dear_mun | somebody shut him up...

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obscure canon: tv shows

somebody shut him up...

Obscure? TV show? ...Right, right. It's not like books've been written, or movies've-- okay, okay, alright movie, no plural there, but it's a darn shame if you ask me because who wouldn't want more of me in their lives? --eh, don't answer that. Don't wanna tire out your scribe.

So what's this you were saying? A vacation? Yeah, yeah, I can do one of those right now. I can do one of those anytime, doll. I-- uh. Next year? Waitaminiute is that four months from now or three hundred sixty-five days from now because that's a biii-i-iig difference in how many chopped up soldier boys I have to patch up 'til then. Oh, c'mon. You've seen a whole three episodes. Even if you'd wanna put me in that little Box thingy, or the Turtle thingy, or the Happy Happy Family thingy, anywhere is better than Nowhere. Even if I have to meet that other Hawkeye that's apparently so popular now-a-days with you young whipper snappers. The pansy one in purple. I mean... just think about it. Think it over. You think you know me but... A nice young lady toying with you-- heck, that's paradise. And you don't wanna submit me to that? What a cruel, cruel world.

Oh, by the way, and that username? A-plus. Gold star. Not even old Ferret Face could think of something as clever. It's not like there's tidbits of interesting and fun trivia thrown around in banter every conceivable second, no. Just make me sound like a potato, why don't ya.

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Being a one-hit wonder really isn't my style.

[He grins at Hawkeye's curiosity on the subject, as he shifts his weight]
Tech genius', gods, radiation monsters, guys with 'wings', and a girl that could knock you unconscious with a wink? Yeah, I'd say it's all pretty juicy stuff I'm not telling you, right now.

[His grin becomes a smirk.] Hey, you never know, I might like the idea of babbling snot....
I don't.

But that's not really the point I'm trying to make here.

See I can't argue with that because it's frighteningly apparent you don't have any style.

[He'd love to say that answered his intrigue but it only sprung up more questions. To say that 'radiation monsters' doesn't even conjure up an image of Godzilla- he's from before even that.

But god damnit, he is going to match that smirk and hold it.]

I promise you I'm very pretty when I babble.

[But yeah, totally not the point.] Sssso when you say this girl packs a wallop, what you means is...?

[Yeaaaaah, here have a the flattest look Clint can muster right now.] You look like that and you're going to say I don't have any style? I was born with style.

[Oh, a smirk off, ey? Well, Clint's more than happy to keep his smirk right where it is.]

I'm sure you come a close second to me. Maybe.

I mean, Natasha is the most dangerous person I've ever met. Both in fighting and being well, she's something you don't hate looking at... Until she is unimpressed with you, anyway.

Have you no respect for a man in uniform? ['s cool, respect goes down the drain when Hawkeye's talking. Offense? He takes none. It's his job to bring disgrace to the army. He'd wear bunny slippers if he had them.]

If that's the truth then I don't wanna live anymore.

[And here is when he lets loose that shit eating grin, a hint of false coyness to boot, upping the tinge of nasally tone for the heck of it.] Oh, she wouldn't be unimpressed with me.

I used to work for uniforms, so that's a no. Although I guess you could say there's one guy in a uniform I respect. Still aint you though.

[But then, most of members of SHIELD never really did anything for his respect.]

Well cheer up, I'm as good too look at from behind as I am the front. So being second could be worse.

[Clint laughs wholeheartedly at that.]

Believe me, if Tony can't charm her, you've got no hope.

Come on sweetheart, now that hurt. I've got nurses back at camp who'd say I'm very much worth the headache.

Did... You just call me sweetheart? [He shakes his head] Yeah, but is it worth the headache and bruising she'll give you.

Because I can tell you for a fact, she's no nurse. [Though, he's pretty sure she's dressed up as one on more than one occasion for secret spy stuff.]

I'm not calling you 'darling' when we haven't even shared a dance. [What do you think he is, easy?]

And I believe you owe Natasha an apology, insisting getting a little banged up isn't the point of this all.

[[OOC: Besides, I linked this on my plurk and people demanded I enable]]

Probably for the best, I'm a terrible dancer. [Clint's starting to think he might be.]

I owe her an apology? No, I really don't think that'll ever be the case between us.

Edited 2013-09-17 02:51 (UTC)

[No style, bad dancing, likes purple- jeez, is he ever glad he's not you.]

There's your problem with her, see. Women love a man who can admit he's wrong. [Like he's one to talk but oh well turning the conversation on its head is half the fun of talking.]

[Hey, there is style just oozing out to the Wazoo. It's not Clint's fault that the Captain here doesn't have the right style to appreciate it]

I don't have to admit anything. She's more than happy to point it all out. Natasha and me, we have a relationship you clearly couldn't understand.

Clearly. [He feels led on- like he was ever even promised those juicy details he can't seem to get.] Clearly you and Natasha are a very special couple. [But hell, he sounds like he's highly approving of it. When you're in the dark, what else can you do?]

Oh, we're special alright. But easy on that couple talk, we don't always do well in that department.

She's mostly just my partner. For work. And occasionally 'in crime'.

[Sorry Hawkeye, you'll be a long time waiting on details between them. Clint always ends up hurt when he talks about it.]

[Oh. Well. In that case-]

It's not uncommon to have certain problems when you're belly-up intimidated by an aggressive member of the fairer sex.

[Hah! Get it? Because Hawkeye's barking out a laugh like that's the funniest shit he's ever heard. Heck, he even turns a little red. He'll also try to slap a hand on Clint's shoulder- please don't maul him, buddy boy.]

So you're 'engaged'. Gotcha. Don't worry, your secret's safe with me. Unless you meant something dastardly like stealing pies out of orphanages when you confessed your evil-doing to me, in which case I'd be under moral obligation to inquire why and stick my nose further into your business. ['Crime', what's that? Just a word in the dictionary. Definition's lost the more it's printed.]

I'm not sure if I should laugh at you thinking I'm intimidated, or at the idea that Natasha could be considered a 'fairer sex'.

Engaged is one way to put it, but really isn't what you're thinking it means here. We work together, for that most part that's pretty much all 'partner in crime' means.

[Whoops. Here's a stern look that can be nothing but mocking.] Bite your tongue! You're built, it's true, but you're certainly no 'babe'.

[And a 'tsk tsk tsk' and a shake of his head. You're dense, Clint, dense. Pierce feels about ready to want to run his hands through his hair in frustration.] I can read between the lines just fine, thanks.

Speaking of reading-- congratulations, I might just be dragged to that zany other-world of yours before the actual planned date. Now don't get too excited, I know I'm not, and don't ask me details because I don't know 'em. The lady upstairs is calling the shots this time around so that's bad luck for anyone involved. Now, I know you'll be full to the brim with excitement but please try to contain yourself. False promises have been known to happen.

[Hell, he doesn't even know Clint's name and nope, he won't be the one asking for it here. He's good with calling the buddy 'pal'.]

Hey, I'll have you know I've been called a babe more than once in my life, thank you.

[He knows that Pierce is trying to call him a woman, but he's still been called a babe, damn it!]

Hey, don't congratulate me on this. [He puts his hands up defensively.] I have no say in what she does with my life, what makes you think I had anything to do with mine talking to yours? I just try and keep enough of a low profile that she only has me in one game, there are others that haven't been so lucky... Well one, but he likes challenges.

I'm so sorry.

[He knows Klinger's condition: it's a bad one. And then he's right back to laughing, like he doesn't even know how lost he'll be without the war driving him on.]

A low profile! Oh, what I'd do to meet that other guy!

Sorry? Why would you be sorry?

[Don't you just love the generation gap going on]

You want to meet him? He's really starting to give me a complex. Well, for a start you'd have to get your self some Pokemon and head on over to route 29. Believe me, ego like his, you couldn't miss him.

I hear slips are very difficult to take off over broad shoulders, and if your high heels are purple too, that's reason alone for lament.

[Excuse him while he ponders. Ah, he wishes he had a drink. ...actually, he wishes he knew more about what he's talking about. Story of his life. Stupid mun, not telling him anything important.]

Poke what, where?

Slip? Oh, woah, woah, woah. I don't wear any of that, where are you even getting that from?

Pokemon, like monster things that fight.

From you, good sir.

Or else I'm just as bad at reading people as I am at reading novels. Gee, I now I know why I flunked that test to be lawyer. [Except for the whole "he never took one" thing, but shhh.]

Things that fight, I'm familiar with. You'll need to tell me a little more about the boogeymen and goblins before I start being frightened of monsters under my bed again. I drove them out with garlic last time. Mother wasn't amused.

I don't at all remembering saying wearing womens things was my thing. So I'm gonna go with bad at reading people.

Well at least you're mother wont have to worry, it's a kids game, the monsters aren't actually scary or anything. At least the pointy yellow thing isn't.

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somebody shut him up...

LOL I just couldn't leave it sitting there

You did done well!

I'm humbled by your praise.

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SO, hey. What's your thoughts on Digimon? /So not on an angle to temp you at all

I was in TT when it started up actually! But can it handle TWO Hawkeyes?

Can it handle two? Probably not. But should that stop them? Naaah

Hah! Like it would. I'll consider it for when I get time :3

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