HEY HOW ABOUT SHIPPING YOU WITH

[tiltshotghostimage]

now why in the hell would you go and try a thing like that

forrealz
never happened
never will happen
shits nasty
and while i may be the king of the sluts in my own mind
that is not how im gonna let it go down in the eye arr ell
you dig me mun

Comments

[cookinglikeamotherfucker]

AiN'T MoThErFuCkIn' SeEn yOu nOpE ThAt hArD SiNcE
WeLl
bAd sHiT WeNt aLl fUcKiN' dOwN.

[tiltshotghostimage]

dude that shit gave me severe ptsd
the very concept of shipping me with anybody other than a select few in select situations has become analogous to some serious war flashbacks for me
somebody call in kankri for me
get him in on this
lemme borrow that whistle
im being triggered by my own mun

#never again the blackship times

[mapsincolor]

You Have My Sympathies. Some Days Romantic Endeavors Simply Do Not Seem Worth The Cranial Ache. I Understand Drowning One's Sorrows Is Customary, But All I Have Is Tea At The Moment. [Offers it anyway.]

[tiltshotghostimage]

tea works
you know i am not disingenuous enough to refuse that sort of offer
especially when its cranial ache all the way down and tea helps that

[Shit yes, tea. Note to self: buy Kanaya some really good chai when you got a chance.]

im guessing you deal with this shit all the time then

[cal_strider]

OH, POOR HUMAN DAVE. YOU CANT STOP PEOPLE FROM SHIPPING YOU. THESE THINGS JUST HAPPEN!!

[tiltshotghostimage]

dont sass me cal
ive seen you in some pretty precarious positions yourself

[cal_strider]

YOU SURE THAT I DONT JUST LOOK BETTER AT IT THAN YOU??

[tiltshotghostimage]

dude no
you have no idea how deep that nope is little buddy
that is the marianas trench of nopes

[cal_strider]

HUH, SO THE NOPE IS PRETTY STRONG WITH THIS ONE. ISN'T IT??

MUST BE WICKED BAD. WHAT'S GOT YOUR SHADES IN A KNOT ANYWAYS??

[tiltshotghostimage]

hells of bad
it involves me and a certain dualshock troll and what may or may not have happened prior to his fucking off to chill with vriska and the ghost crew
lets just say im not into him that way
and leave it at that

i swear this mun has a thing for shipping striders and captors
watch out cal
you might get shipped with a bicyclops

[cal_strider]

SOUNDS LIKE YOU'VE BEEN DOING SOME "TWO TIMING".

HMM, I WONDER IF A BICYCLOPS GIVES TWICE AS GOOD HEAD, SINCE IT'S GOT TWO AND ALL. WHAT DO YOU THINK??

[You've brought on the two puns. Accept your fate.]

[tiltshotghostimage]

depends cal
do you have two dicks

nah man double trouble is just the start of my woes
its what precipitated this thread
but this mun dude i dont even fucking get it
see that gamzee up top there
thats my bro
my homeboy
hes got my back
and they wont stop fucking throwing us at each other with sex in mind

i mean dont get me wrong the guy owns but dude theres a difference between platonic and sexual love and this fucker doing the typing is missing that pretty much constantly

I would apologize for this, but Dave asked for it.

[69ringlectures]

I 6elieve my presence was requested. What seems t9 6e the pr96lem?

He totally did.

[tiltshotghostimage]

yeah i need to borrow your whistle
im being seriously triggered by this shipping shit
mun doesnt know how to let up

[69ringlectures]

I kn9w h9w y9u feel. As s9me9ne wh9 prefers t9 lead a relatively chaste existence I find incredi6ly awkward when any9ne tries t9 ship me with 9ther pe9ple. I d9n't think muns understand just h9w triggering it can 6e. Karkat d9esn't seem t9 understand it either, f9r that matter. I think s9metimes pe9ple get s9 excited a69ut certain "ships" that they l9se sight 9f just h9w n9n-sensical th9se ships are.

[Kankri doesn't hand the whistle over though. It's his whistle.]

[tiltshotghostimage]

yeah exactly
huh
weird
youre making sense and were agreeing
thats slightly horrifying

[69ringlectures]

I think we can all agree that unwanted shipping is a pr96lem. Y9u w9uldn't 6elieve the s9me 9f the ships I've had t9 put up with in this headspace. They were m9re than a little h9rrifying.

[tiltshotghostimage]

oh i can believe it
vantases are second place to striders in terms of what my mun considers universally shippable
something about having a fondness for watching you squirm uncomfortably or something like that
you probably wouldnt want to hear about it
shit dude i dont want to hear about it
and im up here with those thoughts
holy wow no

Was that troll Dave I caught a glimpse of?

[69ringlectures]

That d9esn't surprise me. My mun has said things that are much w9rse than expressing a f9ndness f9r watching me squirm. His remarks are s9 crude and laschivi9us s9metimes that I a6s9lutely refuse to repeat them. They have n9 place in a p9lite c9nversati9n.

I'm afraid the situation here is the reverse. Karkat gets the brunt 9f the mun's shipping while Dave c9mes in sec9nd. Th9ugh, I supp9se that may 6e 6ecause Dave is relatively new. The mun hasn't had as much time t9 t9rment him.

Yeuuuup. There's species swap shenanigans happening.

[tiltshotghostimage]

believe me dude
the moment i heard stuff about ball gags and nook plugs i tuned it all out
nope
hella nope

i didnt know your mun had a me running around in there
cool
consider my regards sent and my condolences given

Awesome.

[69ringlectures]

9h, I... well, it isn't the w9rst thing I've heard, 6ut that was certainly m9re detail than I wanted t9 kn9w.

There are tw9 9f y9u, actually. 9ne wh9 is y9unger and sh9wed up a69ut a m9nth ag9, and 9ne wh9 is 9lder and arrived just a few days ag9. I was speaking 9f the y9unger 9ne th9ugh. The mun hasn't had a chance t9 d9 anything with the 9lder 9ne.

Wherein Dave and Gamzee went into Moirails with Benefits mode.

[tiltshotghostimage]

no but im sure they went on about it so im glade i tuned them out

yeah i dunno i guess you could say theres several of me too but its all on one account so we all get lumped into the same meta me

so hows it going in sex city dude
bro told me about that

[And he laughed for hours about the thought of Kankri having to do anything. But he's not laughing now, because they're in a similar boat.]

[69ringlectures]

These tw9 have separate acc9unts. The y9unger 9ne is Karkat's age and the 9lder 9ne is ar9und Br9's age. Apparently, he functi9ned as Dirk's ancest9r, th9ugh that's really all I kn9w a69ut him.

N9thing t99 terri6le has happened yet, 6ut I d9n't think it will 6e much l9nger until it d9es. I've met and talked t9 a l9t 9f pe9ple and I'm grateful f9r that. I just can't 6ring myself t9 break my v9w with any 9f them.

[tiltshotghostimage]

oh shit
alpha bro
uh
good luck with that guy

[69ringlectures]

He hasn't p9sed any pr96lem f9r me, th9ugh I haven't sp9ken with him. I d9n't talk t9 the y9unger y9u very much either. I'm cl9ser t9 Dirk actually, which is 9dd c9nsidering the way we used t9 fight.