Lockhart is SHOCKED, APPALLED

[acharmingsmile]

I just can't believe they'd film NEWT SCAMANDER's little booklet before any of my magnificent books! Why, Voyages with Vampires alone has more fantastical beasts than his entire work combined and- and more importantly, look at the man!

Hardly the sort of fellow who'd fill theaters, I'd say! Magical Me moved those who read it to tears, you know, not to mention the beautiful, enchanting photographs of yours truly.

Why aren't my fans rioting against this- this outrage? [ Have a rather... nervous if infinitely more charming than Newt Scamander's smile-smile. ]

I do have a great many fans left, don't I?

Comments

[boilingsuperstars]

They would probably focus on him in his younger years, or whatever you Americans do.

The last vampires we had were kind of evil, so I don't know why you would be traveling with them.

[acharmingsmile]

My dear boy! I happen to be an Englishman. [ Gilderoy chuckles fondly. ]

But you're quite right... but even then, why not a movie about my young- my even younger, cherubic self? That'd be fun, vampires or no vampires!

[boilingsuperstars]

Whoops! Sometimes, we think all white people are from America in Japan.

Having a movie about yourself would be awesome but it would probably only if I was old or dead...if it ever happened at all.

[acharmingsmile]

All the way from Japan, are you? I have yet to write a book on my daring adventures on that side of the globe.

Why, that'd make a wonderful movie as well! [ Wink~ ]

Hah, I am very much in my prime and I think I could easily play my younger self! I hardly look a day over thirty... wouldn't you say~?

[boilingsuperstars]

There would be the problem of ego accusations if you play yourself. Besides, it'd be really weird to do things you did when you were younger. Like, I've done all these amazing things while 13! How would it look to do it at 26, or older!

You did stuff in Japan? I didn't know guys like you were able to be into Digimon.

[acharmingsmile]

I can't think of anyone but me to play me, actually-

Digimon? I beg your pardon, darling?

[boilingsuperstars]

Digital Monsters? You know, those awesome creatures born from computers or something that are shaped like real and imaginary creatuers like vampires. They're so cool, and one of them is my best friend.

Me, to be exactly. What's with the darlings?

[Hey, don't mind the adorable dragon boy shown in the icon. He's just staring at you with quizzical curiosity.]

[acharmingsmile]

Oh... I'm afraid I haven't the foggiest idea what you're talking about. [ Have an especially glitzy smile! ]

That little fellow doesn't bite does he? [ Not so much adorable as downright terrifying, in Lockhart's eyes. ]

Oops, sorry for late reply

[boilingsuperstars]

Oh, so you're not dealing with that.

...pretend I didn't say anything.

[His friends would so have his hide if he blabbed Digimon to a complete stranger]

So you have no idea what computers are?

Nope, I don't bite people unless you really, really piss me off. And I'd much rather do that to enemies and food anyway.

[Gumdramon attempts a friendly smile that exposes his thin, pointy teeth.]

[thegreatergood]

Do you really have fans?

[acharmingsmile]

You can't say that hair of yours wasn't inspired by me, my dear fellow! [ He... doesn't recognize you, Grindelwald. ]

[thegreatergood]

[Gellert looks amused.]

I believe I am before your time.

[acharmingsmile]

Oh... are you really? Well, it is wonderful to meet you!

Are you a fan of mine?

[thegreatergood]

I wouldn't say that. But you may be of some interest as entertainment.

[acharmingsmile]

Why thank you! I'm terribly witty and incredibly good looking and gifted at very nearly everything. [ Teehee. So modest and truthful! ]

[thegreatergood]

You're very confident, aren't you.

[acharmingsmile]

Oh... yes! Isn't that good? [ Gilderoy isn't nearly as bad as he used to be, though. ]

[thegreatergood]

Very good. Although some may think you overconfident when you say how wonderful you are.

[acharmingsmile]

Overconfident, my dear boy? Is there such a thing when one's... ehm, opponent clearly wouldn't win any Most Charming Smile-awards?

[thegreatergood]

I could give you some competition for that. Many people have told me I am very charming indeed.

[acharmingsmile]

[ Tee-hee. No. ]

Really now~! Did you win a great many awards yet?

[thegreatergood]

No, I've never chased awards. I have had more important things to do with my time.

[acharmingsmile]

[ ...more important than awards? Lockhart can't compute. ]

What could possibly be more- did you know I won Britain's Best Dressed Wizard award as well?

[thegreatergood]

So you're proud of these awards you've won?

Wouldn't you want to show them off to the entire world, not just the wizards...

[acharmingsmile]

Why, that'd be just marvelous!

Do you think the Muggles appreciate a nice smile?

[thegreatergood]

I'm sure that they would. You wouldn't mind sharing it then? Your.... talents.

[acharmingsmile]

I suppose I wouldn't! Why, it'd be a shame to let anyone miss out on them. [ Gilderoy doesn't have anything against Muggles, although he does think they could dress a little nicer. ]

[thegreatergood]

You know, we have something in common.

[acharmingsmile]

[ Snappy dressers? Fabulousity? ]

...we do? Is it great hair?

[thegreatergood]

[He grins. They do both have fantastic golden locks.]

Perhaps. But we also share a first initial.

[acharmingsmile]

[ They really do! It gets you places. ]

Oh? Is your name Gilderoy as well? Why, you're not a younger me, are you? [ Gilderoy probably looked something like that, though with far poofier hair and a little chubbier. ]

[thegreatergood]

[There's a laugh.]

No. Not at all.

My name is Gellert. Gellert Grindelwald.

[acharmingsmile]

[ Sadly, Gilderoy's memoryloss and general... absentmindedness prevents him from recognizing that name. ]

Charming name! It's no Gilderoy Lockhart, mind you. [ What is? ]

[thegreatergood]

[He's quite happy that Gilderoy's not freaking out on him. And Gellert finds him still amusing.]

You're very... special. Yes.

[acharmingsmile]

[ Gilderoy freaks out about... different things, like pixies or messy hair. ]

Why thank you! People ALWAYS tell me how special I am. [ This could've been you if you didn't have all that intelligence! ]

[thegreatergood]

[Intelligence has its own dangers.]

I'm not surprised by that.

So what do you aspire to besides winning best smile and best dressed?

[savingpplthing]

I don't think a movie about someone who goes around Oblivating people and taking credit for their work would be very entertaining.

[acharmingsmile]

I-I... ehm. Harry! Aren't you just delighted your old Professor is recovering a little? [ Though very much stuck in St. Mungo's and unlikely to get out anytime soon. ]

[his_nemesis]

I'm actually looking forward to the film myself. As I enjoy Care of Magical Creatures. [He won't say that he hates Lockhart's books, as well as himself.]

How are you feeling, since your back-fired spell?

[acharmingsmile]

Oh, I feel just magnificent, thank you~! [ Have a big smile, Harry. ]

I'm sure it'll be a lovely enough movie but it'd be much better if it starred me, wouldn't you agree?

I look incredibly handsome from all angles and I'm just not sure the same can be said about this Newt chap.

[his_nemesis]

I don't know what to say on that one. [Well, he was going to say no, but didn't want to be rude. This time. Lockhart was a complete idiot in Harry's mind.]

Well, it might be set when Newt was younger. Say, your age perhaps? [A small smirk formed at the corner of Harry's mouth. He was winding Lockhart up mainly.]

[acharmingsmile]

[ You don't need brains when your hair is this shiny, dear Harry. Yours could use a comb or two. ]

If only I looked at all like the man... why, I could play his younger self in the movies with the greatest of ease! But I can't help these dashing, charming looks. [ Woe! ]

[his_nemesis]

[He likes his hair just as it is thanks. Anyway, his father's was just the same.]

What a shame. [More sarcasm.] I think the difference with the film is that the writer actually wrote his own books. Unlike you, of course. Your film would be about taking credit for what other wizards have done.

[acharmingsmile]

[ Gilderoy chuckles nervously, fidgetting with the front of his lilac dressing gown. ] Oh Harry! That is putting it quite harshly.

Your Professor Lockhart wrote of a great many of his own accomplishments as well. No one won that Most Charming Smile Award no less than five, or was it six?, times for me, you know~! That was all due to my own pearly whites.

[proud_malfoy]

[Lucius will now be staring at you, as if he's seen a ghost. You went mad, didn't you?]

What a frivolous waste of money. These Muggles and their films. [He tutted, whilst looking at Lockhart as if he'd stepped on horse manure.] You don't actually expect people to pay to watch this tripe? What's more, I thought you were in St. Mungo's, Lockhart.

[acharmingsmile]

[ ...a little. Gilderoy doesn't remember Lucius, of course. They met all but once. ]

Oh, I quite agree! A movie about one of MY books would be worth every penny, though~!

I am in St. Mungo's, my good man, but I believe the young lady who made me jot all this down feels as though I should be outside for a bit? It's quite puzzling!

[aluada]

I'm sure they will find the time and resources to narrate one of your own adventures some day too, mister Lockhart. Each thing takes its time, that's all.

[acharmingsmile]

Why thank you, darling!~ I DO hope so.

Would you like an autograph? [ Have an especially charming smile, Luna! ]