dear_mun | dragging this muse out kicking and screaming

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dragging this muse out kicking and screaming

yes because inviting yet another strider to wax poetic on this forum is exactly what this place needs
you muns just love to cream yourselves over strider man pain
oops was that supposed to be a secret looks like the cats out of the bag
just too many claws man you cant keep that beast contained
that is one dirty cat too yall need to learn to keep better care of your pets
but seriously the strider obsession is flattering and all
were choice specimens i know but there is such thing as too many god damn striders
yeah yeah i know its a real shock it cant be true how will you go on without literally every asshole with shades all up in here
but there comes a point where there is way too much long rambling metaphors in red and orange
and you went and picked me on top of that like what the original wasnt messed up enough for you or something

speaking of if you wanted me on your good side picking that username wasnt the smartest idea just fyi
pretty sure there is no way you can call someone who isnt a messed up perverted freak broken and expect them to be at your beck and call and bowing at your feet all yes mun here i am please use me for your messsed up wims
go ahead and fuck my life up even more what i care im already half bird and a game construct
what could you possibly do to me to make things worse at this point
dont answer that

at least i know im pretty safe from getting sent somewhere long term
even you have enough of a brain to realize you already have a shit ton of more important things to do than fuck around with me
you have to handle dealing with shouty mcswearsalot already and i dont envy you that one
im just gonna go ahead and call this little piece of your headspace and label it feathery asses only zone
vantas unless your ass has suddenly sprouted feathers you do not get to crash it
if i get to be the boohoo tragic backstory guy in here you best believe im fucking working it
gotta have my silent brooding corner thats pretty much a requirement

but uh
there's a tiny little post-it note taped on
which basically says
that maybe if bros around
or rose or john or jade
i wouldnt mind them crashing the oh woe is me pity party while im around
and even if youre not them i guess you can come in too as long as youre not an asshole and i dont talk shit about my friends or something
so hit me up if you want i guess

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

what about me
can i crash the pity party 0u0

yeah youre allowed
the pity partys in need of a good crashing
and i guess youre my savior
ill just bat my eyelashes as i swoon
ooh mystery troll i dont know oooh
crash that party faster mmm yeah

you are a troll right
your typing is approaching ridiculous levels of normal for one of those guys
then again supposedly theres a ton of you and i only really know two of you
this is going to be all kinds of awkward if youre just some random person

haha yes i am a troll
my name is aradia! and of course i know yours is dave
and yes i used to have a typing quirk but i dropped it when it no longer really represented me

hey aradia
you sound pretty chill for a troll
isnt that kind of a radical move
i thought you guys sort of had to have your weird typing thing and stick with it for all eternity no matter how obnoxious or seizure inducing

well thanks :)
it was kind of radical but i had just been through a pretty radical change myself
so it seemed appropriate

oh yeah
tell me about it
was it as radical as becoming a bird sprite
if so you have won the award for shittiest time transforming into weird shit
congrats
youve stripped me of my title but somehow i cant bring myself to be sorry about that

FUCK YOU, YOU CONTEMPTUOUS PRICK!
I'M CRASHING YOUR SHIT ANYWAY!
JUST TRY TO KEEP ME OUT WITH YOUR SHITTY SWORDS SKILLS AND INSISTENT DOUCHEBAGGERY.
OH WAIT, YOU CAN'T DO IT CAN YOU?
DID YOU SERIOUSLY THINK THAT OUT OF THE MYRIAD VERSIONS OF ME ON THIS FORUM NOT ONE OF THEM WOULD READ THROUGH YOUR DOUCHY ORANGE TEXT AND BE OFFENDED BY YOUR INSULTS?
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER I'M TALKING TO A MASTER IDIOT HERE, OR JUST ANOTHER BIRD-BRAINED ASSHOLE.
DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU CAN DO WITH THAT FEATHERY ASS OF YOURS?
YOU CAN TAKE YOUR "FEATHERY ASSES ONLY ZONE" LABEL AND SHOVE IT IN THERE!
I CAN'T THINK OF A BETTER PLACE FOR IT.

haha oh my god
you are just as awful of a conversationalist as i remember
a+ angry rant dude
pretty sure it says on the post-it note that anyone can come in as long as they don't fuck with the friends or otherwise be a complete douchebag
now right now youre on the fast track to douchebag city dude and this train is rapidly approaching the end of the line
choo choo next stop beat karkats ass ville

oh omg bird-brained wow what a creative insult you got there
get it
cause im bird themed
cue laugh track
dude i just like messing with you
i kind of knew mentioning you was basically a guarantee that at least one of you would show up to complain about it
what do i care
you're awful at holding a conversation but ngl youre pretty fun to talk to

also if you want me to stuff things in my ass so bad you can do the honors you know
but be gentle its my first time

YOU WOULD KNOW ALL ABOUT DOUCHEBAGS SINCE YOU'RE THE BIGGEST ONE THERE IS.
FRANKLY, I WOULD LOVE TO SEE YOU TRY TO BEAT ME.
IT WOULD GIVE ME AN EXCUSE TO GET THE SICKLE OUT
AND GIVE YOU THE FULL-ON VANTAS ASS WHOOPING THAT YOU SO RIGHTLY DESERVE.
AND I MEAN THAT IN A METAPHORICAL WAY AND NOT A LITERAL ONE YOU SICK FUCK.
HOW WOULD THAT EVEN WORK?
DO YOU EVEN HAVE AN ASS UNDERNEATH THE BIRD PARTS AND THE GAMING CONSTRUCT?
WAIT, FORGET I ASKED.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW.
SERIOUSLY, DON'T TALK ABOUT IT STRIDER.
I KNOW HOW MUCH YOU LOVE TO HEAR THE SOUND OF YOUR OWN VOICE
BUT YOU SHOULD REALLY LET THIS GO.

nah man the title is all yours
accept your douchebag crown
ill just have to be content with second place

vantas ass whooping huh
are you sure you meant it in a metaphorical way
because it sounds to me like someone has an obsession with my badonkadonk
its alright youre not alone it is one fine piece of work
but my ass is bashful so youll need some tickets to see the show
if it was hanging out putting on a show all the time i would have had to give it a strict curfew
and maybe put on some pants

but seriously dude try me
im a fucking sprite and i can fly
plus my swords are totally awesome and theyll destroy your rusty ass sickle any day

Edited 2013-08-19 02:41 (UTC)

WHAT NO.
YOUR ASS IS THE LAST THING ON MY MIND.
LIKE IF THERE WERE AN ACTUAL LIST OF THINGS ON MY MIND
YOUR ASS WOULD BE THE VERY LAST THING ON THAT LIST.
WAIT, NO. IT WOULDN'T BE THERE AT ALL.
YOUR ASS WOULD BE A NON-EXISTENT THING ON THAT LIST.
LIKE IT ISN'T EVEN A THING.
YOU HAVE NO ASS, STRIDER.
THERE IS NOTHING TO PARADE AROUND OR SELL TICKETS TO.

FLYING WON'T SAVE YOU.
AND SO WHAT IF YOU'RE A SPRITE?
THAT DOESN'T MEAN SHIT.
I'VE ALREADY KILLED SO MANY FLYING ASSHOLES.
THERE ISN'T ANY TACTICAL ADVANTAGE HERE.
YOU MIGHT AS WELL GIVE UP BEFORE I SLICE YOU SIX WAYS FROM SUNDAY.

uh huh
you just keep telling yourself that
its okay denial can be sexy we can make it work
also my ass takes total offense to the idea that it doesn't exist because it sure as hell does even if only in my heart

dude sprites are wise as shit
i have experience and a shit ton of game faq and facts under my belt
yeah well so have i so were even
youd love it if i gave up which is precisely why i have no intention of doing any such thing
sorry youre out of luck

SOUNDS LIKE SOMEONE IS ALL BUTTHURT OVER HIS ASS AND IT'S EXISTENTIAL ISSUES.
THAT'S OKAY, WE CAN WORK WITH THIS.
IF YOUR ASS IS IN YOUR HEART THEN MAYBE WE CAN CUT THE BASTARD OUT OF THERE
SET IT OUT ON A SILVER NUTRITION PLATEAU OR SOME SHIT
WHERE EVERYONE CAN SEE IT.
YOU'D LIKE THAT WOULDN'T YOU?
THEN YOU CAN CHARGE ADMISSION AND EVERYTHING.
AND WHEN THE GRUESOME SPECTACLE IS OVER I'LL SERVE IT UP TO YOU
YOU'LL BE LIKE A DUDE ON BUTLER ISLAND
GETTING SERVED A HEAPING HELPING OF HIS OWN ASS.
I'LL SERVE YOU SO MUCH YOU'LL GET SICK OF THAT SHIT
AND WISH YOU NEVER HAD AN ASS AT ALL.

i challenge you to think about not having an ass and then imagine trying not to grieve for it
come on if you had as nice of an ass as i had how could you not mourn its passing

jesus christ vantas that is a really horrifying metaphor
but hey we can make it work
as long as i dont have to eat out myself im not big on selfsest as far as i know
i guess seeing a lot of dead daves with super dead dongs will do that to you
i will totally charge admission though if i survive the open heart surgery
you better leave flowers by my bedside

Edited 2013-08-19 21:11 (UTC)

OKAY, I ACKNOWLEDGE THAT I MAY HAVE GONE A BIT FAR WITH THE ASS ANALOGY
BUT YOU SET YOURSELF UP FOR THAT.
IF YOU GIVE ME AMMO I'M GONNA TO USE IT.
AND YOU WERE GOING ON ABOUT YOUR ASS BEFORE I EVEN GOT HERE.
BUT IT'S OBVIOUSLY SOMETHING YOU'RE SENSITIVE ABOUT
SO IF YOU STOP TALKING ABOUT IT I WON'T BRING IT UP AGAIN.

AND LET'S NOT GET INTO SELFCEST EITHER.
YOU KNOW THAT'S A THORNY SUBJECT FOR ME.
I DON'T KNOW HOW YOU DEAL WITH ALL THE EXTRA DAVES
BUT HAVING MULTIPLES OF ME ALL OVER THE PLACE IS THE WORST THING EVER.
I CAN'T EVEN BEGIN TO DESCRIBE WHAT HAPPENED THE FIRST TIME I TALKED TO ONE.
LET'S JUST SAY THAT THE CONVERSATION WAS SUFFICIENTLY HORRIBLE
AS TO NOT WARRANT ANY FURTHER EXPLANATION.

ill give you props for that man
not using ammo is just a crying shame
dude no seriously its fine
i mean yeah we can stop talking about my ass now
but im not that sensitive about it
there are a lot of issues i have with myself and not having an ass is at the very bottom of the list

sure whatever dude
that shit aint everyones cup of tea and its not mine either so i dont judge
its kind of cool actually
dave kind of gets me in a lot of ways since hes almost but not really me so its pretty fun to shoot the shit with him sometimes
mostly it just sucks because you know all those daves that arent the alpha are doomed
and youre going to see them as a dead body at some point
come on spill vantas i know you want to
if it was that horrible youre probably so eager to tell the whole juicy story youre pissing your pants

DOES THE ALPHA TIMELINE EVEN MATTER HERE?
THERE ARE SO MANY MULTIPLES FROM SO MANY DIFFERENT POINTS IN TIME THAT I'M STARTING TO THINK IT DOESN'T.
AND MOST OF THE PEOPLE I'VE TALKED TO SEEM TO BE FROM THE ALPHA TIMELINE
EVEN THOUGH THEY MAY OR MAY NOT STAY THAT WAY.
AM I ALPHA KARKAT?
I DON'T KNOW.
IT SEEMS SILLY TO ASK.

AND IT WAS A HUGE CLUSTERFUCK, OKAY?
WHAT ELSE WOULD A CONVERSATION WITH MYSELF SOUND LIKE?
I WAS TALKING TO FUTURE ME, AND WE ALL KNOW WHAT AN ASSHOLE HE IS.
I WANTED TO STRANGLE HIM HALF THE TIME
AND THE OTHER HALF I THOUGHT WE MIGHT AS WELL STOP SCREAMING AT EACH OTHER AND HAVE A BIG FUCKING HATESNOG.
BECAUSE THAT'S WHERE THE CONVERSATION WAS HEADED!
BUT THERE WERE PEOPLE AROUND AND IT WAS EMBARRASSING.
I COULDN'T MAKE OUT WITH MYSELF WHILE FUTURE DAVE, FUTURE VRISKA, AND FUTURE GAMZEE WERE ALL WATCHING.

yeah it kind of does
i mean maybe not here
but eventually our muns are going to get sick of us
its not their fault its just a thing that eventually happens
when were not here anymore the alphas go back to their adventures or whatever important shit they were up to
meanwhile everyone else goes back to being a dead b waiting to die or c dying
i hope for your sake youre the alpha
like you said there could be multiple alphas here since some of them are on different places on the timeline
i dont know time really isnt my thing anymore

oooh wow naughty naughty
just sloppy makeouts of hate right there in front of dave vriska and gamzee
i bet you could have done it
they probably wouldnt have even blinked
so what is it not embarrassing to have hate makeouts with yourself when the two of you are alone
but somehow when theres other people around you turn into a blushing maiden
oh no future karkat my hate not in front of the others
my innocence will be tarnished forever

THAT'S WHAT I MEAN, HERE
WHERE THERE ARE PROBABLY A DOZEN DIFFERENT VERSIONS OF ALPHA EVERYONE
AND NOTHING WE DO MATTERS BECAUSE WE'RE ALL GOING BACK TO THE SAME TIMELINE ANYWAY.
IT WAS CONFUSING ENOUGH HANGING OUT WITH MULTIPLES FROM DOOMED TIMELINES
BUT NOW THAT THERE ARE MULTIPLES FROM DIFFERENT POINTS IN TIME ON THE SAME ONE IT'S BATSHIT BANANNAS.

YOU DON'T GET IT.
IT ISN'T ABOUT INNOCENCE OR ANYTHING REMOTELY SIMILAR YOU STUPID FUCK.
VRISKA WAS TEASING BOTH OF US FROM THE VERY BEGINNING.
NOT FIVE MINUTES INTO THE CONVERSATION SHE SHOWED UP OUT OF NOWHERE AND SAID, Now kiiiiiiiiss!
SO I SAID NO.
I'M NOT PROVIDING ENTERTAINMENT FOR THAT BITCH.
I DON'T KNOW, MAYBE GAMZEE WOULDN'T HAVE CARED
BUT FUTURE ME AND FUTURE DAVE HAD A THING
AND WE'VE ALREADY ESTABLISHED THAT HUMANS DON'T UNDERSTAND CALIGINOUS RELATIONSHIPS.
AND YEAH, OKAY, I'VE ARGUED WITH MYSELF BEFORE IN SOME VERY PUBLIC MEMOS
BUT THAT WAS DIFFERENT.
THERE WAS NO THREAT OF ME ACTUALLY MAKING OUT WITH MYSELF BECAUSE WE WEREN'T ON THE SAME PHYSICAL PLANE.
BESIDES, IF I LEARNED ANYTHING FROM THOSE MEMOS IT'S THAT I SHOULD STAY AWAY FROM MY ALTERNATE SELVES
BUT SOME OF THEM ARE JUST TOO FUCKING OBNOXIOUS TO IGNORE.

do alter teen moms get invites for crashing
cuz i might be sad otherwise
i love crashing on alter sons that i apparently have in droves
and adopt em for the alter family all official unofficial like
its a thing i do now
in the meta space
ur adopted even if u make me sad and not let me crash fyi
and ill crash anyway because feathers are all sorts of comfy for lounging in
so u should just let me crash and save the trouble

hell yeah come on in
sweet you can finally resolve my mommy issues
one less tragedy in my sobworthy backstory hell yeah
i am so down for adoption im sitting there in my little cardboard box on the side of the road in the rain
looking up at you with big eyes
how can you resist

sorry about making you sad
i tend to do that to people a lot
im working on it
my feathers are the comfiest you know it
pillows dream of being me
im used to babysitting sleeping people i wouldnt mind getting some snuggles in too with alter mom why not

i am here to fix all the mommy issues
every1 should have a mom its way too sad otherwise
and how can i resist a cute thing in a box
all youd need is kitty ears and youd be adopted so fast that people would think im the time player cuz it was so fast it was like going into the past
tho ur adopted pretty fast anyway just not breaking space time with it
barely

luckily u didnt cuz i get to crash and thus there is no sad
progress is being made
and snuggles are the absolute best
made even more bester with comfy feathers

dude naw i cant have cat ears
i know you lalonde ladies love your felines
but birds and cats dont mix
except jaspersprite hes chill
youre just gonna have to learn to love the feathers and the regular ass ears

hell yes no sads allowed in the feathery ass zone
you know it
i am the snuggle king that could have been my sburb title king of snuggles
sounds like a lot more fun than knight of time ngl

it would probs be some instinct confusion
oh well
the wings are pretty awesome anyway
look like an orange angel
its pretty sweet

king of snuggles should be a legit title
and way more fun and less headache inducing
time stuff gives me headaches and i dont even get all the infinite loops you time players get
king of snuggles sounds like youd be doin the opposite of headaches
helping people get over them and all the other bullshit the game pulls

thanks
you know i swooped down from heaven to see you baby
or some other really cheesy angel pickup line take your pick
oh wait ick no that kind of is really nasty considering youre like my alter mom
but hey ive got to get my awkward flirting out now
ive been on a ship with consorts my best bro and my ex for years

we should totally strike or something
make signs with these catchy ass slogans
sburbs will crumble in the face of our marching and picketing
its not so bad once you get used to it
the complexity of the loops and stuff
mostly it just sucks cause of all the dead bodies involved
nah therapy is roses thing but i guess i could contribute
some snuggles never hurt anyone
except vantas he might have a ragegasm or something

oooo mister strider oooo
eh theres a certain point after growing up around aliens that makes it seem not weird
or it never seemed weird and the fact it was weird seemed weird
u know that whole weird confusing things with societal stuff
besides cheesy angel pick up lines are cute

snuggle aspect for our struggle
always wanted to do a picketing thing
seemed like fun with chants and marching
ugh
dead bodies are the worst
dont know how u guys can stand it
and snuggles are the best and good for making everything better
rose can just dig out the root and u can make people have enough sanity to do that
tag team those problems
i dunno he always seemed to do well with my snuggles but those were 'we might be freezing to death' in the meme lands.

yeah i imagine growing up around aliens would make things way weird
kind of like how turning into a bird sprite thing makes you kind of weird in these really stupid ways
haha alright then let me whip up another one
except its kind of hard because most of those angel pickup lines dont work with me as the angel
like heaven must be missing an angel is a good one but if im the angel then that doesnt exactly flatter you
unless you know you want me to flirt with myself
which is just weird in any universe even if you were raised around aliens
wow okay i am thinking way too hard about this

yeah that rocks we could come up with a whole rap too
maybe a comic strip expressing our righteous fury that snuggle isn't an aspect
we cant stand it
thats the thing
seeing yourself dead that many times kind of fucks with you
dave might try to tell you he isnt bothered by them but hes lying
neither of us are the kind of hardasses that wouldnt be bothered by seeing our own corpses lying around
well rose and i do make a good team
it wasnt really complete though that was the whole problem in the first place
it needs to be all four of us
and now im just the awkward fifth wheel
plus im just about the last person youd want trying to solve your problems
i cant even deal with my own issues

oh my god
youve snuggled vantas
i need details
its story time alt mom lets go
this sounds like its going to be a hell of a tale

bird sprite is a whole new lvl of weird yeah
but i am sure u have adjusted as well as can be expected
being a cool strider dude and all
u have clearly never seen dirk and lil hal talk then
pretty sure those two have some serious hateflirting going on
but theres no other dave to flirt with so its not as voyueristically entertaining to do that now

we could though i am not even gonna lie
my raps suck
tried a few times and i think if i had dirk on video chat at the time he would have been visibly wincing
i can do some of that jpeg drawing shit though

and of course its gonna fuck with u
no one fights that hard to survive and be okay seeing their own dead body about
not to mention all that red...

i dunno about that
i mean u helped them do a lot of stuff didnt u
and even if theres players the other people are important to
i know id be wrecked without fefeta
and dirk and i probably wouldnt have even survived if we hadnt met calliope and shes not even part of the session
hell fefeta and calliope have done more to make our game session a success than us four
fefeta got me all functional and calliope is how we know to get godtier and even if trickster shit sucked it did get us where we needed to go and let us make our bonds of friendship and all that
anyway what im sayin is dont sell urself short
just cause ur not a player doesnt mean ur not vital to the shit thats getting done
and dont worry about having trouble with ur issues
i think that might be a family trait

well there was meta meme space involved so theres some fuzzy on the details of how stuff happened
but yes i did
2 different vantas in fact
one was all cute and protective cuz he was all like
'YOU ARE SQUISHY HUMAN AND I AM A TOUGH TROLL'
'YOU TAKE THIS BLANKET AND TRY NOT TO DIE EVEN THOUGH YOU ARE GODTIER AND PROBABLY CANT FREEZE TO DEATH PERMANENTLY'
'BUT I AM A SUPER PROTECTIVE ASSHOLE WHOSE A LEADER SO DO IT ANYWAY'
practically had to attach myself to him surgically to get him to stay under the blanket because we were on some part of jades planet that was still covered in snow
which sucks btw
fuck snow
then we talked about a few issues about how helpful he is and how he cant do quadrants and how i suck at romance and how frustrated i was with the whole do i make the matriorb or not
and then i found out about kanaya n that was awesome
the other one is a bit more private sweet time that happened in a dream bubble
or something
that was really vague
there was a lot of talk of romance cuz i get troll stuff
but yeah i think hed go into an embarrassed fit if i explained more than that
i think he just needs more snuggles to be honest
affection would do him good

yeah
its not that bad
i get sprite wisdom and get to float around helping out dave sometimes so thats cool
okay wow no did not want to think about my alter bro flirting
let alone hate flirting
thats just nasty
alas the dave selfsest is being tragically prevented by the lack of daves
ironic considering they pop up like flies literally everywhere

what no
im sure your raps cant be worse than johns
im not my bro im not going to tell you your raps have to perfect
its meant to be fun and a chill thing to do

yeah it pretty much sucks
thats pretty much all there is to say on the matter

i guess so
i did do some things
i was a pretty awesome spritely guide especially since i wasn't at all cryptic with the hints
i told it like it was no bullshit puzzles
it just seems like i didn't do a lot since i guess i was used to being THE dave and having to do a lot of shit
hahaha i think thats the most spot on statement about our family ive ever heard congrats

thats kawaii as shit yo
vantas being all chivalrous and shit who knew
you guys were gossipgirls too man why do i always miss the best shit
yeah that guy is pretty much like the grinch if the grinch was gray instead of green and freaked the fuck out about buckets instead of christmas
and obviously he has a potty mouth with the grinch lacked because hello classic childrens tale wouldnt want cindy lou to pick up on some no no words
that would have seriously hindered her cute innocent girl appeal
it would have made the whole story hillarious as fuck though

plus the bitchin wings
i mean as long as u can sleep all right
those might suck on a bed
and its damn entertaining watching those two go
it is a shame to not be here in their time of need

i dunno man
im all for fun and sucky writing
but for a man with a rapper soul it could be painful
just sayin

yep

hmmmmmm
maybe thats a strider problem
u guys are all about doing the things that need to be done
dirks like that too
but if u dont got the things to actively do it makes u a bit stir crazy
u dont got to be doing all the things to be helping tho u know
sometimes u gotta take it easy
and just bein there and knowing someone is there can help
i imagine ur best bro and ex appreciated u bein around
as nice as aliens can be having someone who understands how u think
whose got a human mind
it helps a lot to make the oppressive times better
and not having a thing to do with so few people is the most oppressive
of course it is pretty obvious even from a distance
not sure if anyone playing is good with issues actually...

he was very chivalrous
very sweet and caring in his grumpy way
if only
we could have used the extra body heat but he did say his dave never liked listening to the quadrant stuff
i dunno if youd develop out of that or what
but hey if youd like to hear the differences between human and troll hitch u should totally join the scarced blanket cuddlepile of romcom comparison
lol
gonna imagine that whole story with karkat now
how the karkat stole the filial buckets
not sure whod make a good cindy lou though
maybe jake
jake might be naive and innocent enough and might survive with only a little bit of a potty mouth
but he says such ridiculous things people might miss it anyway

sleepings not really a thing sprites actually need to do
aka i can cuddle you all night long baby
im sure it is
watching bro do anything is pretty entertaining
hed probably kick my ass for saying that but a dude constantly with a puppet or a smuppet on hand was pretty hard to take seriously sometimes
eh theyre just party poopers

i dont judge unless youre really terrible
and i mean just out of this world how is it even possible to be that terrible kind of bad
writing wow
guess its sort of a lalonde thing sort of how rapping is a strider thing i guess

that is the wisest shit i have ever fucking heard from a girl that types in pink
i can get away with it since rose is more of a purple than pink really
although honestly rose has said some pretty wise shit but she only really understood when she was my rose
and she still remembers stuff yeah but well
its been a long time since weve talked shes probably busy doing the alpha rose thing now
but anyway that was some serious sage advice
i just wish i knew how to chill out
i mean ive got nothing better to do so why not
but when i dont have something to do everything just sort of feels pointless like why havent i already fucked up enough to get slain already

wow hes a softie that has totally upped the levels of cute from monstrous to titanic levels of fucking cute
i dont know much about trolls
in fact i probably know less than real dave does
but in the face of titanic levels of cute and some penguin style conservation of heat i might be tempted to sit in and get educated about weird aliens getting it on
perfect
i am so illustrating this its going to be beautiful
tears will be shed making this masterpiece a reality
yeah pretty sure hes our best bet even if he says ridiculous shit because there is no way jades innocent enough to play her shed kick his ass and solve the problem before it began the end ten scenes too early oops
and john is too much of a fucking asshole
he would probably laugh his ass off if karkat burst into his house and stole all his buckets not give him the wibbly eyes

oooo gotta love the cuddles
the puppets do make the serious face a bit less serious yeah
kind of a shame dirk dont carry them around more he could use with some relaxing
oh well

should have seen the rap i did with aradia
team curly struck everyone speechless with our rapping marvel
hell yeah its a lalonde thing
but im not mom
i just like making the stories but theyre kind of ridiculous

theres some stuff people cant really understand without going through it
like i dont get the doomed timeline thing
but i dunno i think maybe the loneliness is pretty close
if u r on ur own enough it only makes sense u start wonderin why u r still there
y u
whats so special about u and when r u gonna fuck up and when is this house of cards that is circumstances and ur sanity gonna just fall down
how even if ur surrounded by people
its still lonely cuz none of them can ever really get u
none of em really can because they didnt live it or r aliens and think u think weird anyway
but really i think after a certain point u just gotta decide
fuck that questioning bullshit its because skaia or whoever is pulling the strings is a fucking sadist
does stuff suck
hell yes it does
but there is stuff here thats important
theres happiness to be found
and ur happiness isnt worth any less than others happiness
now im not saying being an overbearing douche because that is a thing that can happen
but theres nothing wrong to calling someone out on being an asshole for ignoring u and hey maybe we can chat because i miss having people to talk to
its all right to not be thinking ahead and just be in the present
probs not an easy thing to learn but i think u can get it

not sure if an iceberg can sink those cuteness levels tbh
it is pretty interesting stuff especially if someone is passionate about it
callie talked about it all the time it was super cute and u can just see the squees in karkats eye when he got started
jake would totally buy any sort of story karkat would tell about needing to fix the handles or whatever
oh yes mister filial drone
it would be a gosh darned shame and quite a pickle to not have that handle fix
please save my holiday experience
only more ridiculous old timey sayings

he doesnt
seriously
bro never went anywhere without lil cal
it was really fucking embarrassing
but i guess i cant expect everything to be the same

aww man sorry i missed out on those ill jams
yo
oh wait thats right ugh rose is kind of your mom huh
guess that makes me your pop's feathery clone
i guess i could be an uncle
that crazy old uncle who went and turned himself into a bird
got to have one of those in every family
have you actually read roses fanfiction
there is some seriously weird shit in there

yeah
i say fuck you to skaia and sburb a lot
not out loud obviously
mostly i think im still around to be sort of a protector i guess
i still have my friends even if they arent my friends
and i figure maybe im around to make sure they finally beat this thing
itll be my final fuck you to the game

like on a scale of nicolas cage to dead fetus in a jar how interesting
if you find dead fetus interesting
which i do
oh god
so basically hes john but way more naive and he talks like hes still jades grandpa
wow
i look forward to meeting this dude i have a feeling im going to have a lot of fun talking to this kid

well he kind of lost lil cal
he was pretty broken up about it
not that hed admit it
but a lalonde knows

it was a pretty epic event
used it to christen our new epic blanket fort using long tables and furs
it was kind of a weird circumstances
wait what
are you
holy shit did mom and dirk's bro do the deed
that is hilarious jane was telling me to seduce my bro before she knew he was gay
poor girl would probably get all flustered if she knew
and of course everyone needs a cracy bird man uncle
you mean the cotl series
hell yeah i have i practically got educated with those books
like hell i was going to let mom's books beat me i learned how to decipher those mother fucks
i can read through the whole series in a week now

they can be ur friends
i mean not just the people who are alternate timelines of ur friends
but like realterforge that friendship
whatever youd call it
just sayin
but final fuck yous to the game i can go for
game deserves all the fus
and u make such a pretty guardian angel

what's NOT interesting about dead fetus in a jar
its totes dead fetus in a jar
maybe more on crystallized dead mutant cat which i find a bit more interestin personally
oh u will
i can tell
maybe u will do what dirk never could and get that kid to learn some real skepticism
betting he doesnt believe ur a bird fused alter young version of dirks bro
first thing he doesnt believe would be the thing thats true

plus your wings and… well, most of the rest got fixed at some point, right?

haha
well, you know i can't resist the call of a good party!
consider this one well and truly crashed.
but we should all do something that isn't about tragedies and what sucks in multilayered ways sometime.
… except that would probably be a pain to coordinate.
my point still stands!

yep
that actually sort of makes it worse since now that theres physically nothing wrong with me
besides being a sprite kid bird mashup
theres only one kind of broken the mun could be referring to
and i resent that
the word doesnt apply to me

dude you cant crash this party
everyone knows you cant crash a party you were invited to
yeah that sounds pretty chill
honestly after three years on that ship im so down for doing anything with you or jade that we couldnt do before
if i have to play your stupid ghostbusters game again i might just fly off into space
never to be heard of again
which i kind of did
except youre going to hear from me
probably

oh
oh, shit
i didn't think of that.
but yeah.
i mean, you're kind of weird
but not like that.

oh, snap.
then i'm bringing a lot more enthusiasm to the party than was expected!
also party poppers.
awesome.
how does a pizza party sound?
want to make a list of other stuff we should do?
haha, yeah, i think i've learnt my lesson on that one
we'd better!
that'd be kind of a crappy way to end things.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

dragging this muse out kicking and screaming

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I'm so sorry for this.

don't be this is awesome

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Roxy just wants to ramble...

It's a StriLalonde thing.

Oh that wordy family.

But we love them despite the rambles.

Yessss

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