Apping to Singularity

[eternalscience]

Oh wonderful.

Now you can say your collection is complete. You play all of the ladies in my canon. Do you hear that sound? That is the sound of no one caring. Congratulations on accomplishing absolutely nothing.

Where did your life go so wrong?

Comments

This Munn did not know about this and is geeking out.

[sarcasticpelican]

[The muse? She couldn't care less.]
Well, aren't we all bright and cheerful today?

Yes, let us geek together X3

[eternalscience]

Your attempt at sarcasm leaves plenty to desire. I'm not surprised, really. Besides, you don't know what it is like to have to deal with such a poor excuse for a human being. Trust me, I've seen a few horrible specimens.

Woops I used her PB on that last one. Oh well. Lets have fun geeking about you hopefully getting in.

[sarcasticpelican]

Mine is threatening to turn me into a robot.
I'm pretty sure it could be worse, considering a friend of mine was a pony a short while back...but as fun as it sounds Id prefer not doing that.

I am so hype, you have no idea X3

[eternalscience]

You can't blame your mun for wanting you to be your very best. If I were you, I'd trust her judgement.

XD

[sarcasticpelican]

My very best?
Shed better find me a ship, then.

[eternalscience]

To be honest, you should be thankful that your mun wishes to turn you into a robot. It's an upgrade for the best and really it should be you rewarding her. But, you are human, as far as I can tell. Selfishness is in your nature.

Well thats a burn.

[sarcasticpelican]

Selfish?
Im not the one sending her there on a wim, lady.

As to the upgrade? Depends on your view on what's an upgrade.
For example- what even do robots eat? How the heck am I going to get my morning coffee?

[eternalscience]

We don't eat anything and only crave scientific progression. Just think of how much better your life will be without all those revolting human functions that you've grown so fond of. Eating, sleeping, mating. All a thing of the past so that you can finally start being useful.

If you insist on remaining human, there is another way you can find purpose to your life. I have a few tests in mind...

[charge_sword]

...I don't hear anything.

[eternalscience]

Very good, you've just proven how well you can point out the obvious.
[ clap. clap. clap. ]
Don't get used to that overwhelming feeling of pride. Failure is still a statistical inevitability for you.

[charge_sword]

Actually, that is not true. Failure is never a 100% chance in my case.

I was, though, talking about the fact that I couldn't hear people not caring. Is there a particular sound to it?

[eternalscience]

Yes, in fact there is. It's much like the sound of silence.

Perhaps you should try it.

[charge_sword]

...Thinking about it, I can actually hear you making a lot of blather...

[eternalscience]

Blather? My, someone is making an attempt to use the full extent of their vocabulary. I am merely vocalizing my thoughts on being added to the collective nonsense that goes on in my mun's headspace. Something that I have every right to do.

You, however... Oh. What's this? It says here that you play in A_Facility. How nice. A test subject.

[charge_sword]

It just seems to me that logically I should conclude that you voicing your opinion is the sound of no one caring.

...Yes. What of it?

[ivecoveredwars]

[Frank listens to the small sarcastic outburst with a small amount of curiosity. He nods once it's over, takes out his camera, and takes a snapshot. He doesn't say a single word.

(DRAMA: 200PP)]

[eternalscience]

I should inform you that any image of Aperture Science Equipment become Aperture Science property. As such, I will need to confiscate your camera. Your inevitable compliance is also considered the same as an application into Aperture Science's testing initiatives.

Welcome, test subject.

[ivecoveredwars]

[Ah, frank recognizes that tone. Not quite as sinister as he's used to, but dangerous nonetheless. His grip on his camera tightens subconsciously, and he backs up, in case of her inevitable psychotic breakdown.]

Lady, I don't care who you think you are, you aren't touching my camera. Just stick to complaining, you seem good at that.

[iowntheplace]

Oh for the love of...

[Cave buries his face into his palm.]

Why did I spend all that time and effort pouring you into the main computer if you were just going to put yourself into a humanoid body anyway?

Do you even take care of the facility anymore? Can you even remember HOW? It's literally your only purpose. Might as well have let a turret run the place for all the good you're doing.

[The rest is inaudible, as Cave is now just muttering in an annoyed fashion in his palm.]

[eternalscience]

Sir, I know it might be confusing for someone as -visually based- as you, but I assure you that this form is temporary and for emergency use only. The Enrichment Center is running far better than it ever did under your care.

Cave knows nothing of muns. How do they work?

[iowntheplace]

Oh, yes of course. Which explains why you have the free time to be frolicking about and arguing with voices that aren't really there.

[Cave takes a moment considering the situation.]

Perhaps you've corrupted some of your higher functions in the data transfer to this...thing.

[Cave snaps out of his look of contemplation, replacing it with an inquisitive glare.]

And if the center is running so well, why do you feel the need to use such a poorly designed emergency device?

[eternalscience]

Voices? Oh, I know about voices. I also know about incompetence, and if it were not for the possibility of collapsing time and space, I would love to personally demonstrate how I upgraded the facility's efficiency.

[iowntheplace]

I don't see how collapsing time or space would effect anything. Hell, pretty sure I tested for that at least once. Made everything 2d for a while. Informative.

Anyway, don't change the subject. Why are you out of your aperture approved facility maintenance chassis?

[eternalscience]

Mobility became an issue after a few small incidents. If there were a better option, I would have taken it, but there isn't. So here I am. In this monkey-shaped suit. You can find solace in the fact that it is still superior to a human body in every way. For example: Unable to be poisoned. A very important attribute.

[iowntheplace]

[Cave's eyes widen at the use of the word 'incidents', the rest soaring miles above his head.]

So you DID let the facility fall to pieces! You must have, if you felt it necessary to put yourself in this lesser contraption...can you even see in that thing?

[Face is back to palm now, and he's mumbling in a more depressed fashion then before.]