dear_mun | (no subject)

I'm tempted to sing something from your canon but I have a feeling you'd kind of consider it mocking.

If it's anything my dad ever had to say, then...yeah, I don't think that'd make me feel so great.

Yeah I'd imagine. Have you actually looked at the movie though? I mean sure your dad was pretty messed up but who was pulling the puppet strings?

I don't usually look at it, from that perspective, no. But I can assure you, I don't have any respect for Mr. Largo, either.

Well at least you understand that perspective to some point. Oh if you want I could do twenty first century cure; I can more or less respect that grave robber guy. He's got style. Hell I'd probably teach him a thing or two if he asked.

Only when it doesn't count, really. But even without it, I'm not stupid. I know who all the guilty parties are.

Style? Yeah. He'd like hearing that. And that depends. Are you gonna call a fleet of GeneCops down on us, by shouting?

Well I don't see any GeneCops and even if there were I wouldn't be the one at a disadvantage.

Gosh, no wonder you like GraveRobber. That's an attitude I've heard before.

Well when gunshots only manage to stain your favorite shirt you kind of get an attitude like that.

Oh. You're...immune to gunshots? What kind of a surgery does that?

It's not a surgery, it's actually something natural in a way. What we call it is Enlightenment and it's something you have to obtain mostly of your own power but when you learn it there's not much you can't do.

I can't tell you any more than that though.

I'm guessing you're making it sound a lot easier than it actually is, huh?

Yeah it's a trying experience to say the least. Actually I can say it involves trials. It changes a lot about you but whatever that change is it will be your choice to go on that path.

Huh. I guess I sort of know a little bit about that. Or something like it.

Yeah I can tell. It's just a little different and really I don't want to put you through that. Not unless you really need it.

I don't know what I need, at this point. But. Having been through trials of my own, I'm not really looking to dive back into a new set.

I guess a human wouldn't really need it unless they feared for their life.

And I don't really do that so much, anymore.

My writer'd like me to say something adult and thoughtful to you but honestly if you don't like the situation you should just kick everybody the fuck out. As she learned today, there are limits to playing nice.

It's less kicking people and more...not speaking with them, I guess. Limiting my range of contact. ...Again.

...Life is about cycles kid. Eventually you'll find the people who make sense.

I mean you have the god-given legal right to associate with whoever you want for whatever length of time you want.

People can't handle that. [he looks out over the horizon] fuck um'. What-do-you-call-it. Smoozing. It's an art form. You just nod, smile, move on and stick to the people who matter.

Yeah, I'm kinda trying to figure that out. I've met a few new people I like, but. I don't know, it's just...hard, sorta.

Show me a person who isn't still figuring things out and I'll show you a robot.

...Or something that's not human.

...[frown] I'm not one for fucking metaphor but look I mean I was still figuring things out that I let myself get taken over by somebody looking to manipulate me.

I guess I know a couple people who...well, maybe not.

I've already played that game. I mean. Everyone who would have manipulated me is dead, anyway.

A couple of robots? You know robots? ...They're not here to fuck with us right?

[He's trying to tease. it's so awkward. He's not good at it at all.]

[There is a very real flinch at the word "game" but then he smiles.]

Same here. ...Kind of odd isn't it?

[Little smile. She can tell he was trying, at least.] Well, I know one guy whose friends call him a robot. But I don't think he's got anything figured out, either.

Sometimes. The odd part is probably that I'm glad about people being dead.

[He manages a knowing smirk. Which becomes very real when he hears that last remark.

He tries to cover it quickly. The joy of consorting with people in this world of ours.]

..Was it them or you? A matter of survival?

With my dad, yeah. In the end.

It goes away after awhile.

A lot of people are going to think you're fucking callous-refusing to mourn or you know, pity-try and look for another solution but sadly that's the way it is in some situations.

You or them. you do talk like a survivor.

I'm trying to be. I spent most of my life dying and not wanting to. Now that's not, you know, imminent anymore, I'm doing my best to keep it that way.

I guess I don't really care what most other people think. Or at least most of them that I know.

There's a line that my sister used to say. "Those who matter don't mind. And those who mind don't matter." She put it on a big banner in the front of her class for all the kids to look at.

I like that. A lot. And it's pretty true, I think.

The full quote is "be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."

They all came from this book about this little pig thing. Ten bucks at your nearest bookstore. [he studies his hands, remembering.]

as counterbalance to that I'm oblidged to offer the quote she printed on a coffee mug for me. "You don't get Harmony when everybody sings the same note."

However that mug broke, so take from it what you will.

I've never seen that book before. It must be...well, I guess it could be new, it's not really that weird if I haven't seen something.

I think the broken mug might just mean now you have to remember the quote, for yourself, instead of drinking out of it.

...That still pisses me off. Kids should be out making mistakes, not kept from doing it. Growing up may be shit, but on the good days...It's the best..

[he's not going to finish that thought.]

[snort] You're a kid, and you're young. So I'm going to say this once and I think you might get what I'm talking about. Everybody sings notes, you can get harmony yeah-but you can also get discord. Most of the time..unfortunately people get fucking discord. When harmony happens it needs to be preserved, but most of the time...it doesn't.

That's why the first one's much more important. And it's the one more people tend to follow.

Oh, I think I've made enough mistakes to last me a lifetime, in no time at all.

I think I'd rather do the first. I'm trying to sing what I want to sing and I don't really want to worry about how well it does or doesn't blend with everyone on this stupid island.

....[frown. That's all. Just a frown.]

....Picture being somebody who can't carry a tune and being here. Make sure to sing loud enough for those of us in that position yeah?

...Everything is like an opera, where I come from. I'm not sure I know what it's like to not be able to at least sort of sing.

So. [Smile.] I'll do what I can.