maybe... considering newbabylon..........

[bitchinbeanie]

Oh, like you fucking know what you're doing, pulling an AU outta your ass.

Okay, check it out, here's the AU: one day there was this sweet-ass dude named Jan Valentine, right? And his dick wasn't just the size of the Eiffel Tower, no, fuck that. His dick was the Eiffel Tower. (Wait, do these bitches have the Eiffel Tower in this universe? Fuck, I dunno, just go with it.) So anyway, big steely French dong, right, and all the bitches were, like, ooooh! Mr Valentine! Let's go sightseeing! So they did, right up until the President of Titty Island was like, Valentine! We need a monumentally-dicked smooth motherfucker to extract these totally smoking spy-babes that got their asses captured over on Lesbian Peninsula! Why the fuck lesbians decided to live on a peninsula, you would have to ask them. You'd think they'd put their asses down in the Grand Canyon, or some shit. But whatever, this is the story, right, don't fucking question it. So Jan was like, aye-aye sir! And used his giant cock to catapult himself over to Lesbos Peninsula, like a fucking Olympic pole-vaulter. Then?

Orgy.

The fucking end. It's all the backstory you're gonna fucking need, trust me.

Comments

[singlemanlytear]

Charming.

[bitchinbeanie]

That's what I'm thinking! I like the part where I fuck about fifteen thousand bitches at once. Just stacking 'em like kebabs at a barbecue. How about you, what shit tickles your fancy?

[singlemanlytear]

I did enjoy the part about the 81-storey iron tower.

[bitchinbeanie]

I fucking knew you were a man of taste, bro.

[allucinator]

See, the problem with all that is it's too damn long. Ain't nobody gonna stick around to listen to all that.

[bitchinbeanie]

No, fuck you, they gotta listen to that shit. Fuckin' legally obliged and shit.

[allucinator]

Says who? Cuz I'll tell you one thin', I were half fallin' asleep durin' it.

[bitchinbeanie]

Says the law, bitch.

Or says me, anyway.

S'like the same goddamn thing, whatever.

[allucinator]

Yeah, right, okay. Still ain't impressed, bucko, so you might wanna try harder. Or just stop.

[bitchinbeanie]

That's just cuz you're a lesbo yourself.

[survivalism]

... That's quite the overactive imagination you have there, kiddo.

[And of course BB's thinking that's because you haven't gotten laid in a looooooooong time, if ever. Poor guy.]

[bitchinbeanie]

You, my cyclopean brother, are looking at pure, unadulterated truth. You can fucking taste it. In all the verbs and shit.

[survivalism]

Really ...

[If your dick is the eiffel tower, his is godzilla.]

Not so sure if I'd really want to taste it, then. Also, isn't the point of being a lesbian... not being interested in men? [and their imaginary monster dicks.] Your story makes no sense.

[bitchinbeanie]

Yeah, not interested in men, 'til my golden fuckin' dick, like a god-sent divining rod of pussy, changes their minds. See? It's a story of righteousness and the power of cock. Brings a tear to my goddamn eye.

[survivalism]

... You know, I get the feeling it's probably in everyone's best interest if you stay away from women altogether.

fuck yeah i get to use this icon

[oxfordian]

My -- My God.

AND I WILL CONSIDER TODAY A PERSONAL VICTORY FOR IT

[bitchinbeanie]

You called?

[oxfordian]

Your language is astounding, and that is not a compliment.

[bitchinbeanie]

Like you didn't know I'd take it as one anyway, you suave motherfucker. I see what you're doing there!

[oxfordian]

( SUCH SKEPTICISM. )

Excuse me? And what, exactly, am I doing here?

[buttling]

[Oh look who it is. That Millennium tyke.

Walter isn't amused, but he's not showing much emotion at all.]

Your abuse of the English language never ceases to amaze.

[bitchinbeanie]

Dude, bro. If I could edit any one thing outta this totally sweet AU? It's gonna be your wrinkly white ass. Who the fuck wants to envision that? I'll be doing everyone a favor.

Miss Cannon Titties can stay, though.

I do apologize if he seems a little off. I haven't played him properly in ages. ;w;

[buttling]

I'm sure that everyone will quite enjoy your little 'alternate universe'.

[They say that sarcasm is the lowest form of wit, but he doesn't quite feel that Jan deserves any better than the lowest form of anything.

You should give him a reason to pull another lip-ring out; now that will be enjoyable to watch.]

[integra_hellsing]

How unfortunate for the poor souls over at that game, then, should your mun actually send you over there. To have to hear your constant whining and lewd language...

[fondles]

Hmm, at least it's better than sitting around in your mun's head space or being thrown into memes? Going to a place means you get to cause some chaos~