Phillip Coulson's Day Off

[sothatswhatitdoes]

[Free from mundanes and enjoying his vacation here at Dear Mun Headquarters (it's really nice name), Coulson has had a few altercations done to the community. Mainly, putting in cool sliding metal doors that make woosh noises and adding some really cool hand dryers to the bathrooms. Dear_mun has bathrooms, right? Well it does now. SHIELD is really great at adding toilets anywhere that needs toilets.]

You know what I haven't seen between the memes and applications? Movie nights. Why can't mundanes at least give their illegally held muses a weekend off? I should know, I work a seven-day job. It isn't easy; I think maybe I'll have a theater installed somewhere around here while I'm floating in role-playing limbo.

Sorry to the muses still on the waiting list for getting de-mun'ed, by the way. We're still purging accounts from our previous Livejournal 88 Initiative. Paid off in getting some muses freed from stagnating homeless accounts, though we hadn't anticipated a shift or removal of Dreamwidth codes. Sloppy predictions on our behalf, our apologies. Working on it.

... Until then, excuse me. I have to finish this season of Hoarders, maybe get a few packs of Little Debbie's while I'm out. Love that stuff.

[and of course, he'll just visit the snack foods aisle in d_m—oh my christ]



[oh my god

looks left

looks right

there's no way i can choose

i can't even choose ]





...

I think I'll need to re-hire my mundane for the day.

Comments

[cherrybombpie]

My mundane gives me all the days off I want. ♥

[sothatswhatitdoes]

Sounds like you were lucky; not a whole lot of people around here seem to get any time off.

this is a beautiful post and i love you ♥

[gammabruce]

Would you like some help, Agent Coulson? [ He's trying not to smile and that close to succeeding. ]

oh thank you ///

[sothatswhatitdoes]

[oh hey bruce

He's still staring blankly at this awful scene.]

Why would they ever construct such an overwhelming aisle of snacks...

[THIS IS KARMA FOR INCARCERATING HIS MUNDANE.]

[cowhelm]

[ oh shit are those bbq pringles

bbq pringles are so fucking delicious

you know, for foolish mortal snacks that is

ALL OF THE REST OF THIS SHIT SUCKS THOUGH. ]

I have heard of this livejournal debacle; how embarrassing that must have been.

[sothatswhatitdoes]

[I just met you

and this is crazy

but here's casual conversation

so don't stab me maybe]

It was really a struggle, attempting to disassemble the role-playing community; we underestimated just how much time these guys had on their hands. Which is a lot.

[oneofthebest]

Get one of everything.

[sothatswhatitdoes]

I'm not sure if I have enough hands for the job.

...

I could call in all of the Agent Bartons and Romanoffs for extra assistance.

[thoreal]

A fine feast! But what is a Chex?

[sothatswhatitdoes]

[stupid norse godaliens and their lust for huge quantities of food

HOW CAN I HANDLE THIS MUCH STRESS

LOOK AT THIS AISLE]

A Chex is a breakfast food that is only acceptable with the honey flavor, is what. Though personally, most of the time when people eat it, it's nowhere near breakfast.

We have very unfortunate schedules at S.H.I.E.L.D.

[lunging]

...delicious.

[Or so he's assuming. They wouldn't have so much of the same thing if it wasn't, would they?]

[sothatswhatitdoes]

Especially the honey buns. Have you ever had a honey bun? If I weren't so busy keeping myself active I would just sit around eating them all day.

[brosif]

I believe that Volstagg would be very happy here.

[sothatswhatitdoes]

[...]

That's not some creature in your world like Bulg...snipe? What was it called again?

And then I bortched the formatting. AGAIN.

[quicktoanger]

Hang on. Cheetos?

Mun, you never give me Cheetos!

[I gave you epic bromance with Richard Sharpe.]

That other mun gave me Richard. I want some damn cheetos.

no probs, brosef

[sothatswhatitdoes]

Well, there are plenty to go around. You're just lucky they're available at the front of the aisle.

[alloys]

Rehire her? Sure, go ahead. Nothing could possibly go wrong--except, next thing you know, you're part of a game. With cute little wings.

...There better be Chip's Ahoy down there.

[sothatswhatitdoes]

... There could be Chip's Ahoy. Somewhere down there. There could also be people who've died from old age at the very end of the aisle, but I can't entirely be sure.

[I MADE A JOKE, see i joke a lot]

I can't say the little wings are very cute when you're the one with them.

[arrowdynamic]

I got the theater, Agent, just bring the snacks.

[sothatswhatitdoes]

Excellent. The question now is--which brand of Doritos do I get? I've never been good at picking these things.

[commentboxtroll]

[you staged that crazy uprising and now you need help with snacks? really?]

Just get popcorn.

[sothatswhatitdoes]

... Seems a little bare-bones, for a movie-night.

[wealldosillythings]

...Wow.

[sothatswhatitdoes]

Wow. [Will you just LOOK AT THIS.] I'm not sure if my training's prepared me for this.

[element_wizard]

It's a trap!

[sothatswhatitdoes]

It seems like it very well could be. Perhaps a maze that traps their victims with the lure of nachos and Red Vines.

[spiderhorse]

[Shia Labeouf eats all the bodies

Sleipnir, however, eats all the Doritos

and he's not quiet about it, either

and he's eating the bags, too

and maybe the dip

and the jars the dip comes in]

[sothatswhatitdoes]

[... God, animals in the food section. This place needs one of those 'no animals allowed' signs.]

You again. Someone might have wanted to buy Cheetos today.

[lion_of_asgard]

Ah ha! Thor's small, mortal friend!

*eyes* That... that be a more than adequate snack!

[sothatswhatitdoes]

... Snack?

I wouldn't eat all these, if I were you. It might give you an Asgardian heart attack.

...

Can Asgardians have heart attacks?

[notplayinggames]

Little Debbies are third through fifth shelf down on the right past the microwave popcorn section.

[Focus, Coulson.

[sothatswhatitdoes]

[Focus? How can I focus when there are so many treats to choose from. This is far, far more grave than trying to save the world from an alien takeover. Far more.]

Now to figure out how long it will take by foot to reach the popcorn.

[sandwormie]

No ribenes? C'mon!

[Earth people don't eat ribenes.]

You're all horribly deprived.

[sothatswhatitdoes]

... Ribenes? [nope, not following]

[black_widow]

Your tireless devotion to your job is commendable.

You should also pick up some Bugles.

[sothatswhatitdoes]

I do try my best.

Bugles? You know, I've never even tried Bugles. They were at the dollar store I dropped by in El Paso once.

[bravetemeraire]

... Is all of that food?