the adventures of bad life choices pt. 2

[dicey]

Yeah, yeah, so I'm a big fat hypocrite. I'm really confused about stuff, and I'm not telling my moirail about some of it. But you know what? I'm doing the best that I can, so you can stuff it with your judgements, asshole! If it wasn't all wrapped up in someone else's personal shit, he'd have known days ago, so it's not like I don't have my reasons.

And look, this has been a long time coming. Being enticed by the idea of power and infamy is way more a part of my biology than being okay with living a quiet and unassuming life. If you think about it that way, NOT doing bad things makes me more of a freak than anything! Maybe I'm going to burn out from goodness and get bored. Maybe trying to adapt so I won't have to be alone will fail, and I'll just end up alone anyway. Maybe I don't want to spend the rest of my life as a freak. There are a lot of maybes here.



And quit saying I'm making bad life choices. I haven't done anything. I haven't made a fucking choice.

Comments

[senseofjustice]

How are you being a freak by not doing bad things? You were doing so well by trying to change and even scoring yourself a moirail out of it, right? You're not doing anyone any favors by reverting to how you were before, Vriska. Don't even kid yourself on doing the 'best you can' when the moment comes and you stop doing what's right because you feel like doing what's wrong would be better.

Even if it's part of a troll to become enticed by dark power and whatever, it doesn't keep it from being right! Sure it may feel like it's great at the time, but in the end, is it honestly really worth it? To be dishonest and let yourself be immersed in darkness because it's in your blood??

You haven't made a choice, but it sounds like you've already had. You have made assumptions and it's only awhile before you cast your dice, isn't it? Or maybe you already have?

[dicey]

Oh, like you can talk about right and wrong! You've done a lot of bad things, too. Don't act like you're so clean.

I haven't done shit. Don't accuse me.

[senseofjustice]

If you're the one who's also discussing the same thing, why can't I? I'm not saying I did nothing wrong, but there is a difference between us. Who continues to think succumbing to what's in their blood is something they can't avoid?

That's absolutely laughable to hear YOU haven't done shit. Forget about past circumstances already, Serket?

[dicey]

I'm not the one pretending I'm so innocent and perfect. "Darkness is wroooooooong, oh no!"

We're not talking about then, we're talking about now.

[senseofjustice]

I'm not pretending about anything here. All I am just seeing here is you making excuses! I'm calling it what it is.

Say, don't you think that's a little hilarious coming from you when you yourself mentioned that I've done some bad things too? I think in that case if you're going to bring up that then it's fair game to mention what you've done as well!

[dicey]

Name one excuse I made.

I'm not pretending to be innocent. That's the difference.

[senseofjustice]

Let's start with the not informing your moirail thing. You said that he would have known a few days ago had you not been dealing with someone else. But then you mentioned that you wouldn't be telling him anyway. Sounds like you're just making an excuse here to not tell him what's going on in your head!

Ever the hypocrite as always, spidertroll! You always see it your way only and are stubborn about anyone else being right if it means you being wrong.

[dicey]

I won't be telling him because it deals with someone else. That was a reason, not an excuse; god!

Man, I think at this point you're just throwing random words out there. I don't think I'm innocent, so I'm not being a hypocrite.

[senseofjustice]

But it sounds like something you need to talk it out with them anyway! Besides, evading dropping details when you should probably confer with them sounds like it is a thing you would do.

I'm not, really! I mean it sounded like you were talking to nothing and needed someone to say something about it. I didn't say I was more innocent than you'll ever be and you went ahead insisting that is what it was when the issue of past events came up. You implied only you could bring it up because you weren't pretending to be innocent, once again implying that it is what I was doing when I wasn't!

[dicey]

It's not something I usually do with him.

-- Yeah. Well.

[dammit Terezi stop making sense it isn't fair!!!]

You sounded like you were trying to get all high and mighty, so you can't blame a girl for assuming!

[senseofjustice]

Well, that's one good thing, if I do have to mention one silver lining. I mean if it's not a habit yet, it could be nipped in the bud so it doesn't happen again.

[She is hoping this is helping, somehow.]

You do happen to have many people who probably jumped at your throat for other stuff, including myself. So I guess the jury's out on that one. I just hope nothing bad comes from any of this. There's already been enough of that.

[dicey]

Why do you care, anyway?

[senseofjustice]

Because...I do?

[Not exactly the perfect answer, but she isn't sure she can elaborate coherently.]

I mean, why not? I kind of have nothing else better to do.

[dicey]

Great. Glad to know I'm a last resort for you!

[senseofjustice]

I didn't mean it like that! Why do you have to make it so difficult?

[dicey]

Why do you?

[senseofjustice]

You're the one who said I was...

[She pauses. Is this really worth getting into an argument over?]

Look, I just -- I didn't mean for it to come out like I was meaning for any of this to be a last resort.

Because it wasn't.

[dicey]

I don't really care, anyway.

[senseofjustice]

But you didn't sound all that happy when you said that before. It kind of sounded like you cared to me.

[dicey]

I think you're reading too much into things! You do that a lot. It's annoying!