dear_mun | HEY HOW ABOUT SHIPPING YOU WITH

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canon: ms paint adventures

HEY HOW ABOUT SHIPPING YOU WITH

now why in the hell would you go and try a thing like that

forrealz
never happened
never will happen
shits nasty
and while i may be the king of the sluts in my own mind
that is not how im gonna let it go down in the eye arr ell
you dig me mun

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AiN'T MoThErFuCkIn' SeEn yOu nOpE ThAt hArD SiNcE
WeLl
bAd sHiT WeNt aLl fUcKiN' dOwN.

dude that shit gave me severe ptsd
the very concept of shipping me with anybody other than a select few in select situations has become analogous to some serious war flashbacks for me
somebody call in kankri for me
get him in on this
lemme borrow that whistle
im being triggered by my own mun

#never again the blackship times

I 6elieve my presence was requested. What seems t9 6e the pr96lem?

Edited (fail) 2013-11-29 23:23 (UTC)

yeah i need to borrow your whistle
im being seriously triggered by this shipping shit
mun doesnt know how to let up

I kn9w h9w y9u feel. As s9me9ne wh9 prefers t9 lead a relatively chaste existence I find incredi6ly awkward when any9ne tries t9 ship me with 9ther pe9ple. I d9n't think muns understand just h9w triggering it can 6e. Karkat d9esn't seem t9 understand it either, f9r that matter. I think s9metimes pe9ple get s9 excited a69ut certain "ships" that they l9se sight 9f just h9w n9n-sensical th9se ships are.

[Kankri doesn't hand the whistle over though. It's his whistle.]

yeah exactly
huh
weird
youre making sense and were agreeing
thats slightly horrifying

I think we can all agree that unwanted shipping is a pr96lem. Y9u w9uldn't 6elieve the s9me 9f the ships I've had t9 put up with in this headspace. They were m9re than a little h9rrifying.

oh i can believe it
vantases are second place to striders in terms of what my mun considers universally shippable
something about having a fondness for watching you squirm uncomfortably or something like that
you probably wouldnt want to hear about it
shit dude i dont want to hear about it
and im up here with those thoughts
holy wow no

Edited 2013-11-30 02:17 (UTC)

That d9esn't surprise me. My mun has said things that are much w9rse than expressing a f9ndness f9r watching me squirm. His remarks are s9 crude and laschivi9us s9metimes that I a6s9lutely refuse to repeat them. They have n9 place in a p9lite c9nversati9n.

I'm afraid the situation here is the reverse. Karkat gets the brunt 9f the mun's shipping while Dave c9mes in sec9nd. Th9ugh, I supp9se that may 6e 6ecause Dave is relatively new. The mun hasn't had as much time t9 t9rment him.

Yeuuuup. There's species swap shenanigans happening.

tiltshotghostimage - 2013-11-30 03:43 (UTC) - Expand

Awesome.

69ringlectures - 2013-11-30 04:05 (UTC) - Expand

Wherein Dave and Gamzee went into Moirails with Benefits mode.

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Send me a PM if you want? We can exchange contact info.

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Done!

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You Have My Sympathies. Some Days Romantic Endeavors Simply Do Not Seem Worth The Cranial Ache. I Understand Drowning One's Sorrows Is Customary, But All I Have Is Tea At The Moment. [Offers it anyway.]

tea works
you know i am not disingenuous enough to refuse that sort of offer
especially when its cranial ache all the way down and tea helps that

[Shit yes, tea. Note to self: buy Kanaya some really good chai when you got a chance.]

im guessing you deal with this shit all the time then

[Chai is both Kanaya AND her Mun's favorite. Dave has won all the points. She indicates he should join her at the sunny table.]

Indeed. Fortunately My Mun's Shipping Interests Tend To Stay Away From My Quadrants. And Yours, Come To Think Of It. If You Wish To Expound, This Should Be A Relatively Safe Space.

Well, Aside From The Random Eldritch Abominations.

[He does, taking a casual seat across from her to settle in, smile - even if it's a subtle one - and relax a little.]
youre lucky enough for that kanaya
youve got other things you got on your plate
see thing is my mun refuses to see that im pretty damn happy with the shit ive got going as of right now
i dont need any other shit to deal with
it throws me off my fucking groove

My Plate Is Full to Bursting With Many Items of Interest. And Yet One Can Always Seem To Find An Empty Corner To Perhaps Squeeze In One More Bit Of Grubloaf. "Grubloaf," Of Course, Being A Clever Metaphor For "Dave Strider's Problems Which He Has Brought To Present Company's Attention So He May As Well Spill."

[She sips, and arches an eyebrow.]

Edited 2013-11-30 23:55 (UTC)

yeah super clever thanks
er so the real problem right now is that the mun is trying to make it in the game im in so that at some point before he left the meteor me and sollux hooked up
i mean hes a pretty slick guy and im glad to call the smug shit a friend
but he is not tongue in mouth worthy attractive
i am not into him like that

[He takes a sip of his own tea after pouring a cup, deciding to be all SORTS of proper, pinkie out and all.]

[Kanaya notes the extended pinkie and sets her cup and saucer deliberately down on a doily. It is ON, Strider!]

How Very Perplexing. When Would You Even Have Had The Opportunity To Physically Interact? We All Met As A Large Contingent And Had Many Pressing Tasks. There Was Hardly Time To Go Scampering Off For Inter-Species Makeouts.

thats what i keep telling them
there was no fucking time for that shit
and even if there was
its not like id be like hey half dead fully blind guy i barely know
lets see if our anatomy is compatible
like okay maybe he wouldnt have given a shit because strangely i really dont think he would
at least the one of him i know wouldnt
dude is the king of mack daddies
but like no
im not down with the guy of near constant stairs accidents
that is not how i roll

[Oo, fancy. Dave sits with better posture, feet flat on the ground below him, one brow quirked above the rim of his shades.]

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I am now making my best guess about Quadrants because TROLLS SURE ARE WEIRD!

mapsincolor - 2013-12-01 18:45 (UTC) - Expand

That actually jives with what I'd assume too!

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Oops more relationship dissertation! Sorry! :P

mapsincolor - 2013-12-01 19:23 (UTC) - Expand

No worries at all!

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Sideeyes so hard it flips all the way back around to front!

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OH, POOR HUMAN DAVE. YOU CANT STOP PEOPLE FROM SHIPPING YOU. THESE THINGS JUST HAPPEN!!

dont sass me cal
ive seen you in some pretty precarious positions yourself

YOU SURE THAT I DONT JUST LOOK BETTER AT IT THAN YOU??

dude no
you have no idea how deep that nope is little buddy
that is the marianas trench of nopes

HUH, SO THE NOPE IS PRETTY STRONG WITH THIS ONE. ISN'T IT??

MUST BE WICKED BAD. WHAT'S GOT YOUR SHADES IN A KNOT ANYWAYS??

hells of bad
it involves me and a certain dualshock troll and what may or may not have happened prior to his fucking off to chill with vriska and the ghost crew
lets just say im not into him that way
and leave it at that

i swear this mun has a thing for shipping striders and captors
watch out cal
you might get shipped with a bicyclops

SOUNDS LIKE YOU'VE BEEN DOING SOME "TWO TIMING".

HMM, I WONDER IF A BICYCLOPS GIVES TWICE AS GOOD HEAD, SINCE IT'S GOT TWO AND ALL. WHAT DO YOU THINK??

[You've brought on the two puns. Accept your fate.]

depends cal
do you have two dicks

nah man double trouble is just the start of my woes
its what precipitated this thread
but this mun dude i dont even fucking get it
see that gamzee up top there
thats my bro
my homeboy
hes got my back
and they wont stop fucking throwing us at each other with sex in mind

i mean dont get me wrong the guy owns but dude theres a difference between platonic and sexual love and this fucker doing the typing is missing that pretty much constantly

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