...WHAT?

[tipsygnostalgia]

CAN
I
borrow
IT

[cancercarcino]

YOU SERIOUSLY WANT TO BORROW IT?
I MEAN, IT'S KIND OF TRASHY, AND THERE ARE PILES OF BETTER ROMANCE NOVELS I COULD RECOMMEND TO YOU.
BUT IF YOU WANT TO BORROW IT THEN WHO THE FUCK AM I TO STOP YOU?
AT LEAST YOU'RE TRYING TO CULTURE YOURSELF, WHICH IS A FUCKING MIRACLE ALL IN IT'S OWN.
HANG ON, LET ME GO INFORM MY DISGRACE OF A CLOWN FRIEND TO THIS SHOCKING MIRACLE, I'M SURE HE'LL GET A KICK OUT OF IT.