a dormant subroutine raises his head

[fuckitybye]

Yes, love, I know you shrieked like a fucking sugared-up One Direction fan in a training bra when they announced that lanky Caledonian streak of piss as the next Doctor, and I'm sure that someday you'll get tired of animated gifs of me calling Davros a cunt. Though if you ask me, that just goes to show you what piss-poor wankery passes for fucking imagination on the internet these days—if it really were me, I'd start off asking Daniel Fucking Day-Lewis where his Oscar is and go on from there.

But you got no fucking call to start squeaking like a stepped-on kitten about "playing Malc against a Twelve". Now mind you, I do have some pinhead-sized quantity of admiration for the rope-a-dope thought process that proposed putting me out here to draw out all those kiddies who've made a Twelve journal off the basis of a fucking press photo alone—but look here, sweetheart, you've been doing just fine leaving me the fuck alone for the last couple years. And may I add, you got a lot of fucking nerve when you've not even caught up on my TV show yet! So do us both a favour, yeah? Piss off and use some of that time you've been spending on Tumblr and pay some proper attention to catch up with me, and then maybe—maybe—we'll fucking talk.

...oh, and I see you went and bollocked up the tags on this entry too, yeah? You're a prize, love; a real fucking blue-ribbon village-fair heifer. Christ.

Comments

Not a Twelve, but I think she'll do.

[janisthorn]

...I did not understand a word of that.

[fuckitybye]

Wasn't meant for you, Barbarella.

[janisthorn]

Then I would hate to be the one it was meant for.

[She ignores the name - she's not sure if she's supposed to be insulted or not. She's met Barbarella in Miliways - she doesn't really see where the comparison lies.]

[fuckitybye]

Yeah, well, you haven't done anyhing to piss me off yet, so I reckon you're fucking safe.

[janisthorn]

Good. Such a confrontation would end poorly for you.

[She frowns.]

So he's really going to look like you then?

[fuckitybye]

Looks like it. Unless that whole fucking X-Factor song-and-dance was a practical joke in really shit taste.

[janisthorn]

Well, the hair is an improvement, at least.

[Hey, it's something of a compliment.]

[sixappeal]

How...coarse. Though, I'll give you credit, your way around the English language is rather admirable at times.

[fuckitybye]

Well, that's fucking made my day, it has, getting a stamp of approval from Bubbles the Clown.

[yourunichase]

Well looky what the stepped-on kitten dragged in.

[fuckitybye]

Jesus Christ. Scully? Where the fuck've you been, love?

[yourunichase]

Eh, sitting around in this one's brain looking for a place or something. New canon's coming out so she's fucking hemming and hauling like some sort of kid going on her first date.

I keep telling her it's simple: take me out and play me. Jesus Christ, it's not even that hard for her.

[fuckitybye]

Tell you what, you might be better off being left the fuck alone. This one's gotten some ideas lately—some kind of fucking Care Bear sort of cuddling game—who the fuck knows. She thinks it'd be funny.

[yourunichase]

[Miss Parker is just going to completely crack up and lose her shit entirely for a moment.]

Really? God damn, and I thought mine was cruel. Holy shit. Yours may deserve some sort of fucking medal!