on apping to ddd

[doppelglasses]

Leave it to you to find the one game where not only is it possible and encouraged to pick up a purely sentient AI, but also one that is, has and will be willing to welcome a 13 year old dude trapped in a pair of glasses into its purely metaphysical bosom.
That right there is pure fuckin' sincerity, I'm impressed.
My strong and muscular arms are giving you all kinds of radical applause.
Gettin' all up and matrimonial with these impressive phalanges.
It's like shit, HOW insufferably awesome do you even gotta BE to have a clap like that?

Comments

[t34l_just1c3]

D4V3? 1S TH4T YOU? >:O

[doppelglasses]

Yes.
And the percentage to which I'm fucking with you is so small it's basically an impossibility, so let's not even think about it with our rad comprehensive algorithms that nag and basically force-feed the inconsistencies there are in the fact that I am Dave.

[t34l_just1c3]

R34LLY?
TH3N YOUR3 4 SOM3ON3 PR3T3ND1NG TO B3 D4V3 OR YOUR3 SOM3 K1ND OF D4V3BOT! >:I

[doppelglasses]

You sound pretty sure of yourself.

[tipsygnostalgia]

hey ;D

u know what would be a better idea maaaaybe would be for me to just wear you
you can walk around i look super cool and we have all day to chat :3

[doppelglasses]

Is this the pure and innocent Roxy Lalonde propositioning me to splay myself across her face for an extended period of time?
Because I ain't sayin' no.

[tipsygnostalgia]

the one and the same

well when u say it lei that it sounds sorta pervy i know
*like
but yeah

[doppelglasses]

Pretty sure we've already crunched the numbers on how much you don't give a shit about making licentious comments to a 13 year old in a pair of glasses.

[scrums_and_whatnot]

Oh noooooo!

[doppelglasses]

Remember that discussion we had about minding the shit out of my delicate spun silk feelings?
You're kind of shitting all over them with that A+ behind of yours.
That's cool, I guess. 
Robots don't have feelings, right?
Allow me to render my speech in a more symbolic state for you to wrap your head around.
Bleep, bloop.

[scrums_and_whatnot]

Fuck.
Im sorry i know we exchanged some harsh words the last time we talked and even if i was in a bit of a pickle at that moment it doesnt excuse me being a jerk so im sorry.
But whether you have feelings or not its just that im already balled up over a couple of different people all seeming pretty the same and making me look the fool when i think theyre my actual friend that i know and who isnt either a robot or a pair of glasses or some kind of game construct i guess!
I dont mean anything against you in particular i just anticipate pulling yet another huge boner in public with you there.

[doppelglasses]

You weren't in a pickle.
We both already knew what you needed and how and where to get it, us exchanging sassy banter was only a formality.
But huge boners aside, apology accepted.
I'll never know why you get so knotted over not being able to tell us apart though.
Need I remind you I'm basically fucking him?

[artfulironicist]

At last, I can stop attempting to convince my sentient glasses that I'm not making up the community that connects realities.
At last.

[doppelglasses]

I've already finished combing through your every thread.
Someone's been busy.

[artfulironicist]

So many interuniversal contacts to make, so little time.

[adventurearms]

Oh for christs sake!
This isnt going to change the fact that you are nothing more than a PROGRAM trying to pretend to be a living artifact.
And now whoever might be in this place you are about to be sent to will have to deal with you when theyre looking for a real person!
Unless dirk isnt there...
Then i suppose this whole doppel glasses issue would be in your imaginary hands.

[doppelglasses]

I wasn't expecting that to hurt as much as it did.
But it did.

[adventurearms]

I apologize if thats really true but its still hard to feel sympathy for a pair of glasses.
Im still rather 99% sure you dont have any real emotions!
You should give me some credit for having at least some doubt here.

[doppelglasses]

Your skepticism is impressive but your stubborn jackass exterior sucks.
That's cool, you can shit all over my feelings all you want, because clearly not believing in them means they're not really a thing.
Congratulations, Jake, you caught me.
I'm just this big, sentient calculator built for the sake of getting shits and giggles off your various fuckups.
We're not really talking, I'm just gauging your responses and typing words accordingly using my small and constricted robobrain.
Here are some words for you, specially picked in accordance to your harsh comments.
Here are some more.

[ex_foxyroxy65]

oh my god
goooooood

[doppelglasses]

Appropriate reaction.

[unavoidabubbly]

mai l33t brainz is telilng me dat
this is the part where i hav 2 jump up & down
maybe mewe liek an allycat w glee
except in a hawt manner
& say
jackpot liek a bunch of timse
but 1st
ahem ahme
hello mr glassess how r u today
*wonk*

[doppelglasses]

It seems someone's got the right idea.
Hey, throw a party while you're at it.
I've got this killer dress I've been dying to show off.

[unavoidabubbly]

it seemes
autorespopder
that i want 2 knw abt that dress
i dint knw u were the taype 2 b in2 skirts
on u no less
;)

[doppelglasses]

Yeah, I'm all about the wicked pinafores and yards of tulle framing my clearly shaped and enviable legs.
The party is an infinitesimal illusion before I teeter in.