In which a homeless muse doesn't want to go to strange places, and the mun thinks otherwise

[cancercarcino]

OKAY, LISTEN HERE YOU PATHETIC EXCUSE OF A LIFE FORM, BECAUSE CLEARLY THIS IS THE ONLY MEANS OF GETTING YOU TO ACTUALLY LISTEN TO ME FOR ONCE IN YOUR LIFE.
PUT THE BOOKS DOWN AND HOLD THE FUCKING AUDIO COMMUNICATION DEVICES, BECAUSE KARKAT VANTAS HAS SOMETHING TO SAY TO YOU.
I AM NOT GOING ANYWHERE, DO YOU HEAR ME?
YOU ARE NOT GOING TO FORCE ME TO GO TO SOME STUPID FUCKING 'GAME' WHEN I HAVE ENOUGH ON MY FOOD SLAB AS IT IS.
I'M A BUSY GUY, ALRIGHT?? IN CASE YOU WERE TOO PAN-DEAD TO REALIZE, I HAVE A SESSION TO DIG OUT OF THE COLOSSAL PILE OF BEHEMOTH LEAVINGS THAT IT'S GOTTEN INTO.
AND YOU REALLY THINK THAT THIS IS THE BEST WAY FOR ME TO ACCOMPLISH THAT FEAT?
THE ANSWER IS NO, YOU IGNORANT PILE OF NOOKSNOT.
WHAT EVEN GAVE YOU THE IDEA TO THINK THAT YOU COULD HAVE ANY CONTROL OVER ME?
I WAS THE ONE WHO CREATED YOUR ENTIRE RACE, REMEMBER?
I AM YOUR GOD HERE, NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND.
SHIT DOESN'T WORK THAT WAY, YOU HEAR?
I'VE ALREADY BEEN FORCED TO PRANCE AROUND LIKE A PUPPET IN THOSE 'MEME' THINGS.
WHICH I SWEAR JUST GET MORE AND MORE FUCKING CRAZY AS THEY GO.
SERIOUSLY, NOT EVEN SGRUB IS AS COMPLETELY ASS-BACKWARDS AS THOSE THINGS ARE.
SO YOU SEE, I'VE BEEN A GOOD LITTLE BARKBEAST DANCING FOR YOU.
I'M DONE PLAYING IN 'GAMES', AND YOU WANT TO SEND ME INTO YET ANOTHER FUN LITTLE 'GAME' FOR YOUR OWN AMUSEMENT?
THE SAME WAY YOU FORCED GAMZEE INTO ONE?
WHICH, I MIGHT ADD, YOU DECIDED WAS IN HIS BEST INTERESTS TO BE SENT WITHOUT HIS MOTHERFUCKING MOIRAIL.
DO YOU KNOW HOW FUCKING BAD OF AN IDEA THAT IS??
SURE, SEND THE MURDER-HAPPY CLOWN SOMEWHERE WITHOUT THE ONLY MEANS OF KEEPING HIM SANE, I'M SURE THAT'S GOING TO TURN OUT OH SO FUCKING WELL.
IT WON'T BACKFIRE IN THE SLIGHTEST, I'M SURE OF IT!
AND YOU KEEP COMPLAINING ABOUT HOW LITTLE TIME YOU HAVE TO GET YOUR SCHOOLFEEDING FINISHED, YET YOU DECIDE THAT YOU WANT TO SEND ANOTHER ONE OF US TO ANOTHER OF YOUR GAMES.
TELL ME, HOW DOES THAT MAKE ANY SENSE WHATSOEVER?
WHERE IN YOUR SQUISHY PINK IMITATION OF A THINK PAN DID YOU FISH OUT THE IDEA THAT SENDING ME TO SOME OTHER UNIVERSE IS THE ANSWER TO ALL YOUR SHITTY PROBLEMS?
SO BEFORE YOU STICK YOUR CRANIAL NUGBONE UP YOUR SHAME GLOBES AND IGNORE ME, JUST THINK LONG AND HARD ABOUT HOW FUCKING BAD OF AN IDEA THIS REALLY IS.
THEN ONCE YOU HAVE THIS GROUNDBREAKING EPIPHANY YOU CAN GROVEL ON THE GROUND AND THANK YOUR GOD FOR THIS BEAUTIFUL WISDOM I HAVE BESTOWED UPON YOU.
YOU'RE FUCKING WELCOME IN ADVANCE, GRUBFUCK.

Comments

[tipsygnostalgia]

its kinda rude to cpalsock at people
*capslock
so who r u, umbrages even more pissed off brother or something

also cliffnotes plz

[cancercarcino]

OH GREAT, BECAUSE OUT OF THAT WHOLE FUCKING COMMENTARY I JUST SPENT MY PRECIOUS FEW MINUTES WRITING THE MESSAGE WAS CLEARLY 'HEY LET'S BOTHER THIS GUY BECAUSE OF HIS TYPING QUIRK'.
YES, I AM SO HAPPY YOU FIGURED OUT MY HIDDEN MEANING.
CONGRATULATIONS BULGEMUNCHER, YOU WIN THIS SHINY NEW PIECE OF SHIT WITH YOUR NAME ENGRAVED IN IT FOR YOUR INCOMPETENCE.
AND BEFORE YOU CONTINUE TO SPOUT OFF NONSENSE, JUST KEEP IN MIND THAT I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT THE HELL YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.
IN CASE YOUR THINK PAN IS AS DAMAGED AS THIS 'MUN' OF MINE IS.

[tipsygnostalgia]

wow
u have some issues
lol

thanks 4 the piece of shit w/my name engreaved i will keep it 4ever
*engraved

[cancercarcino]

AND YOU HAVE AN ISSUE WITH TYPING LIKE A COHERENT, SENTIENT BEING, BUT YOU DON'T HEAR ME CALLING YOUR OUT ON IT DO YOU?
OH WAIT, I JUST DID.
NOW WHAT IN THE ALMIGHTY GRUBFUCKING SHIT DO YOU WANT?
BECAUSE I'M GIVING YOU THE BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT THAT YOU'RE BOTHERING ME BECAUSE YOU HAVE AN ACTUAL REASON TO, AND NOT BECAUSE YOU'RE A FUCKING IDIOT.
BUT HEY, IT COULD GO EITHER WAY AT THIS POINT CAN'T IT?

[tipsygnostalgia]

well i was gonna point out that going on a hueg rant is p pointless bc your mun wont really care
but
idk just seeing u fly off the handle at eveery little thing is sorta funny
*every

[ecto_pchoooooooo]

... dude, karkat.
dude.
i don't even know if trolls have blood pressure but i'm still totally worried about yours.

[cancercarcino]

DON'T EVEN START WITH ME, EGBERT.
THIS HAS BEEN GOING ON FOR NEARLY A WHOLE PERIGEE AND WHILE IT'S BEEN TOLERANT AT BEST, I DON'T WANT TO BE STUCK AS SOMEONE'S PLAYTHING.
I'M SICK AND TIRED OF THIS 'MUN' OF MINE AND I'M USING THIS SPACE TO EXPRESS THAT.
SO IF YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE HEAT, THEN GET OUT OF THE PROTEIN PRISON.

[ecto_pchoooooooo]

i can totally handle the heat! i just think maybe you could calm down a little for your own sake, because i am worried you are going to explode your brain with how angry you are. and that would be pretty gross! and also pretty damn sad, because then you'd be dead and i don't think you're anywhere near a quest bed to deal with that kind of problem.

[cancercarcino]

YOU KNOW, THAT'S NOT A BAD IDEA.
MAYBE I SHOULD GET SO ANGRY THAT MY THINK PAN EXPLODES AND I RECEDE INTO A MINDLESS VEGETATIVE STATE.
THEN I WON'T FEEL ANYTHING WHEN SHE DECIDES TO SEND ME TO THE LAND OF FUCKASSES AND HUMILIATION.
OR MAYBE TO THE LAND OF SELF-LOATHING AND SUICIDE.
BECAUSE THAT'S THE REAL NAMES OF THESE 'GAMES'.
NOT WHATEVER TITLE SHE CALLS THEM BY.

[ecto_pchoooooooo]

pff... dude, you know that's not what i meant! also seriously don't do that. i like you better ranting than i would vegatative!

but seriously, don't let the mun thing or the game thing or anything get you down. maybe you'll even meet people you like there, once you're away from all the other trolls and stuff! i know i've been having a blast making friends, and i'm not even in a real game, i just play a bunch of this stupid thing called mafia.

[moirailcompass]

[She holds up a small plaque with an 8]

:33 < does the session really matter that much?
:33 < as long as all our furriends also get out safe and sound
:33 < i think there are lotsa places out there better than the veil

[cancercarcino]

WELL AS A MATTER OF OUR OWN SESSION I GUESS IT DOESN'T REALLY MATTER MUCH ANYMORE.
I MEAN, IS THERE ANYTHING REALLY LEFT TO SALVAGE AT THIS POINT?
BUT AS FAR AS THIS NEW SESSION GOES, IT'S STILL RIPE FOR FUCKING UP, AND ROYALLY FUCKING UP.
SO SOMEONE'S GOTTA BE AROUND IN ORDER TO KEEP THE SHIT FROM HITTING THE WHIRLING DEVICE AGAIN.
AND I DON'T KNOW HOW FAR BACK IN THE TIMELINE YOU ARE SO WHO KNOWS, I MIGHT JUST BE WASTING MY BREATH ON SPOILERS THAT MIGHT NOT HAVE EVEN HAPPENED YET.
BUT FROM WHERE I AM, SHIT IS SORT OF GETTING INTO A BIG DEAL.
SO I DON'T HAVE TIME TO WASTE HERE.
THIS MUN BITCH HASN'T SEEMED TO CATCH ONTO THAT FACT, LIKE THE RETARDED GRUBFUCK SHE IS.

[moirailcompass]

:33 < nah i dont think you have to worry about spoilers
:33 < i guess im just wondering why
:33 < youd work so hard fur this new session
:33 < when you guys can just escape all that crap and go somewhere else
:33 < i mean i know there are some places out there that arent that great
:33 < but going through all that crap again?
:33 < i cant s33 what would make it worth it

[cancercarcino]

OH I DON'T KNOW, MAYBE IT'S BECAUSE I WAS THE LEADER ON THIS MERRY LITTLE QUEST OF FAILURE.
LIKE MANY OF US SEEMED TO FORGET FROM TIME TO TIME.
AND AS THE LEADER IT'S SORT OF MY DUTY TO SEE THIS SHITSTORM UNTIL THE END I GUESS.
I MEAN, JUST LEAVING THINGS WHERE THEY ARE NOW IS SORT OF LIKE ADMITTING WHAT A FUCKING TERRIBLE LEADER I REALLY WAS AND CONFIRMING EVERYONE'S SUSPICIONS OF HOW FUCKING INCOMPETENT I WAS.
AND BESIDES, I HAVE TO GIVE SOME SORT OF GOAL FOR PAST ME TO ASPIRE FOR, AND SHOW FUTURE ME THAT I'M NOT A COMPLETELY LOST CAUSE HERE.
AND I CAN'T EXACTLY DO THAT IF I'M SITTING ON MY ASS AND FONDLING MY HORNS IN ANOTHER UNIVERSE NOW CAN I?

[moirailcompass]

:33 < i guess not
:33 < i mean i think theres still lotsa great things you could do anywhere you go
:33 < but if you really want to s33 things through the end its understandable
:33 < but i think its also good to s33 the silver lining in things
:33 < in case your mun does decide to go through with it

[cherrybombpie]

What a wall of gray text!

[cancercarcino]

OH LOOK, WHAT AN OBVIOUS FUCKING STATEMENT.
THANK YOU FOR CONTRIBUTING SO MUCH TO THIS DISCUSSION.

[cherrybombpie]

I wonder. Do you like making soliloquies that much, or is this a special occasion?

[cancercarcino]

OH YES, THIS IS A TREMENDOUSLY SPECIAL OCCASION.
THIS IS THE DAY THAT I, KARKAT VANTAS, ATTEMPTS TO WRESTLE MY MUN OUT OF HER SOPOR STUPOR AND MAKE HER SEE SOME FUCKING REASON FOR ONCE.
IF ALL GOES WELL, MAYBE I'LL BE ABLE TO TALK HER OUT OF SOMETHING SO BULGE-CHAFINGLY STUPID.
IF I PULL THIS OFF THEN THIS DAY WILL BE CEMENTED IN TIME, AND AS THE SWEEPS PASS THE FUTURE GENERATIONS WILL ALL GATHER AROUND LIKE IT'S THE 12TH PERIGEE'S EVE OR SOMETHING AND HEAR THIS GREAT AND NOBLE TALE.

[cherrybombpie]

You talk funnily. I think you must like the sound of your voice - or rather, the look of your text.

As it is, what is she doing that you are so vehemently against that you're shouting through the computer?

[fireflyheir]

oh geez. so is that what was going on?

[cancercarcino]

YES, JOHN.
THIS HAS BEEN WHAT IS GOING ON.
THIS IS WHAT YOUR CO-FRIENDLEADER-WHATEVER HAS BEEN GOING THROUGH ON A DAILY BASIS WITH THIS SHITTY EXCUSE OF A MUN.
I'M PRETTY SURE THAT'S WHAT I WAS TRYING TO GET ACROSS HERE.

[fireflyheir]

oh, geez
yeah that did seem pretty obvious
is there anything you'd be okay with?
and- i guess that was what you were flipping out over last time we- well sort of- talked?

[cancercarcino]

I DON'T KNOW.
MY MUN IS JUST INSISTENT ON SENDING ME SOMEWHERE WHERE SHE'LL HAVE AN OKAY TIME MANAGING ME I GUESS.
AT LEAST THAT'S WHAT SHE THINKS WILL HAPPEN.
I DON'T WANT HER SENDING ME ANYWHERE AND I'LL TRY MY FUCKING HARDEST TO MAKE HER SEE SOME GODDAMN REASON.

[fireflyheir]

not ready for another adventure yet?
but it'd be good to get some downtime.
if that was what we were getting!