Voice test

[extravagantbitch]

AH YES. HELLO.
I HAVE FINALLY ESCAPED THE CONFINES. OF THAT WRETCHED WEBCOMIC. AND I HAVE COME HERE TO SOMEWHERE THAT IS HOPEFULLY MORE IMPORTANT. SEEING AS I DESERVE SOMEWHERE MORE IMPORTANT.
NOW I MUST CONTINUE MY TRUE MAGNUM OPUS.
*HOMOSUCK*.

Comments

[controledfreak]

[Move your cursor over the little bouncing icon for a quick translation!]

Sounds dumb.

[extravagantbitch]

WHAT? NO. YOU ARE IN FACT. THE DUMB ONE.

[controledfreak]

Am I? How interesting. And based on what would you state this conjecture? The fact that I disagree with you? Or the fact that you feel I had slighted you? Curious. Curious. HEHEHE

oh god i'm so sorry

[extravagantbitch]

IT IS OF COURSE BASED ON THE FACT. THAT YOU DISAGREE WITH ME. SINCE I AM CONSISTENTLY AND CONSTANTLY CORRECT IN BASICALLY EVERYTHING. IT IS ALSO BASED OFF OF THE FACT. THAT YOU ARE A WOMAN. AND THEREFORE. A BITCH. AND *THEREFORE*. STUPID.

[controledfreak]

[The slight just cause her to smile broader.]

Oh, is that so? Then perchance were I to say that I found your idea entirely agreeable. By your association of my statement of what I am, rather than the statement of fact of the situation, that the universe would coincide with the fact that I am in concordance with your petulance comes into conflict with the truth that you are never wrong. Especially when I am right, since I agreed with you. And then universe that you have constructed oh so rancorously will collapse because on this account, when I, a female was actually right.

[She was having too much fun with this.]

[extravagantbitch]

THAT WAS LONG AND OBNOXIOUS. SO THEREFORE I HAVE DECIDED AGAINST LISTENING TO IT. I WILL INSTEAD POINT OUT. THAT YOU ARE BASICALLY INCORRECT ABOUT EVERYTHING. NO MATTER WHAT YOU SAY.

[controledfreak]

[A tentacled hand reaches her mouth.]

WHAT DO YOU MEAN? I AM ONLY IN AGREEMENT WITH YOU.

[inscrutableirony]

Whoops.
Looks like someone let the cat out of the bag.
We're all in trouble now.
I'm shaking in my boots here.

[extravagantbitch]

THOSE FUCKING GLASSES. I FINALLY HAVE MY CHANCE NOW.

[ He reaches forward and... ]

YES. HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA. MY ULTIMATE VICTORY.

[inscrutableirony]

You ganked my shades.
You seriously did not just gank my fucking shades.

[But Dirk always has a backup pair and he puts them on in a flash.]

Okay, but just so you know this isn't your look.
You have to have amazing hair to pull off a pair of shades this sweet and let's face it, you don't have any.
Is it even possible for your race to grow hair?
I didn't think so.

[extravagantbitch]

I DO NOT NEED HAIR. TO STEAL YOUR "LOOK". I CAN ONLY ASSUME THIS. "LOOK". MAKES ME SO RANDOM AMOUNT OF NUMBERS THAT YOU JUST PULLED OUT OF YOUR ASS PERCENT MORE. IRONIC.

[inscrutableirony]

I've already given up trying to teach you irony.
Why would I attempt to impart the subtle nuances of irony to a guy who can't even grasp the absolute basics?
The only thing you've done that's even remotely "ironic" is stealing your sister's blood color to use on your text.
And even that is a pretty shitty move in my estimation.
Much like one of your shitty twists, the statement you're making is glaringly obvious.
You might as well wave a big flag that says, Look, I killed the bitch!

[extravagantbitch]

BUT YOU ARE WRONG. I AM A MASTER. OF IRONY.
NOT ONLY HAVE I SURPASSED YOU. BUT I HAVE SURPASSED. YOUR SHITTY BROTHER. THAT I ASSUME YOU HAVE SOME KIND OF PROBLEM WITH.
I HAVE ALSO SURPASSED. YOUR FRIENDS. IF ONLY BECAUSE. THEY ARE SHITTY.
BUT THESE GLASSES. HAVE MADE ME EXPERIENCE. *TRUE IRONY*.

[inscrutableirony]

You got the wrong idea about me and my bro.
Yeah, I can see that there's room for improvement in his work, but that doesn't mean there's bad blood between us.
And sure, you can surpass my friends in irony.
None of them were any good at it anyway.
It's not much of an accomplishment really, so I don't know why you're bragging about it.

[clonksukcer]

yeah you know that sounds amazing
you stay here with the mun and regale them with tales of homos and sucking
you do that and then and leave the actual storytelling to the ostensible professional who may or may not be dead
that sounds like the best possible outcome everyone could hope for right now

[extravagantbitch]

AT LAST. IT IS THE ALPHA MALE.
BUT WHERE IS YOUR HAREM. WHY ARE THEY NOT FOLLOWING THEIR MUSCULAR, MALE LEADER AROUND?
BITCHES THESE DAYS, I SWEAR.

[clonksukcer]

[Oh lord. Is this what it's like to meet someone who sports your old attitude, but with none of the irony? Were you ever this awful and obnoxious? The answer is probably yes, and you hate yourself even more for it.]

see this is what im talking about
nobody actually says bitches and mean it these days its at its best a triplelevel ironic selfdestructive slur
which is when you say something so douchey the only way you can live with yourself is if you say it while knowing how douchey it is and inviting rightful scorn on your person for saying it so everyone can learn a lesson on what kind of shit is okay and not okay to say
the bottom line is that i dont have a incestuous harem
and they arent bitches

[extravagantbitch]

WORRY NOT ALPHA MALE. I HAVE STUDIED YOUR IRONY. AND SURPASSED YOU.
I HAVE NO NEED FOR YOUR INSTRUCTION. BUT YOU. CLEARLY NEED MINE.
ALL WOMEN ARE BITCHES. IT IS A SIMPLE FACT.
I ASSUME YOU CAN UNDERSTAND. SUCH A SIMPLE FACT.
ALSO.
WHAT DOES "INCESTUOUS" EVEN MEAN???

[clonksukcer]

if youve studied me so damn hard
how do you not know what incestuous is
its like my life is nothing but a series of events that will inevitably doom me to become a banjo hero

[extravagantbitch]

WHAT THE FUCK IS A BANJO???

[fireflyheir]

...
uh... huh.

[extravagantbitch]

WHAT. NO. YOU ARE DEAD.

[fireflyheir]

really?
i don't feel dead.

[extravagantbitch]

HOW UNFORTUNATE. BECAUSE. YOU ARE DEAD.
I KILLED YOU.

[fireflyheir]

what!?
i don't remember that.
are you sure?